Emmylou Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Ping pong poms.... I phrase often used to here, but does it work out, do you ever settle in one place or another? We lived in Aus from 2008-2010. We had a good lifestyle, OK jobs and nice weather (we were on the Gold Coast). Came back home as I was really homesick. I knew getting on the plane it was a bad move but by then too late and thought it was just nerves. Two years on all the reasons and more for moving to Aus are still evident, although older and slightly wiser I and my husband are more cautious. Ultimately the reason we came back was my homesickness, it got quite debilitating a visit home made it worse. I wonder whether I had stuck it out longer I'd have got through the homesick bit (had been in Aus 18 months before I felt that way). I know it would be harder to go back this time (financially imparticularly)but I'm not happy here, we just haven't settled. We have managed to buy a small bungalow and live in a nice area. Hubbie is a self employed carpenter and once he got work here (took 6 mths) he hasn't been out of work. I am an ITU nurse and have finally found a suitable job after 12months of hopping from one position to another. Friends are ace, family are great (but thought of leaving parents who are not getting any younger worries me - but I know they would support our decision), fincially we survive and have managed a decent holiday this year! We enjoyed life in Aus more and made an effort to do stuff. We say we should make an effort here but never do, I guess we have friends and family to fall back on so we don't need to leave the comfort zone. So ping pong poms what do you recon? Pro's and con's please? How many times have people ping ponged? Have people found they've settled better in Aus second time round? Is it easier/harder? Did you go back to where you came from or try somewhere else? :wubclub:Mxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gav71 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 "We enjoyed life in Aus more and made an effort to do stuff. We say we should make an effort here but never do, I guess we have friends and family to fall back on so we don't need to leave the comfort zone" Does this statement not answer the question for u? The fact that u can openly admit that u enjoyed life more out there is the thing to focus on. Homesickness does pass too. I went through a terrible time after my first visit home but I got over it........ and I was on my own too. Furthermore, there is nothing to stop u going back to UK again.......... better to try it and find out it was the wrong decision than spend your life wondering no? Best of luck with your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmylou Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 Thanks for replying! Just hard decision to make as you probably know not keep to be moving backwards and forwards from one side of the world to the other. Guess that's something that makes me more warey! But you're right the bit of my post you quoted does hit the nail on the head to speak. :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 There are lots of people who have been in your position so you aren't alone. You have to do what is right for you, think of the reasons you went back home, can you work with these problems again? Would you return to the same place or try somewhere else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmylou Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 Thinking maybe try somewhere else. Never felt the Gold Coast was a true representation of Aussie life, possibly part of the problem in the first place. Always felt for us a bit like Blackpool with sunshine. Thinking maybe Adelaide or Perth.... have heard good and bad about both cities. All advice and suggestions appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scmercer Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Ping pong poms.... I phrase often used to here, but does it work out, do you ever settle in one place or another? We lived in Aus from 2008-2010. We had a good lifestyle, OK jobs and nice weather (we were on the Gold Coast). Came back home as I was really homesick. I knew getting on the plane it was a bad move but by then too late and thought it was just nerves. Two years on all the reasons and more for moving to Aus are still evident, although older and slightly wiser I and my husband are more cautious. Ultimately the reason we came back was my homesickness, it got quite debilitating a visit home made it worse. I wonder whether I had stuck it out longer I'd have got through the homesick bit (had been in Aus 18 months before I felt that way). I know it would be harder to go back this time (financially imparticularly)but I'm not happy here, we just haven't settled. We have managed to buy a small bungalow and live in a nice area. Hubbie is a self employed carpenter and once he got work here (took 6 mths) he hasn't been out of work. I am an ITU nurse and have finally found a suitable job after 12months of hopping from one position to another. Friends are ace, family are great (but thought of leaving parents who are not getting any younger worries me - but I know they would support our decision), fincially we survive and have managed a decent holiday this year! We enjoyed life in Aus more and made an effort to do stuff. We say we should make an effort here but never do, I guess we have friends and family to fall back on so we don't need to leave the comfort zone. So ping pong poms what do you recon? Pro's and con's please? How many times have people ping ponged? Have people found they've settled better in Aus second time round? Is it easier/harder? Did you go back to where you came from or try somewhere else? :wubclub:Mxxx Hi Emmylou I too spent two years in Australia (Adelaide) and returned to Liverpool for several reasons really, mainly not being able to settle and wanting the kids to grow up around family. Like you I was really unsure about returning and for the first few months really wanted to go back to Australia, felt like the UK was so bleak, missed the sunny days and blue skies. It is only after being