As an international student and GSM applicant myself, I can completely emphasise. However, your rant delivered with such angst is ill-fitting of your apparent achievements in both university and workplace.
I am not here to berate you, but to emphasise and redirect your frustration into positive. You clearly have good grasp of the English, but it seems your argument and phrasing of sentences are lacking.
Let's start from the top: You acknowledged Freedom of Information act wouldn't work against the IELTS and its company - if you are conceding that it won't work, why are you making argument that it should?
Also, language is a mean of communication. Effective written communication should also be simple. I would recommend that you start selecting words that fits and explains your point of view better.
Example A:
"The .5 deficit means that by this time next year, I will have to leave the country for good due to expiry of current visa."
'Deficit', really? This is not a budget talk. you have a difference in points required and points you received. Use of punctuation as well, seems to be very limited in your writing. Punctuation is extremely important and that could may well have been your downfall here.
Anyway, that's just me giving you couple pointers.
I don't work in a 'top notch' consultancy but boy, I would consider harnessing more positive approach and less of pomp and paranoia, since you leak of stereotype 'I expect so much from society and if I don't there's a consipiracy'. You give us hard working people a bad name.
