PDC Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 It looks very likely that we will be moving back to Australia in May. We lived there before for a couple of years, but moved back to the UK when our daughter was 18 months. We visited on holiday last year, so my daughter, who's now 7, can remember a little about it. My son will be just 5 when we go, so can't really remember the visit. We have family in Australia as my husband is an Aussie, but I know how gutted my kids will be to leave their friends, grandparents and school. I don't want to give them too much time to over-think everything, but I don't want to surprise them either! At this age I'm hoping that they will settle at schools quickly..... Any advice more than welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 They are 7 and 5, they'll soon make more firends and adapt. I would tell them soon though, if you delay it will get harder to bring it up and they may feel a bit left out. When you tell them make sure you sound excited and positive about the move. Kids are very sensitive to how other people feel and tend to follow those feelings. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B1K3R Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Children vary from one another, so what might be good for one is not ideal for the other. Our daughter is the adventurous type so we involved her in the migration process from the beginning. The goal to involve her was to make her feel safe about the move, no unknowns, so by knowing where we are going, which school, why etc etc she felt important about the move and knowing what to expect next, no surprises. So we looked for suburbs, schools etc together....we stayed showing all the nice places we will be going together...so in a nut shell, we got her excited! She was 4 1/2 when we moved to OZ and she knew what was going on and where she was going...she fit in straight away, loved school, made lots of friends, loved all the parks/beaches/outback/city.... Young kids adapt very easily and make friends faster than us, adults. Again, like I said, kids are not the same..this worked for our daughter but I would not know if it works on other kids. Though, she missed her grandparents, a little bit though, not much. That's something that all those who move have to face. For those who are not close to them (grand parents/parents etc) its easy peasy, otherwise it's a bit tough. Good luck and have fun! Cheers B!K3R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boganbear Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 If I could turn back time and move abroad again as a kid. I was 7 when we moved to Gibraltar and loved it. Focus on the positive - lots of clubs, beaches, things to do and make sure you follow through once you get here and in no time they will make new friends. With skype and cheap phone cards staying in touch with family is not as hard or expensive as it used to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabo Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 'Looks very likely'? - I think I would tell them as soon as you are absolutely sure, but not before, and not long after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDC Posted January 13, 2012 Author Share Posted January 13, 2012 It isn't 100% definite as we have to approach the mortgage company to see if they will 'Consent to Let' and if, with the higher charges, we'll then be able to rent it each month and now owe a fortune. My job offer is firm, and if the mortgage gets sorted, then it is certain that we'll do. We are lucky enough not to have any visa issues as the children are citizens and I have PR. Hopefully we can talk to the mortgage company next week. We have mentioned the idea to my daughter in very general terms, and kept positive about the outdoor lifestyle, which she loves, and her cousins etc, but like most 7 year olds, she is worried about the possibility of changing schools etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I think aged 7, even though there are bound to be some worries, once the move is happening you'd be surprised at how well children adapt and adjust. Some struggle but if you know your child well and feel they will be able to cope with things and you are supportive and all that, I can't see there being too many problems. The main reason we are moving sooner rather than later is that we don't want our son to be too attached to life in the UK when we have a large family and friends in Aus and we feel the move will be better while he is younger than when he is older and into senior school and so on. So we'll be going around the time he is 5, heading to 6. I'd not leave it later than 7 personally as even though I still think its more manageable he'd have done 2-3 years of school by this point and have very definate friendships and so on. But I know he'd cope fine moving even then. FWIW I know a family who have moved from London to the south west of the UK. So almost a world away but their oldest is 7 going on 8 and although the first term at his new school he struggled a bit to settle and get to know people, by the time the next term came round he had a firm group of friends, loves going to school and is very happy. And never even mentions his old friends and school in London. His parents were supportive, signed him up for a few clubs, arranged play dates and sleepovers and so on to help him get to know people and its been really good for him. His younger sibling, 4, made the move without even a blip about leaving behind nursery or little friends etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jamesandstephcole Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 You can only do what you feel is right for your own children. From our perspective we have taken a very open approach with them, we started back in July when the kids were 6 and 8, and they were involved in even the very first discussions about whether it was something worth looking into.. My wife and I are using every stage as a fresh learning experience for the kids. they lived through the long saturdays plugging away at the paperwork for the skills assessment. they helped daddy revise for the IELTS having failed his first attempt!. they shared the joy as each stage (so far!) got ticked off, they know what needs to be achieved and what lies at the other end. they see mummy and daddy cheer when each box gets ticked and trust us that at the other end lies a new adventure, but equally they understand that it is not assured until the golden ticket comes through the door! The early discussions involved using google maps to illustrate just how far away it was. and making them concious of the time on the plane by using a stop watch to register the period. We talk about the change of school, the change