Perplexed Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I'm not sure if there may already be a thread for this, so I'm sorry if there is. Just wondering if there are any other Aussies on this forum, living in the UK (or elsewhere) and are moving back home? I've been in the UK nearly 9 years now and I'm scared about going home, although I know deep down I really want to. I am now married with 2 small children. I guess I'm just scared that it won't feel like "home" anymore, and that I will regret leaving the UK. All I've dreamt about for the past 9 years is good weather and all the other things Australia has to offer. Anyone else feel this way? Is this normal? Thanks in advance for any replies :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Hi We have a few Aussies on the forum so hopefully they will be along soon to chat.. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 Chances are that it will not feel like home - you've changed, your nearest and dearest have changed and the environment will have changed. Think of it as moving somewhere new - and it might be better for your little family to move somewhere quite away from your family - try another state - it is very easy for the dislocated partner to be resentful that the other's family gets everything in terms of contact etc and theirs gets nothing - take a few hormones and the umpteenth absent Christmas and even the most rational of beings can become resentful - but, having been the displaced one this past 9 yrs you probably know that feeling well anyway. I don't think you can ever go back to what you had, just forward! Have you been back for a holiday? My son has been back 3 times in the 11 yrs he has been away and after his last visit he said he couldn't see himself moving back - until that point it was in his mind that he would but I don't know what it was that persuaded him - the lack of London buzz I think and the different lifestyle he was able to lead in UK. I think that surprised him actually. if it doesn't work out, you can always chalk it up to adventure and move on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausborn Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 I moved back in November 2012. Although I wasn't in the uk as long as you. Australia is still Australia. Prices have increased since you would of been here, then again so have wages. I suffered in the uk from the weather. At first I enjoyed the change, the cold was something different and seeing snow was great. I remember a week I was in Prague, was down to minus 16 . That was a experience for me. Price of things will be noticed to you as its been a while since you were in oz. Then again places like London, Norway, Switzerland were all much like Australian prices to me. Quite a few people now returning from London since times got tough in the uk. You find you just slip back into things. Well the ones i know anyway. I find they have come back for the money and weather. My wife who is from Suffolk has just fell in love with oz. The beaches, wildlife , wages and scenery are blowing her mind. I wanted to return to England/Europe when the economy improves but seems I'm going to struggle getting her back now. If its good weather and beaches you miss and are looking for I'm sure you will not be disappointed. There still as good as ever. My lifestyle is based around the water , that's what I always miss in England. If its doesnt workout in oz, England will always be there to return. Adventures are always good. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopylu Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 I'm not sure if there may already be a thread for this, so I'm sorry if there is. Just wondering if there are any other Aussies on this forum, living in the UK (or elsewhere) and are moving back home? I've been in the UK nearly 9 years now and I'm scared about going home, although I know deep down I really want to. I am now married with 2 small children. I guess I'm just scared that it won't feel like "home" anymore, and that I will regret leaving the UK. All I've dreamt about for the past 9 years is good weather and all the other things Australia has to offer. Anyone else feel this way? Is this normal? Thanks in advance for any replies :cool: My Aussie husband lived in the UK for 15 years and was happy there for a while but never felt like it was home. Like you, he missed the weather mainly. In his last few years in the UK he became increasingly homesick and this was fueled to a large extent by his sisters who kept telling him to move back home because they missed him. We moved to Australia in 2008. I eventually initiated the move to Oz when I found the right job (I am the main breadwinner) because I was fed up with him being constantly miserable about being in the UK - it was definitely impacting on our marriage and my mental health so I made the decision to do something about it. He has certainly been happier now that he is back in Australia but he has definitely lost the rose tinted glasses that he had while living in the UK. He has found his family and old friends in the main to have altered greatly in the time that he has been away and the promises to do things together when he returned to Australia were quickly broken. Although his family only live a few km away we hardly see them. When we make plans to see