back a year, buying our own house again and having the kids in great schools and being around family, that I can appreciate being back. If I ponder on it too much I start to miss Oz and wonder if we have done the right thing, I just try to think back to how bad I felt when I was homesick and what I would have done to return home at that time. I don't think I miss Oz as much as I missed the UK. If you were happier in Oz than the UK then it is worth considering going back. I have thought about returning but I know I would never be 100% and you probably need to be to go through it all again. It is funny what you put about returning to a different place as I blamed Adelaide for not settling as I never really fell in love with the place, I have always thought if we had gone to the Gold Coast we would have settled easier! It is such a difficult thing emigrating, I always envy those who are so sure and don't doubt their decisions as it must make it so much easier to settle. Good luck with your decision x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buttercup Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Hi Emmylou I too spent two years in Australia (Adelaide) and returned to Liverpool for several reasons really, mainly not being able to settle and wanting the kids to grow up around family. Like you I was really unsure about returning and for the first few months really wanted to go back to Australia, felt like the UK was so bleak, missed the sunny days and blue skies. It is only after being back a year, buying our own house again and having the kids in great schools and being around family, that I can appreciate being back. If I ponder on it too much I start to miss Oz and wonder if we have done the right thing, I just try to think back to how bad I felt when I was homesick and what I would have done to return home at that time. I don't think I miss Oz as much as I missed the UK. If you were happier in Oz than the UK then it is worth considering going back. I have thought about returning but I know I would never be 100% and you probably need to be to go through it all again. It is funny what you put about returning to a different place as I blamed Adelaide for not settling as I never really fell in love with the place, I have always thought if we had gone to the Gold Coast we would have settled easier! It is such a difficult thing emigrating, I always envy those who are so sure and don't doubt their decisions as it must make it so much easier to settle. Good luck with your decision x I can relate to your post... We too went to Adelaide, but like you it just didn't do it for me. I too kept thinking 'what if we had gone somewhere else'? However, on reflection, I still think we would of come back, but maybe not as quick. Some days I miss it, but not to the degree I missed the UK. I think I physically yearned for the UK whereby when I think about Adelaide, it's just not that physical feeling that I had when I was there. I even lost weight (small Brucey bonus), but it was literally that I lost my appetite for quite a while. I too blamed Adelaide, slatting it one way or another, but it wasn't that bad it just wasn't for me. I will say though, it's not just the location as I do believe people honestly don't realise you are still in a different country, different ideas, values, rules, regs and culture etc. It does take some getting used to, if at all. As they say different stokes for different folks! I do like being back though, and sometimes you have to do these things to make you appreciate what you had all along... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Collins Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 You're certainly not alone. Good friends of ours emigrated, moved back, emigrated and moved back again. Think this time they will stay in the UK. They tried Perth, then Melbourne. It was her family that brought her back in the end and after 10 years they'd had enough. Everyone is different though, and I think Moving to Melbourne's advice seems sound. It's an expensive business being a ping-pong, and that comes from a ping pong Aussie. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcorners Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 We moved back to Australia last year from the UK. We previously lived here from 2006 to 2008, and came back to the same town. The first stint in Oz had been pretty easy, in fact too easy, and we longed for more so when a better opportunity came up we went to Canada. Canada didn't work out for several reasons and we ended up back in the UK. In between our Oz stints one of us had always been working away on FIFO jobs, and we were getting sick of it. We were also acutely aware of how much more we could earn in Australia. So we packed up our house last year and flew out again. I would say that the level of homesickness has been similar, no easier, no worse. Both times I have had to deal with deaths of loved ones back in the UK, both people and pets. I find this extremely hard to deal with and trying to make decisions about going back for funerals etc. Moving back to the same place made it easier to settle, as we knew people here and knew where everything was. But there was definitely no honeymoon period! We still get bored here. My OH said last night he used to get bored in the UK. Then he said he gets more bored here! He is hard to keep occupied, bless him! When we get bored we just remember the positives of being here and just bear in mind that one day we'll get to experience more of the positives that we miss from the UK, when we do go back (again....). It sounds like you're getting itchy feet! Perhaps now that you're relatively settled you need something to focus your energies into. And you need to try for a period to get out more and enjoy what the UK has to offer. Once you feel like you're putting in the same effort, you may feel that life is more rewarding (that goes for anyone, anywhere!