Country vic

Has the poster, or anyone else, got any first hand results (or lack of them) to report from this recommended link.

Some asked me recently (rather aggresively I thought) if I had heard of Meet Up, well of course I have, I looked into it some time ago, unsurprisingly there was nothing in my area. Considered setting up a potential group myself to see if it brought any results but was put off by the cost, especially as I am doubtful much would come of it. Has anyone tried Meet Up, either turning up or starting your own group, how did it go. I would imagine those in bigger centres might find something but can't see any activity in the wops. Note to self: Small towns are not a good idea unless you have existing contacts and support, religion is big here but not much else :- )

Good luck to everyone seeking real life friends, however they approach that issue. If you have success stories it be worth posting them as they could be interesting and helpful to other members. Cautionary tales might also be useful : -)

It seems to me there is very little real life connection via this site, and the Internet generally. I notice that many requests posted by people seeking real life company here, even in large centres, go without any response. Maybe it's a sign of the times. I would say if you have good supportive connections where you are now consider very carefully whether you want to give that up, you may never replace that.

What happened about the beating of his wife....

I am curious if members meet. I often see requests from lonely members to meet up with other members who seem to live in the same region (Melbourne, Sydney, Gold Coast) but not much evidence many people actually get together and become real life friends. Also wondering if any members go a bit further and invite members to visit and stay with them. With Australia being such a big and diverse place and the expense of travel, do any members use their network here to take holidays, especially those who have been in contact with other members for some years do you take steps to actually meet or is it kept to online. There are those who are very happy here and, of course, those who are not, I wonder if visiting a fellow member would offer a welcome and therapeutic break for those who are not doing well. I have to say I don't get on-line 'friendships', it reminds me of people who say they have 'met' a romantic partner on-line but the fact is they have never met. We know people go on like this for years, many are scams but some of these people do exist and they could meet if they wanted to. I also don't get Facebook, I would have thought the point of having friends, or partners, is to spend time together and have real company and support. It seems to me people have got scared of real friendships and keep everyone at arms (a very long arm in some cases) length. Do people here have real friends they first made contact with on this site.

I agree. This situation came about from a major broken promise, promises can't just be set aside. If the OP knew coming to Australia was a life sentence she may have made a different decision. She he has a right to have the promise made to her respected.

Back to the OP. I hope there are some thoughtful, considerate and intelligent members who can offer the OP some practical support, I feel for her. As for the more brutal and thoughtless commentators, may I respectfully suggest caution. When people are in trouble, even if that is their own fault and they are useless individuals who deserve their plight, unless the intention is to inflict more pain it might be better to resist the urge to put the knife in. Good luck OP, sorry I have nothing to offer.

Thanks Bristolman you made me smile for the first time in days. Back to the OP, I do think a little travel could help give some clear space and a change of scene,. The reason I suggested members might help is, in my experience, travelling alone, with no one to meet you at the other end, can be depressing in itself.

It's only a suggestion take it or leave it. I would not offer as I live virtually as a recluse and have nothing to offer, unless anyone is looking to organise a mass suicide. As Bristolman correctly observed where I live wouldn't be likely to improve anyone's will to live - we don't even have trains or buses much less planes :- ) Seems to me the OP might benefit from the company of happy, compassionate, understanding people/family who are doing OK and could offer a good time for a break.

As an isolated person who knows how miserable life can be and also how cheap talk is, may I suggest some members here offer you a break in the city. If the info here is correct your 'kids' are adult so, depending on work commitments, you can get away. A week in the city might give you space to think about the future as well as access to theatres, galleries etc. so how about it members. Flights to Melbourne and Sydney aren't that expensive these days, if members can pick you up at the airport, provide accomodation for a few days it would offer a break and maybe a bit of pampering. With members coming from all areas of he country surely there are some who can offer some real life, practical support.

What year is this?? How long should a woman sacrifice her life for the 'family', it's not all about her putting the family first, other members of this family need to do the same and put her first, at least some of the time. There is a husband involved, I suggest he need to consider 'it's not all about him' it's past time the feelings of his wife should be a major priority. These 'kids' are virtually adults, if they are not away living their own lives yet it won't be long. This is could be a good time for the OP to allow herself to consider her own long term needs. The 'kids' are at an age where they can travel independently and make their own decisions.

