Kerry Pollard Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 8 months is not long enough. Take off the rose coloured specs, take advantage of the opportunities. DONT FOLLOW YOUR HEART (at least not in the first 2 years). Join in. Read a lot about where you live. Its long enough for me. I am following my heart. I want to be happy again, I want to be the person I was back HOME. And I don't believe in the 2yr thing, whoever thought that up was stupid. I had those specs on when we arrived and they have come off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I tend to agree with those who advocate waiting longer until making the decision to return. A place doesn't feel like home until you start having a sense of familiarity and memories with friends in your new country (eg. "what were we doing this time last year?") - which surely requires at least a year, and sometimes several years. I say this as someone who recalls not feeling in the right place when we first arrived in 2001. Best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 And I don't believe in the 2yr thing, whoever thought that up was stupid. => No, not stupid. Its arbitrary, yes - but 8 months isn't really giving a place a fair go. IMHO. Best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I tend to agree with those who advocate waiting longer until making the decision to return. A place doesn't feel like home until you start having a sense of familiarity and memories with friends in your new country (eg. "what were we doing this time last year?") - which surely requires at least a year, and sometimes several years. I say this as someone who recalls not feeling in the right place when we first arrived in 2001. Best regards. I have been here several years and have simply come to the conclusion that this country does not offer me what the Uk can.....I have got to like the place less as time has passed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerry Pollard Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 I tend to agree with those who advocate waiting longer until making the decision to return. A place doesn't feel like home until you start having a sense of familiarity and memories with friends in your new country (eg. "what were we doing this time last year?") - which surely requires at least a year, and sometimes several years. I say this as someone who recalls not feeling in the right place when we first arrived in 2001. Best regards. I think it must depend on the person, some people can handle it and make it work and others can't, I refuse to be unhappy, miserable, crying constantly and that feeling of not belonging and missing out on everything back home is not worth it, we are no better off, probably worse off to be honest. It was a dream, more my hubby's than mine but it has now turned into a nightmare. So I choose to be happy and the only way that's gonna happen is by going home and following my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I have been here several years and have simply come to the conclusion that this country does not offer me what the Uk can.....I have got to like the place less as time has passed That's fine. I've just done 14 months back in the UK - and feel delighted to be back in Australia. Each to their own. Best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 That's fine. I've just done 14 months back in the UK - and feel delighted to be back in Australia. Each to their own. Best regards. Good for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I refuse to be unhappy, miserable, crying constantly and that feeling of not belonging... => That's fine. But try to be reasoned, and not to let emotion be the sole driver of your decision making. Best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I refuse to be unhappy, miserable, crying constantly and that feeling of not belonging... => That's fine. But try to be reasoned, and not to let emotion be the sole driver of your decision making. Best regards. Surely emotions are the drivers to most things we do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I have been here several years and have simply come to the conclusion that this country does not offer me what the Uk can.....I have got to like the place less as time has passed Yes , but at least you gave it more than a few months. Honestly I have moved over 17 times since I got married to someone in the forces and then as an expat, and lived in 5 different countries. It's not easy, and if after giving it a "fair go" you head back home it's understandable, but from experience it can take years for a place to become familiar, certainly not months, and if you haven't moved around much (not making any assumptions about any poster here, just a general statement) then I think it's more difficult to accept the differences. There seems often a 3 month honeymoon period when settling in a new place, then the homesickness sets in and some people can cope and others can't, and expectation level of your new life is often a big problem when the reality of living somewhere new sets in. I have had good times and bad times in places, but strangely enough seem to have forgotten most of the bad and focus on the different experiences I have been lucky enough to have experienced living in different places. Try to enjoy your what time you have left here, perhaps even pretend you are on holiday and explore your area if you haven't already, and you might go back to UK with a few happy memories of Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Sorry Flathead, most of my comments were general ones and not aimed at you. I was just picking up on the fact you had been here a few years and not months like other posters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Try to enjoy your what time you have left here, perhaps even pretend you are on holiday and explore your area if you haven't already, and you might go back to UK with a few happy memories of Australia. Well as I am virtually retired it has always been a holiday and I have seen much of the country. I am not unhappy here and have plenty of good memories...to me it is nothing special and certainly does not offer me what the UK can. Not a decision taken lightly as we came on a CPV and still have family here. I would rather live in England and come here for holidays... Which is what we shall do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Sorry Flathead, most of my comments were general ones and not aimed at you. I was just picking up on the fact you had been here a few years and not months like other posters. That's OK....I have just replied Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Surely