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robfromdublin Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 It sounds like you're getting itchy feet! Perhaps now that you're relatively settled you need something to focus your energies into. And you need to try for a period to get out more and enjoy what the UK has to offer. Once you feel like you're putting in the same effort, you may feel that life is more rewarding (that goes for anyone, anywhere!). This. What is stopping you making the same effort to do things that you did in Oz? Granted there isn't the same beach weather in the UK but surely you could think of other fun and interesting things to do? If you're spending your weekends visiting friends & family, maybe you'd be better bringing them along. Introducing them to the same hobbies you took up on the Gold Coast. It just sounds like you're bored to be honest. There are easier ways to cure that than emigrating! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I am a firm believer that you learn to live with homesickness rather than get over it. Seven and a bit years on, there a heap of things I miss! Things and people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I do and I don't understand homesickness. It had got the better of us as we moved back to UK last year and still reeling from the "huge mistake" as I call it. We had a comfortable life in Oz but it wasn't enough apparently and now I'm trying to rebuild what we once had back here. I think if you can have the mindset that you can always take unpaid leave in Australia and go back for a vacation to UK, without burning any bridges, then it is manageable. After all you are only 24 hours away by plane, and it's far better to see people on a flying vist when you have them buzzing round asking about your Aussie dream life. So my advise would be, don't go back unless 1) you are absolutely certain you are getting something better out of it, and 2) you can't bear to be in Australia any more. I don't think many ping-pong poms think about the finances when going back, we didn't. It's horrible what some people go through during the ping-pong. We lost heaps of money and gave up practically everything to go back. Think CAREFULLY, don't give into emotion, that only leads to pain. Listen to your head first and your heart second :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubter Posted October 15, 2012 Share Posted October 15, 2012 Also felt it was a huge mistake coming back to UK after a week of bleak British weather. I tell myself over and over I should have come back for a visit because 2 months after booking the flights, without my wife agreeing by the way, the homesickness had passed but things were too far advanced. At that point the kids had been brainwashed by me and were looking foreward to seeing their old friends. In hindsight I should have been cruel to be kind and cancelled the move. Would have saved me a lot of money as well. The grass is not always greener coming back to the UK either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Also felt it was a huge mistake coming back to UK after a week of bleak British weather. I tell myself over and over I should have come back for a visit because 2 months after booking the flights, without my wife agreeing by the way, the homesickness had passed but things were too far advanced. At that point the kids had been brainwashed by me and were looking foreward to seeing their old friends. In hindsight I should have been cruel to be kind and cancelled the move. Would have saved me a lot of money as well. The grass is not always greener coming back to the UK either. I completely understand, I had reservations as soon as I had got everything under way, told a friend I thought we were making a mistake but by that stage it seemed too late to back out, as the wife had got here UK mindset on. The grass is definitely not greener. It is just a shame we could not see that at the time. We have caused ourselves so much undue stress and money coming back to UK. It has torn the family apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wishful Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I have been here 26 years and homesickness NEVER goes away but you learn to live with it. Mine is worse at christmas or when things happen back home. My kids are 15 and 13 so in a few years I will be able to spend more time in UK ( I hope ) Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I am a firm believer that you learn to live with homesickness rather than get over it. Seven and a bit years on, there a heap of things I miss! Things and people! Disagree, you get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 It is ridiculous to say you get over it, many certainly dont. My wife was homesick until the day we left, after many years in Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Problem is you would probably want to come back to the UK after 6 months, think hard before going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest paulwbafc Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I had homesickness probably for a good 3 years. Finally settled in Brisbane bayside, mostly seeing my children progress and be happy has helped along with good friendships that I have made. One of whom has been like a brother and treated me better than my old pals in England. I summarize the difference between Australia and England this way. In Australia you have an escape, many outlets to get away from work. The vast choice of things to do, so many places to explore, bush walks amazing beaches, sports, bbqs with friends etc. In England you don't have that same choice, shopping pubs and going down the football was my life in England, stuck indoors a lot. You do have family but they get annoying and you get the arguments and fall outs. I feel far enough away not to get involved in family politics and get on better from afar via email and skype. My wife is in the uk at moment. She went to London on a coach and some youths was talking really vulgar about 'fisting' really loudly. My wife felt embarrassed and eventually a guy went up to them gave them a touch up. Also she was up blackpool to take our daughter to the lights and a brawl broke out. I fly back Friday night and yesterday had a panic attack started throwing up. I hate England for the country is immoral I have seen awful things