My situation is different in many ways than yours, however, I have been here for 10 years and frankly I think cutting my own throat would be preferable to living like this for another day, let alone another 5 years. I understand being trapped, like a prison with no parole date. You mention your husband 'doesn't get it' why not. I am single so in no position to comment on marriage but I would think a partner who truly cares for you would have your back and make an effort to understand. He made a very important promise then ignored it, that looks like a red flag to me, can you trust anyone who does that. You agreed, or were coerced, to come here on false pretences. if you don't have any close friends who you can be honest with and who will support you, from my own experience, and what I read of other people's, if you have been in a place for 5 years sticking it out for 10 is unlikely to result in anything different. The only thing I can suggest is to find solitary activities, things to do that don't require anyone else or make you look like a weirdo: running, cycling, going to the gym, it's not much but it's better than nothing and can be good for you. Don't throw your life away, one day you will be my age (62) and realise all the things you hoped for can never happen, it's all to late. If you feel there are ways to make it better maybe give it a timeframe, say 6 - 12 months, if you have done everything you can and nothing feels better by then you must find a way of getting into a situation that may work better for you. You have family back in the UK, if it comes to returning can/will they help.

'Forgiveness' is for minor offences, the situation described in the OP is not a minor offence in Australia. The cop probably suggested forgivness to make it look like they were being nice. I applied over a fine for doing 64 in a 60k zone, refused so I paid. One thing for migrants to remember is speed cameras, random and fixed, are everywhere in Oz. They have favourite places to park the random ones, obviously they are put in locations where they know driving over (albeit by a small amount) is common, often on raods just out of town and just before, or after, where the limit changes. Whatever people think of that its the way it is.

I would like to offer a comment on property purchase, from my experince I would never use a lawyer. There are many good convenyancers, get several quotes, if you really want to use a lawyer (I can see no advantage in that) many now realise they have to compete for business and will provide quotes. Also when the transaction is complete I now make sure I get all my documents (including wills and trust deeds) and keep them in my own safe, I also scan anything important and keep a copy in Dropbox. If you have a mortgage the lender will hold the title but if you don't owe anyone a cent your documents are yours. if you are in a small town consider using someone out of town. Small town gossip can be toxic, I always thought it came from people in town with nothing better to do, I now know some lawyers are the source of gossip. Trust no one but yourself....... The first we know of people being incompetent and/or untrustworthy is when it's to late, so protect yourself as much as you can, if you have doubts get out at the earliest oportunity, don't chase your losses.

Not sure where the idea I have been in Australia for 30 years came from, I didn't say that. As I did say I am a dual UK/NZ citizen - not a PR or Australian citizen. The reality of being a temporary resident often comes as a shock to people who live here with a SCV, that's the price we pay for not looking ahead and doing the research. There has been talk about creating a pathway to allow SCV holders to move ahead but nothing has ever come of it. I would like to see NZ treat Australian citizens who move there in the same way NZ'ers are treated here, that might encourage the government here to change their policy. If there is anyone is a similar situation, complicated work and personal history, living as a temporary resident on a SCV let me know how you got on. Like most things I am the cause of my own problems. Not to worry things will work out - or not.

I left the UK about 30 years ago, lived in NZ for 20 years and in Australia for the last 10 years. I am starring to get very worried what will happen when I reach pension age. Just checked out the UK gov web site and I can apply this November, although if you live overseas you can't apply on-line. Has anyone here been through the process of claiming their UK pension here. I have a bad feeling I will get little or nothing, my work history is rather scattered, I have been self employed since I came here so I am thinking I will have to work until I drop, when the day comes I can no longer work, who knows what I will do then. Are dual UK/ NZ citzens entitled to any Australian pension payments. It's starting to get seriously worrying. Any sharing of your experience with age pensions UK, NZ OZ appreciated.

I occasionally look to see if there is anyone in my area.......there never is. Shepparton is the nearest I have seen. i am confused why you say Shepparton - Echuca, they are a long way apart. I am an hour from Shepparton but over 2 hours from Echuca. Not that it matters, I am 60's and single so of no use to you. i don't think you will find people in your area on this forum. Things are very different out in the regions, I looked something up recently and over 90% of residents where I live were born in Australia, I suspect most of those were born in this town, I am an alien...... Shepparton is different, a lot of unemployment, it has one of the largest empty shop rates in the state, there are immigrants but very few are European. Echuca is very different a tourist town and much more middle class.