them, they invariably mess us around or cancel at short notice. They also can't be bothered to deliver birthday cards or presents for our kids on time (often weeks late!) even though we would never dream of doing the same to them. I saw more of my family in the UK who lived 3 hours away than we see of his Aussie family. In real terms we still see more of my parents than we do of his family as my parents come to visit about once a year for 5 weeks at a time and therefore spend more time with us!!! My husband has also found that the laid back Aussie lifestyle he remembers is long gone and he hates the increasing Americanisation of Australia and the materialism. He also cringes at the Americanised flag waving and constant reminders in the media about how Australia is the best country in the world. We were definitely better off financially in the UK because property prices here in all capital cities are comparable with SE UK prices (we lived in the much cheaper Midlands) and I think, deep down, that he feels abit guilty about this aspect of the move. I try not to dwell on it too much but it is a cause of regret for me.... Whereas we could afford in the UK to make regular trips to Oz to see his family, we are not financially in a position to make regular trips back to the UK to see my family because we have a lot less disposable income here. However, we've made our bed and, as we have school age children, we will stay for probably the next 10 years so as not to disrupt them any more. I'm taking the kids home for a visit to the UK after 5 years in September (financed by credit card!!!) and I am so looking forward to it. My husband has decided not to accompany us (due to cost) but I wonder if it is because he may find when he gets there that he finds the UK more stimulating than Oz.... I definitely think he misses alot of things from there - countryside walks, history, cultural events, supermarkets and affordable good beer and pubs. Perhaps if you are uncertain about moving back you should hang on to your UK home and rent it out in case you change your mind. Your kids are young enough to cope with a change in heart in a couple of years time if the move home does not work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grecia Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 Hi - I'm in a similar boat (although I've got dual nationality and been here slightly longer than 9 years lol). I was very glad to see your post. In fact, I joined the forum just so I could reply! Yeh, I've got worries too: I'm worried that I'm too 'pommified' to fit in back home anymore, I'm worried about all the petty rules and regulations they have over there (in VIC you can only have two dogs or cats even if your garden is half an acre and you can't even see the neighbours :confused:), I know that I'm going to go from being a high earner to being an average earner (I work in the City) and that is not filling me with joy... :wink: However... I don't fit in here either - I grew up in Australia and think Australian, even after a couple of decades here the British mentality is still a mystery to me. My Saffer boyfriend loves outdoors activities and 'extreme sports' so he's going to be in his element back home. At least I'm told I can find work over there, which is a problem for everyone over here at the moment. And at the end of the day, my nearest and dearest are all coming with me: partner, dog and parents. Everything has pros and cons so I guess it's perfectly normal to have mixed feelings. My way of dealing with it is just trying to stay focussed on the positive x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 I think a lot of people will relate to many of the things you have mentioned, we found Australia changed immeasurably in the time we were there, of course everywhere changes but we didnt like what we were seeing. The OP can only try and see how he feels about it, we cant say how they will take to it and whether they will adapt or not. My Aussie husband lived in the UK for 15 years and was happy there for a while but never felt like it was home. Like you, he missed the weather mainly. In his last few years in the UK he became increasingly homesick and this was fueled to a large extent by his sisters who kept telling him to move back home because they missed him. We moved to Australia in 2008. I eventually initiated the move to Oz when I found the right job (I am the main breadwinner) because I was fed up with him being constantly miserable about being in the UK - it was definitely impacting on our marriage and my mental health so I made the decision to do something about it. He has certainly been happier now that he is back in Australia but he has definitely lost the rose tinted glasses that he had while living in the UK. He has found his family and old friends in the main to have altered greatly in the time that he has been away and the promises to do things together when he returned to Australia were quickly broken. Although his family only live a few km away we hardly see them. When we make plans to see them, they invariably mess us around or cancel at short notice. They also can't be bothered to deliver birthday cards or presents for our kids on time (often weeks late!) even though we would never dream of doing the same to them. I saw more of my family in the UK who lived 3 hours away