Guest Julz Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Not sure what to do for the best. We excitedly moved here in October 2009 in the hope of a new and better life for ourseloves and the kids. The harsh reality has now sunk in and think we have made a huge mistake. I'm sick of the sight of the sun, life here is boring me, husband is working long hours, tv is crap, everything seems expensive and my kids (aged 5, 2 and 2) are missing their grandparents not to mention I'm missing them too. My husband who is defence is going to Iraq in September for 8 months and I'm not sure what is the best thing to do. Basically we've got 3 options:- 1) Husband gets out of contract and pays back travel and removal expenses - not going to happen as we want to keep what savings we have and he will earn tax free wages for 8 months while in Iraq. 2) I move back to UK in the summer before schools return and live with father in law until I find somewhere to live and furniture arrives - does anyone know what the situation is with regards to benefits and council housing after I return? 3) Stick it out until 2012 and we all move back together. We live in a lovely brand new rented house but it's just not home. Option 2 is so appealing to me as all my family will be close to help out and I may even be able to get a part time job and move onto full time before my husband returns in 2012. However my kids would hardly see their dad and I would miss him too. I'm so undecided what to do and some advice would be greatly appreciately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Oh dear Julz, I'd say you have it hard both ways - living where you dont want to be (and Darwin is particularly hard) and DH in the ADF(??) on deployment :hug: Option 2 looks to be feasible as it will mean that there is only just over a year before your DH can rejoin you in UK - perhaps you could manage that and fit in a couple of holidays back to Aus in that time so that the kids dont miss daddy too much (they will miss him when he is deployed anyway - I dont know what communications are like these days). I guess you lose nothing by going back to see how the land lies while he is deployed and maybe then make a judgment about the next step when he returns (surely he will get a chunk of leave at that point anyway so may be able to spend time with you in UK) What does your DH think? How happy would he be for you to be in UK while he finishes up his contract here (there are a couple of families on the board who seem to be doing that and apart from the occasional volcano things seem to be going OK I think) Would he be able to transfer back to British Army (or whatever)? at the end of it? Would he want to???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest25493 Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Oh dear Julz, I'd say you have it hard both ways - living where you dont want to be (and Darwin is particularly hard) and DH in the ADF(??) on deployment :hug: Option 2 looks to be feasible as it will mean that there is only just over a year before your DH can rejoin you in UK - perhaps you could manage that and fit in a couple of holidays back to Aus in that time so that the kids dont miss daddy too much (they will miss him when he is deployed anyway - I dont know what communications are like these days). I guess you lose nothing by going back to see how the land lies while he is deployed and maybe then make a judgment about the next step when he returns (surely he will get a chunk of leave at that point anyway so may be able to spend time with you in UK) What does your DH think? How happy would he be for you to be in UK while he finishes up his contract here (there are a couple of families on the board who seem to be doing that and apart from the occasional volcano things seem to be going OK I think) Would he be able to transfer back to British Army (or whatever)? at the end of it? Would he want to???? i have sent you a message..i am an adf wife as well, in sydney.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Not sure what to do for the best. We excitedly moved here in October 2009 in the hope of a new and better life for ourseloves and the kids. The harsh reality has now sunk in and think we have made a huge mistake. I'm sick of the sight of the sun, life here is boring me, husband is working long hours, tv is crap, everything seems expensive and my kids (aged 5, 2 and 2) are missing their grandparents not to mention I'm missing them too. My husband who is defence is going to Iraq in September for 8 months and I'm not sure what is the best thing to do. Basically we've got 3 options:- 1) Husband gets out of contract and pays back travel and removal expenses - not going to happen as we want to keep what savings we have and he will earn tax free wages for 8 months while in Iraq. 2) I move back to UK in the summer before schools return and live with father in law until I find somewhere to live and furniture arrives - does anyone know what the situation is with regards to benefits and council housing after I return? 3) Stick it out until 2012 and we all move back together. We live in a lovely brand new rented house but it's just not home. Option 2 is so appealing to me as all my family will be close to help out and I may even be able to get a part time job and move onto full time before my husband returns in 2012. However my kids would hardly see their dad and I would miss him too. I'm so undecided what to do and some advice would be greatly appreciately. Really feel for you Julz -Can't offer any advice but 2012 is a long time away and beautiful new house or not......really hope you work it out- we're just over 3 months in and Arghhh!!!!:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chloew Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 If it was me, and my husband was going to work in Iraq for 8 months - I would go home to be near my family. You will need their support and if you are unhappy now then imagine what you will be feeling when your husband isn't there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 You seem to be swaying for option 2 ... so if you're all happy with it do that, you'll have familiarity and family around you and will probably be happier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uknozgirl Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Do what ever makes you happy, good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sioux Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Sorry you are feeling bad. OH will be away whichever country you are in. You mentioned a part time job in UK..any chance of a part time job in OZ? That would pass a few hours away in adult company. I know childcare is cheap(ish) in WA . Maybe worth putting kids in childcare and have some you time IF you can earn the fee, cost of travelling etc and a bit extra for you. Whatever you decide be happy. Dont regret your decision, it was right at the time. x x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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