of friends, the use of skype to catch up with family.... I think I've painted the picture. We have had periods with both of them where they have shown worry and concern about leaving friend, family and other stuff, but with talk and honesty they are now very settled with it, and proudly announce the plan to everyone! ( this has got us into a little bit of trouble with my Wife's boss - who we would have preferred not to know for a little longer!) Anyway, this way has been great for us (so far).. it makes life alot easier for us (and alot more enjoyable for all)... if we have to manage a big dissappointment in the future.. then a big learn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tandcmum Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 we didn't tell the children until we had made the absolute definate decisin to migrate as we didn't want them worrying when it is was an maybe scenario. My two are 10 and 8 and actually took it really well, my daughter was really excited from the start, my son was quite upset at first as he has lots of friends and loves his school but he came round pretty quickly and is now looking forward to it first. It was a lot easier telling the kids than telling my mother thats for sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zara283 Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I have been toying with the same situation. I have a 5year old son. We have asked permission from his father & been granted consent which is good. We are waiting for our employer to be confirmed as our Sponsor before we apply but so far have not told my son anything. The general idea was to sit down & tell him with his father involved but we didn't know whether to do it before the visa is granted & involve him from there onward or wait till the visa is granted. It is a tough decision. I don't want to give him too much time to mull over it, yet I don't want to surprise him with it as I had to do that when I moved away from his dad. Basically I moved on the quiet whilst my son was staying at my mum's as I had some problems with my ex at the time & then when I picked my son up I told him we had moved. Thankfully we moved to a place that he already knew so it wasn't too bad but there did follow months of problems with him. As Im writing this I am beginning to think that maybe it is a better idea to tell him whilst we are in the process as this time he won't know the place & hasn't been before. Hmmm it is a big decision, more lengthy discussions with my OH & ex I think as to when to tell my little man. Good luck to others in the same position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDC Posted January 13, 2012 Author Share Posted January 13, 2012 we didn't tell the children until we had made the absolute definate decisin to migrate as we didn't want them worrying when it is was an maybe scenario. My two are 10 and 8 and actually took it really well, my daughter was really excited from the start, my son was quite upset at first as he has lots of friends and loves his school but he came round pretty quickly and is now looking forward to it first. It was a lot easier telling the kids than telling my mother thats for sure Ah yes, we've got that to look forward to this weekend. Again, with an Aussie husband they have always known it's possible, and we have constantly said that we may well go back for a while, but I know it will still come as a shock with the kids being their only grandchildren. I just remind myself that it's what we think is right for our kids at this time - things may change, but if we can sort the house, then we feel we should take the opportunity. Am stock-piling wine as I think several large drinks may be needed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spesandocene Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 I think the age is perfect to do it. They are young and probably will find friends faster then you :biggrin:. Pay only attention at the words and your emotions: if you will be an happy man when you will say it, they probably will be happy like you (maybe after the astonishment). Think to say "hey we are going to spend a week in the wild country, fishing, sleeping in the tents, talking around the fire, and we have the occasion to find new friends"! If you will be exited at the idea to leave, and will remain happy and excite the days after, probably they will be as you. remember: emotions and smiles are contagious. Can be happy only the family with one happy person inside, at least. ByeBye.:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDC Posted January 15, 2012 Author Share Posted January 15, 2012 Thanks for the advice everyone. We managed to tell my parents today, which was, as I'm sure it is for everyone, horrible and heartbreaking. Taking their only grandchildren to the other side of the world is not an easy thing to do, and not something we are doing lightly. I do feel like a weight has been lifted now that they know - even if they probably won't forgive me! We have to do a couple of things for the final pieces to fall into place, and then we plan on telling the kids. We have always mentioned it as a possible, as all their cousins are in Oz, and we will keep upbeat about it, treating it as an adventure. I'm sure we are in for more tears but I think we're on our way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zara283 Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 Good Luck PDC!!!! We told our parents ages ago when we decided we were defo going to make the move. My OH his family were fine with it & all for it, mine different. My mum won't talk about it much & if we do she doesn't comment she just listens, my step father is convinced that I will still be here for the next new year & wants me to commit to a family holiday then, I have explained that we may not be, once the visa's are through we will be off. My sisters have cried several times, my brothers are the only ones excited about it. Families are a nightmare. I am telling my 5year old son in the next couple of weeks. Myself & my OH decided to leave it till a couple of other things are sorted & then I can do it. Unfortunatly I have to do it with my son's father so it comes from Mummy & Daddy first. It is a nightmare because I no the potential things that he could say which could make the whole situation bad. So I have to plan it at the right time to tell my son. Every person's situation is slightly different. So long as your happy about the move & everyone can see it, my feeling is they will come around eventually & point out the good things of what they can do when they visit & the opportunities. Show them pictures of possible of where you might be living etc. It all helps :chatterbox::cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.