emotions are the drivers to most things we do I said the sole driver. Heading back to a country that is an economic basket case and is looking at austerity for many years hence doesn't seem to be the best decision in a reasoned "head over heart" sense. I might be emotionally happy heading back to family, but if the job prospects were lousy and I'd be struggling to get by financially the practical realities might take precedence. They might even cause me to spend a bit more time trying to get involved with the many opportunities for living a well rounded life that exist in Australia. Regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I said the sole driver. Heading back to a country that is an economic basket case and is looking at austerity for many years hence doesn't seem to be the best decision in a reasoned "head over heart" sense. I might be emotionally happy heading back to family, but if the job prospects were lousy and I'd be struggling to get by financially the practical realities might take precedence. They might even cause me to spend a bit more time trying to get involved with the many opportunities for living a well rounded life that exist in Australia. Regards. Why would I want to work? perhaps some people have enough money to not have to worry too much about austerity. Who is to say Australia won't be an 'economic basket case' in a few years? There is a lot more to life than the relative wealth of a country Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellers and Whitehead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I said the sole driver. Heading back to a country that is an economic basket case and is looking at austerity for many years hence doesn't seem to be the best decision in a reasoned "head over heart" sense. I might be emotionally happy heading back to family, but if the job prospects were lousy and I'd be struggling to get by financially the practical realities might take precedence. They might even cause me to spend a bit more time trying to get involved with the many opportunities for living a well rounded life that exist in Australia. Regards. I normally think you give good advice, but on a personal level in response to your comment, I feel Oz is a 'social basket case' with regards to my career/services available etc. I have fewer career options here...much fewer..and financially no better off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I normally think you give good advice, but on a personal level in response to your comment, I feel Oz is a 'social basket case' with regards to my career/services available etc. I have fewer career options here...much fewer..and financially no better off. That's fine. That's a reasoned head over heart decision. Best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Why would I want to work? perhaps some people have enough money to not have to worry too much about austerity. Who is to say Australia won't be an 'economic basket case' in a few years? There is a lot more to life than the relative wealth of a country If you don't have to work - good for you. And if the strong A$ allows you to take advantage of moving back to the UK - again, good for you. IIRC the OP isn't in that situation. As to whether Australia will be more or less of an economic basket case than the UK over the next few years - I'll take my chances. Good luck with your trip back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flathead Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Good luck with your trip back. Thank you but I am not going back yet....Still have commitments and things to do....when I finally retire though...maybe next year, maybe the year after....maybe this year if I think it best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerry Pollard Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 I normally think you give good advice, but on a personal level in response to your comment, I feel Oz is a 'social basket case' with regards to my career/services available etc. I have fewer career options here...much fewer..and financially no better off. I am the same but I am unable to get a job, I am a support worker for people with learning disabilities and challenging behaviour and would have no problem getting a job with my 10 yrs experience back home but I don't stand a chance here, they want u to have qualifications and u need either PR or to be a citizen so I have to look at volunteering which isn't good as trying to survive on one wage is hard. But then we'd have to pay childcare if I did work and that costs a bomb, so we're in a no win situation really. I even tried all the jobsites and supermarkets but no luck. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I find it odd that someone espousing reasoned, data-driven decisions should use language as silly and emotive as "economic basket case" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Collett Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Thanks for your input, NSP. Best regards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamada Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 This is just my personal opinion. I think some people know pretty early on when Oz is not for them. I was one of those people; I gave it almost three years, joined in, worked, made some good friends and got on with life here but still did not feel right. After becoming depressed and on medication I moved back to the UK - felt immediately at home (even landing on a dank, cold, raining February morning, I loved it), that feeling of belonging was fantastic and I stayed for 14 months and never missed Australia once (I missed people but not the place). I returned to Australia in April this year for family reasons which I don't really wish to go into on a public forum. I tried so desperately to look at Australia with postiive eyes and make it work but the old feelings returned very quickly despite my best efforts. I am planning to return back to the UK some time this year as I just need to feel like ME again. Some people know very quickly when a place is not for them, some people give it time and find they settle eventually, some people love it on arrival.... Each person has to do what is right for THEM. We are all different and all take different paths through life. No one should be slated for the way they feel, as I said we are all different. Good luck Kerry on your return and to others making the same journey. By the same token, good luck to all who are making their lives here and enjoying it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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