than we see of his Aussie family. In real terms we still see more of my parents than we do of his family as my parents come to visit about once a year for 5 weeks at a time and therefore spend more time with us!!! My husband has also found that the laid back Aussie lifestyle he remembers is long gone and he hates the increasing Americanisation of Australia and the materialism. He also cringes at the Americanised flag waving and constant reminders in the media about how Australia is the best country in the world. We were definitely better off financially in the UK because property prices here in all capital cities are comparable with SE UK prices (we lived in the much cheaper Midlands) and I think, deep down, that he feels abit guilty about this aspect of the move. I try not to dwell on it too much but it is a cause of regret for me.... Whereas we could afford in the UK to make regular trips to Oz to see his family, we are not financially in a position to make regular trips back to the UK to see my family because we have a lot less disposable income here. However, we've made our bed and, as we have school age children, we will stay for probably the next 10 years so as not to disrupt them any more. I'm taking the kids home for a visit to the UK after 5 years in September (financed by credit card!!!) and I am so looking forward to it. My husband has decided not to accompany us (due to cost) but I wonder if it is because he may find when he gets there that he finds the UK more stimulating than Oz.... I definitely think he misses alot of things from there - countryside walks, history, cultural events, supermarkets and affordable good beer and pubs. Perhaps if you are uncertain about moving back you should hang on to your UK home and rent it out in case you change your mind. Your kids are young enough to cope with a change in heart in a couple of years time if the move home does not work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 Sorry but finding work is clearly not a problem for everyone here at the moment as the overwhelming majority are working with unemployment only being a couple of % higher. My wife went to one interview and got the job.This belief that in Australia people just walk into jobs just mystifies me, those days are gone. Read the many threads on here about all those who cant find work. Good luck with your move but go with both eyes open. Hi - I'm in a similar boat (although I've got dual nationality and been here slightly longer than 9 years lol). I was very glad to see your post. In fact, I joined the forum just so I could reply! Yeh, I've got worries too: I'm worried that I'm too 'pommified' to fit in back home anymore, I'm worried about all the petty rules and regulations they have over there (in VIC you can only have two dogs or cats even if your garden is half an acre and you can't even see the neighbours :confused:), I know that I'm going to go from being a high earner to being an average earner (I work in the City) and that is not filling me with joy... :wink: However... I don't fit in here either - I grew up in Australia and think Australian, even after a couple of decades here the British mentality is still a mystery to me. My Saffer boyfriend loves outdoors activities and 'extreme sports' so he's going to be in his element back home. At least I'm told I can find work over there, which is a problem for everyone over here at the moment. And at the end of the day, my nearest and dearest are all coming with me: partner, dog and parents. Everything has pros and cons so I guess it's perfectly normal to have mixed feelings. My way of dealing with it is just trying to stay focussed on the positive x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkippyChick11 Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 Just wondering if there are any other Aussies on this forum, living in the UK (or elsewhere) and are moving back home? I've been in the UK nearly 9 years now and I'm scared about going home, although I know deep down I really want to. I am now married with 2 small children. I guess I'm just scared that it won't feel like "home" anymore, and that I will regret leaving the UK. All I've dreamt about for the past 9 years is good weather and all the other things Australia has to offer. Hi Perplexed, I know all too well how you're feeling. I've been in the UK for, coming up to 8 years now. My OH and I are getting married in Sep over here, and then moving to Aus not long after. I think I'm more worried that my OH won't settle in. He's been over to Aus with me a couple of times to visit (2 months all up) and loves it. But I'm very aware that the pace of life in Brissy may be a little different to sleepy Cornwall. I'm not saying that Brissy is hectic and a thriving metropolis, but it's gonna take a little bit of getting used to. Really not looking fwd to the bl**dy traffic! To be fair, I'm probably projecting my own feelings onto him. Every now and then I look around and think "why the hell would we want to leave"? We've both got great jobs, live in a fantastic village, have a brilliant work/life balance, great friends and his family live around the corner... but then winter hits again and I think "sweet baby cheeses, I cannot do another freakin' winter". I'm aware that a lot of my mates have moved on and have different lives to when I was last living in Aus, but I guess that's prob a good thing. OH & I will have to get out and socialise and make new friends together, rather than me just expecting him to fit into my old group of mates... And if it all goes completely pear-shaped, there's nothing stopping us from turning around and heading back to the UK! Don't worry mate, I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm sure your kids will settle in and you'll enjoy getting them involved with what you used to do when you were a young'un! Moreover, they'll be a great reason for you and your OH to get out there and meet new people. If not though, at least you gave it a shot (and topped up your vitamin d while you were at it)! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 My Aussie husband lived in the UK for 15 years and was happy there for a while but never felt like it was home. Like you, he missed the weather mainly. In his last few years in the UK he became increasingly homesick and this was fueled to a large extent by his sisters who kept telling him to move back home because they missed him. We moved to Australia in 2008. I eventually initiated the move to Oz when I found the right job (I am the main breadwinner) because I was fed up with him being constantly miserable about being in the UK - it was definitely impacting on our marriage and my mental health so I made the decision to do something about it. He has certainly been happier now that he is back in Australia but he has definitely lost the rose tinted glasses that he had while living in the UK. He has found his family and old friends in the main to have altered greatly in the time that he has been away and the promises to do things together when he returned to Australia were quickly broken. Although his family only live a few km away we hardly see them. When we make plans to see them, they invariably mess us around or cancel at short notice. They also can't be bothered to deliver birthday cards or presents for our kids on time (often weeks late!) even though we would never dream of doing the same to them. I saw more of my family in the UK who lived 3 hours away than we see of his Aussie family. In real terms we still see more of my parents than we do of his family as my parents come to visit about once a year for 5 weeks at a time and therefore spend more time with us!!! My husband has also found that the laid back Aussie lifestyle he remembers is long gone and he hates the increasing Americanisation of Australia and the materialism. He also cringes at the Americanised flag waving and constant reminders in the media about how Australia is the best country in the world. We were definitely better off financially in the UK because property prices here in all capital cities are comparable with SE UK prices (we lived in the much cheaper Midlands) and I think, deep down, that he feels abit guilty about this aspect of the move. I try not to dwell on it too much but it is a cause of regret for me.... Whereas we could afford in the UK to make regular trips to Oz to see his family, we are not financially in a position to make regular trips back to the UK to see my family because we have a lot less disposable income here. However, we've made our bed and, as we have school age children, we will stay for probably the next 10 years so as not to disrupt them any more. I'm taking the kids home for a visit to the UK after 5 years in September (financed by credit card!!!) and I am so looking forward to it. My husband has decided not to accompany us (due to cost) but I wonder if it is because he may find when he gets there that he finds the UK more stimulating than Oz.... I definitely think he misses alot of things from there - countryside walks, history, cultural events, supermarkets and affordable good beer and pubs. Perhaps if you are uncertain about moving back you should hang on to your UK home and rent it out in case you change your mind. Your kids are young enough to cope with a change in heart in a couple of years time if the move home does not work out. I can relate to your hubby very well. Although lived out of Austrlia far longer than 15 years felt an urge to return from Europe for a different type of life that I had largely imagined it to be in my head. Even after a few trips back I didn't really fully come to grips with the pitfalls ever though can't say I wasn't warned. Probably a thing one needs to experience for oneself though. It is hard coming from London I feel , unless one is ready to slow down considerably. If can ignore the lack of interesting social intercourse and all that goes with that that a city like London offers, and replace it with a surburban homelife and what some refer to as lifestyle only then will it be more managable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyTinKnicks Posted May 15, 2013 Share Posted May 15, 2013 We left the UK nearly 6 months ago after 7 years there. My OH is the Aussie and he is desperately, desperately homesick for the UK! Whereas I am (mostly) excited about our new life here. I'm sure if you ask me in 6 months time the answer will be different and maybe even reversed, but for now he is the one who keeps talking about going back before we've even had the chance to properly settle in here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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