Guest amillionsmiles Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I emigrated from the UK to Australia with my Mum and siblings when I was 17. Stayed in Oz until I was in my mid twenties and went back to the UK for travel and work. Most of my ten years has been spent in London but I have travelled extensively which has been brilliant:biggrin: My Mum, sister brother and nieces and nephews are in Oz along with an Aunt/Uncle and cousin so I always knew that at some stage I would need to come back to Oz to settle! I tried to do that 2 other times with complete failure as the longer I stayed in the UK the more I felt it was where my home was. Now my dilemma is that for the third time I have come back to Oz to try again now I am getting older. I have rented out my flat in London (due to the property market could not sell it) and brought my life back to Oz. I have been here since June but all I want to do is to head back to the UK. But my great family are here in Oz who I miss terribly, and I miss out on my nieces and nephews growing up. I have made a deicison to go back to the UK but have delayed my flight by another month as leaving will be heart wrenching. I am 37 and feel like I need to 'settle' down and put down some roots but there is a sense of panic that living back in Australia will limit me. Being away for so long I dont have long term friends here in Oz they are all in the UK along with my Dad. It is such an intensely emotional process, and while I am trying to think practically about my future, I just cant. One moment going back to the UK is the right thing for me to do now, the next spending so much time with my family here make me reconsider and I am driving myself bonkers.:arghh: My family here and in the UK are so supportive so I am very lucky, I am single with no children and no responsibility to anyone else but me but all the same what if I make the biggest mistake of my life. I only left the UK 7 months ago so I dont have the rose tinted glasses problem, but maybe just maybe if I stayed longer in Oz my feelings about the place might change. Help!! So sorry for such a long post, but I would love to hear from people in the same position as I dont know anyone that has faced the same dilemma. Amillionsmiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I emigrated from the UK to Australia with my Mum and siblings when I was 17. Stayed in Oz until I was in my mid twenties and went back to the UK for travel and work. Most of my ten years has been spent in London but I have travelled extensively which has been brilliant My Mum, sister brother and nieces and nephews are in Oz along with an Aunt/Uncle and cousin so I always knew that at some stage I would need to come back to Oz to settle! I tried to do that 2 other times with complete failure as the longer I stayed in the UK the more I felt it was where my home was. Now my dilemma is that for the third time I have come back to Oz to try again now I am getting older. I have rented out my flat in London (due to the property market could not sell it) and brought my life back to Oz. I have been here since June but all I want to do is to head back to the UK. But my great family are here in Oz who I miss terribly, and I miss out on my nieces and nephews growing up. I have made a deicison to go back to the UK but have delayed my flight by another month as leaving will be heart wrenching. I am 37 and feel like I need to 'settle' down and put down some roots but there is a sense of panic that living back in Australia will limit me. Being away for so long I dont have long term friends here in Oz they are all in the UK along with my Dad. It is such an intensely emotional process, and while I am trying to think practically about my future, I just cant. One moment going back to the UK is the right thing for me to do now, the next spending so much time with my family here make me reconsider and I am driving myself bonkers. My family here and in the UK are so supportive so I am very lucky, I am single with no children and no responsibility to anyone else but me but all the same what if I make the biggest mistake of my life. I only left the UK 7 months ago so I dont have the rose tinted glasses problem, but maybe just maybe if I stayed longer in Oz my feelings about the place might change. Help!! So sorry for such a long post, but I would love to hear from people in the same position as I dont know anyone that has faced the same dilemma. Amillionsmiles Hi Smiles, You speak as though you feel it is your 'duty' to be happy in Australia with your family. It is your happiness that counts and as you have tried to settle in Australia in the past and always ended up back in London then I think in your heart you know where you want to live, but you do not want to disappoint your family by moving back to London. When you are in London do you crave to get back to Australia.... I don’t think you do. But when In Australia you are craving to get back to London... I do not think you are ready to settle down in Australia. You may never be the type to settle here. There is nothing wrong with that, just because you have family who are happy here does not mean that you must be happy here. Go to back to London that is where your heart is, and be happy :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofyhugger Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 I'm with Colin. Home is where your heart is, and it sounds like the UK. I've lived in Australia for 35 years (I'm 39, single, no kids and no family, they passed on). It's nice here, but it doesn't feel like home, even after all of those years. Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you live somewhere, if it's not home, it's not home. You've tried twice, now a third time. Go home. Any time you miss your family in Oz, come for a holiday. Settle in the UK where you are happy. Because you live in England, it doesn't mean you can't come and visit down here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest amillionsmiles Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Thank you very much for your comments, it has helped. Being in Oz people think I am mad even contemplating leaving Oz for the Uk, or the advice is to give it at least 2 years to try and settle. The longest I have lasted is 7 months, but I figure life is just way too short. You are right I know in my heart of hearts where I belong for now, I suppose it just feels scary giving up time with my family. My Mum and sister have also never settled here in Oz but they both had/have children so that changes their options considerably, so they completely understand my reasons for not being able to settle back into aussie culture. Or perhaps I am just simply the most indecisive person ever! Thanks again for taking the time to answer my post. Tricia:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janieco Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Hi smiles, iam 45 now and came to oz when i was 10. i have never settled here and plan on going home soon. My immediate family are staying in oz but iam taking my 2 kids with me which is going to be a huge emotional wrench. I wish that i had gone home earlier to establish my life there especially prior to having kids. If oz isnt right it just isnt right, go home and enjoy hols here in oz. Best of luck, oz is just so bloody far away....i wish my parents had chosen some where alot closer to the u.k. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharmedP3 Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Well it certainly sounds like you really have tried to keep everyone else happy....even yourself, but your heart it clearly in England.... You sound like you've been lucky to do so much travelling and without any ties you will probably remain in a good position travel wise so why not resolve to visit Oz a couple of times a year if you can and see your family, whilst living and working where you want to be? I hope it works out well for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Just do what feels right for you. I am settled here in Aus but years ago I yearned to return to the UK too. Did return for a while but oh wanted to live here so here we are. With our modern world we can travel back and forth and live where we like, ok its a bit further to Aus and a b of a flight but its still only 24 hours out of our life to travel. Being the age you are I would stay put I think. I have a friend whose family lives here and she is of Spanish heritage and returned there like you did when she was younger. She married had a child and a good career there and then decided at about your age to come and live here again near her family. Lasted about two years and she returned to Europe and Spain and she just comes down to see the family for holidays now. She is very settled, divorced and loves her life in Spain. More and more families are being fragmented these days, I could go on and on telling you of others I know whose children live in the UK and family is here its the way of the world now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Go with your heart. There is nothing worse than being trapped in a place where you feel you dont belong. You have the world at your feet and no ties at the moment so embrace your freedom and fly wherever you want! You can always come back for holidays. Having family on the other side of the world isnt easy but it is do-able and so many families are quite fragmented these days that it is becoming the norm rather than the exception. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest amillionsmiles Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. It is much appreciated. Tricia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest amillionsmiles Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 That is such a brave decision to make, and I wish you much luck for your journey. You always think that moving away from you country of origin at a young age, will mean that you will adapt easily into another but it seems that is not always the case. Tricia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted December 27, 2009 Share Posted December 27, 2009 You must do what is right for you and you alone! Only you can know what is right for you adn what you want in life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest22466 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Live where YOU feel the most happy. As you do not have any children to consider just do what is right for YOU. Look at your life as a never say never situation. As your life circumstances change so may your destination in life so just go with your heart for now . Your family will just want you to be happy no matter which country you live in. I say go back to the UK and if you are still loving it stay with it. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i need stimulation Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 I emigrated from the UK to Australia with my Mum and siblings when I was 17. Stayed in Oz until I was in my mid twenties and went back to the UK for travel and work. Most of my ten years has been spent in London but I have travelled extensively which has been brilliant:biggrin: My Mum, sister brother and nieces and nephews are in Oz along with an Aunt/Uncle and cousin so I always knew that at some stage I would need to come back to Oz to settle! I tried to do that 2 other times with complete failure as the longer I stayed in the UK the more I felt it was where my home was. Now my dilemma is that for the third time I have come back to Oz to try again now I am getting older. I have rented out my flat in London (due to the property market could not sell it) and brought my life back to Oz. I have been here since June but all I want to do is to head back to the UK. But my great family are here in Oz who I miss terribly, and I miss out on my nieces and nephews growing up. I have made a deicison to go back to the UK but have delayed my flight by another month as leaving will be heart wrenching. I am 37 and feel like I need to 'settle' down and put down some roots but there is a sense of panic that living back in Australia will limit me. Being away for so long I dont have long term friends here in Oz they are all in the UK along with my Dad. It is such an intensely emotional process, and while I am trying to think practically about my future, I just cant. One moment going back to the UK is the right thing for me to do now, the next spending so much time with my family here make me reconsider and I am driving myself bonkers.:arghh: My family here and in the UK are so supportive so I am very lucky, I am single with no children and no responsibility to anyone else but me but all the same what if I make the biggest mistake of my life. I only left the UK 7 months ago so I dont have the rose tinted glasses problem, but maybe just maybe if I stayed longer in Oz my feelings about the place might change. Help!! So sorry for such a long post, but I would love to hear from people in the same position as I dont know anyone that has faced the same dilemma. Amillionsmiles to come to oz at that young age and live here for that many years and still want to go back says it all really - that is actually quite rare as far as i know, especially 3 times it's a bit like me actually - i was only 13 and funnily enough i was looking forward to it but never ever seemed to feel at home even being here from that age i went back to uk at 24 and just like that it felt right, and i just slotted in perfectly i've come back 3 years ago (i'm 35 now), and it felt the same all over again, but it's slowly getting better than before , but i'm not sure if i will stay forever, i just want to do a few things and see how things go, but thank god i'm not married with kids all the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.