there before I moved to oz. The burglaries and trouble at night getting woken by police helicopters chasing trouble makers, getting junkie needles thrown into my back yard where my 2 year old son was playing, walking thru town to see a teenager have a poo in front of this bakery for a laugh, the youth that tossed a coke can at my feet walking down a road, feeling unsafe walking on the streets at dark, and the stale smelly air. England has left it's mark on me. I am terrified of making just this visit to see family and after all that's happens over there with the riots I am a bag of nerves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest paulwbafc Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I want to add I am 110% over homesickness. My homesickness now is 110% for Australia I goddam love it here and 3 week visit to England I am dreading my visit which is only because my father is in hospital with the big C. So it's a visit that I have to make. But really i can t wait to come home to Brisbane. I am an Aussie citizen and it's says Australian on my passport. That is where my loyalty lies now firmly with Australia. Not broken Britain whom I have divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 It is ridiculous to say you get over it, many certainly dont. My wife was homesick until the day we left, after many years in Australia. Just as ridiculous to say you don't get over it. Everybody is different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortlepuss Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 I had homesickness probably for a good 3 years. Finally settled in Brisbane bayside, mostly seeing my children progress and be happy has helped along with good friendships that I have made. One of whom has been like a brother and treated me better than my old pals in England. I summarize the difference between Australia and England this way. In Australia you have an escape, many outlets to get away from work. The vast choice of things to do, so many places to explore, bush walks amazing beaches, sports, bbqs with friends etc. In England you don't have that same choice, shopping pubs and going down the football was my life in England, stuck indoors a lot. You do have family but they get annoying and you get the arguments and fall outs. I feel far enough away not to get involved in family politics and get on better from afar via email and skype. My wife is in the uk at moment. She went to London on a coach and some youths was talking really vulgar about 'fisting' really loudly. My wife felt embarrassed and eventually a guy went up to them gave them a touch up. Also she was up blackpool to take our daughter to the lights and a brawl broke out. I fly back Friday night and yesterday had a panic attack started throwing up. I hate England for the country is immoral I have seen awful things there before I moved to oz. The burglaries and trouble at night getting woken by police helicopters chasing trouble makers, getting junkie needles thrown into my back yard where my 2 year old son was playing, walking thru town to see a teenager have a poo in front of this bakery for a laugh, the youth that tossed a coke can at my feet walking down a road, feeling unsafe walking on the streets at dark, and the stale smelly air. England has left it's mark on me. I am terrified of making just this visit to see family and after all that's happens over there with the riots I am a bag of nerves. I can see why you'd prefer Bayside! It's certainly a lot quieter than UK cities.... I come from a lovely village in the South of England, which is quite close knit. It can be difficult going for a walk (we're next to a national park) as so many people stop and chat. Our local town is steeped in history, and just stunning to walk around. For so many people their relative comparisons of Australia/UK depend on where they're from. When my kids were a bit younger the main thing they missed from UK was 'fresh air and countryside'. In Brisbane we have access to magical walks and lovely beaches here one to two hours away - but I do miss having that stuff on my doorstep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairystar32 Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I wish you all the best whatever you decide. I do not miss the UK at all only my family, If I could ship them here my life would be complete. I miss them more and more as time goes on, events happen and people change. I think missing them gets worse with time. However, I really would never go back to live in the UK, Australia is our home and we love it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Not everyone suffers from homesickness! I didn't for 30 years. I felt sick when I had to go back for visits and couldn't wait to get back here. Last visit back hit me like a bolt of lightening - overturned everything I had believed in for so long because I did not want to leave England. It was hard to admit and I'm still not sure why it has happened but I wasn't alone as I found out a few months later as my OH also wants to return too and he's been living her happily for even longer! I have three kids here but once we get sorted we're off back to UK, which I now think of again as HOME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I want to add I am 110% over homesickness. My homesickness now is 110% for Australia I goddam love it here and 3 week visit to England I am dreading my visit which is only because my father is in hospital with the big C. So it's a visit that I have to make. But really i can t wait to come home to Brisbane. I am an Aussie citizen and it's says Australian on my passport. That is where my loyalty lies now firmly with Australia. Not broken Britain whom I have divorced. I know what you mean, I spent a year in UK and absolutely loathed it. Totally missed my life in Australia, house, beach, parks, BBQ, everything seemed alien in UK, just terrible. Back in Aus now but things are different, can't seem to fix things. Wife and kids are in UK and don't want to come back. Just don't understand it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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