So sorry that you are feeling so bad, here is a :hug: not real I know but hope it helps. Everyone is right you need to get help ASAP, your children need you. Please also try to speak to your husband, I know it's hard believe me I've been there & I'm sure he will want to help. After all you have been together a very long time & have a family together. If you ever need an ear to bend, please feel free to pm me. Take care of yourself & please update on your progess. He is another couple of :hug::hug: xx