Head all over the place Oz v Uk

[mcmillsa]

3 years in Oz been great but have been wanting to go back for a while esp since i found out my dad's cancer had returned and now his treatment isn't working. I returned to see him in March and didn't want to come back here. My husband very happy living here but has agreed to return but would like to get citizenship in a year but now we may not have time to wait. We have excellent jobs here financially better off than we were in the UK, lovely home (that's gone up for sale) kids happy am scared of what we will return to in the UK:confused:. I need to go back to spend time with my dad, do I split the family up for now? Daughter 15, in year 10 how will she fit into schooling again there and son who hates cold. Anyone else been in this position? Don't also want to regret leaving here and not be able to return i know we wouldn't if we could have our lifestyle we have here in the UK meaning financially don't want to be struggling.

[sadsmile23]

Hi, just wanted to say I understand completely how you must feel. We moved over in November 2008, knowing that my mums cancer was terminal and we may not have the chance to see her again - it was the most difficult decision I have ever made, probably buried my head in the sand a little thinking " she will be ok, shes a fighter". Five months later, I had the call I was dreading - my mum had deteriorated and it was time to return home; sadly by the time my flights were booked, literally an hour after that first call, my mum had passed away never getting the chance to see her grandkids one last time, and robbing me of the chance to say goodbye.

It must be desperately hard for you, knowing that your dads time is coming to an end, but I will now ask you a really hard question (and I apologise for being so blunt) - what happens when he is gone? Would you still feel that pull to the UK, or has it been pushed to the front of your mind because of his condition? If your life here in Oz is going well for you and your family then you must try (hard as it is) to keep that as your focus too. It is harsh to say, but a few years down the line you will still have your children and their future to think of and your dear dad will be a wonderful part of your life who sadly is no longer with us, other than in your memories and your heart. Your dad would not want you to give all that up for him ( I know my mum didnt).

If you can, go home, be with your dad and spend some happy (and sad) final time with him, tell him all those things you want him to know, take photos and special letters from his grandchildren and just treasure him for what time he has left.

Take care, whatever difficult decision you make xx

[Conniebygaslight]

3 years in Oz been great but have been wanting to go back for a while esp since i found out my dad's cancer had returned and now his treatment isn't working. I returned to see him in March and didn't want to come back here. My husband very happy living here but has agreed to return but would like to get citizenship in a year but now we may not have time to wait. We have excellent jobs here financially better off than we were in the UK, lovely home (that's gone up for sale) kids happy am scared of what we will return to in the UK:confused:. I need to go back to spend time with my dad, do I split the family up for now? Daughter 15, in year 10 how will she fit into schooling again there and son who hates cold. Anyone else been in this position? Don't also want to regret leaving here and not be able to return i know we wouldn't if we could have our lifestyle we have here in the UK meaning financially don't want to be struggling.

 

Hi there did you want to go back before your Father was taken ill? If you have a really good life here then maybe you should stay. It depends on what is important to you, if that is financial security and having the nice house etc then resentment could set in.

 

We left a beautiful big old house in the UK-financial security etc to come here to be near family (Aussie Husband) but we just miss the UK too much and are returning. We have to start again, but we can't stand being here, we do not belong here even though we love the family we have here and are returning to no family in the UK.

 

When a family member is ill it does put a different perspective on things but you also have your immediate family to consider and of course yourself. Don't feel guilty for being away from your Father (easier said than done),base your decision on how you feel a family unit.

 

We don't like living here at all but others do and you see to have made a good life that you enjoy only you an work out if it's enough:hug:

[mcmillsa]

Thanks for replies, I just miss alot about home also but I do realise I will miss alot of Australia too. Have stayed too long, now putting things in place to return.

Really miss the locality of everything over there do feel like we are sort of out of it here. I won't put the family in an uncertain situation I will return on my own for a while to spend time with my dad, hopefully the house will sell so we can move back with some financial security. We may be better off here but we work much harder and longer hours and are too tired half the time to talk to each other. Sick of travelling never drove so much I used to walk everywhere. I do feel sad for the kids when they are happy here but am sure they will be happy to be with family again.

[mcmillsa]

Thanks for replies on a positive note it is good to have had a positive experience of living in Australia when alot of people would of liked to have done it but couldn't. UK is my home and where we will return to if its now or in a year. I will miss Oz without a doubt.