Flights Booked - nerves starting :)

[ren ren]

As an Aussie living in England I have been here for almost 20 years and really like it. We have two young kids and both are in great jobs. A couple of years ago after having my youngest child I decided I wanted to return to Australia ( Sydney), to cut a long story short house went on the market - failed to sell. Just as we were giving up ( after 4 years ) we decided to take it off the market and sure enough it sold that week Since then my main thought has been HELP are we doing the right thing!!! We are not moving to Aus for a better life - we have a great one here. We are moving because I want to be closer to my parents and my other half loves me enough to give it a go!

 

I guess this post is just really a Hello to everyone, and a general question are the nerves normal? It is a huge thing moving so far away ( I guess I thought it would be easier since really I am just returning home )

 

My timeline so far: I have resigned from my job now with a month left to go ( being made harder by my boss constantly asking me if I have changed my mind...ahhh no not yet ) My other half is able to stay on working on a consultancy basis whilst we are in Aus so we have some security there should we decide to come back.

 

We have booked our flight and our shippers ( our house currently looks like a tornado has been through it - please tell me this is normal) They come two days after I finish work..should have really given myself more time there I think

 

We have told the In laws who live in England.....that went.... really well.....but kind of reinforced why I wanted to go in the first place all those years ago, but unfortunately in telling them we have probably ended any chance of a proper relationship again for our kids and their grandparents here ( their choice, not ours )

 

We have accommodation already planned for when we arrive which is one less thing to worry about!

 

My main concerns at this stage are:

My eldest (10) is really sensitive, she gets upset when she thinks about leaving her school / friends. Her last day at holiday club was awful, She found it really hard to say goodbye to everyone and really worked herself up. I am dreading her last day at school as is she. I keep reassuring her that if she is really unhappy after a set period we will return - we have assured her that she will have a say in where we end up and we have given ourselves 9 months to make that choice ( not an ideal length of time I know but we wanted to work with the school year ) - I am wondering how other people's kids of a similar age coped with such a massive move?

 

and less of a concern but something that I know will make my other half very happy is the need to find a decent curry when we get there Last time we went he kept going on about wanting a decent curry and not being able to get one! We are moving near Cronulla / Sutherland Shire area so if anyone around there can recommend one please do....I make a pretty good chicken madras but not as good as a takeaway one he says.

 

Any thoughts, comments, your experiences or just hints and tips very much appreciated.

[Gbye grey sky]

Good luck with it all. My best advice is to take a positive mindset, look forwards and not back.

 

And for heavens sake don't let a 10 year old think that she has the right of veto now or in 9 months time - I know you meant well but that could return to bite you big time. Our daughter was 11 when we made the move. She didn't want to go and probably would not have settled if she had thought it was going to be temporary and she could just say the word and we would return. We were ruthless and told her it was a one-way ticket. Within a few months she had made friends here and has never looked back. She has long since stopped skyping her UK friends which is a little sad but at that age particularly you move on.

[Captain Roberto]

Hey

 

There's no easy way. Saying bye to school friends is very tough, we just did it twice in 2 years, although the 1st move was a big one from Wales to North Shore Sydney, and the second move was just a 25k move east across to the Northern beaches. Kids do get upset, and the build up is generally worse than the aftermath. Sounds like you are already into it, so just keep trucking on.

 

They are usually fine after a while. There's no quick fixes. The hard stuff, you just get through it.

 

If your kid likes doing stuff outdoors more she may find that life is generally better. We think there's more for our 3 to do, ways to participate in stuff and get busy. It's usually sports based, but that's no bad thing. They make friends in all those places. Nippers etc. I'm sure you know all this from your own youth so you won't need me to say! We think they spend more time outside, moving about, and less time sat about watching TV.

 

Our experience has shown us that your lifestyle depends on where you live. Our previous neighbourhood was great for adults to make money and get in and out of the city, but less useful for kids. Where we are now it's the other way round. There's loads to do, but the bus into the CBD is a bit of an ass-pain.

 

Good luck!

[Captain Roberto]

I have friends near Cronulla and they love it. Plenty to do, beaches, National Park, train line. I reckon she'll like it there (depending on what she is into etc)

[Guest]

I do tend to agree with the above about not allowing your 10 year old to have that kind of say over such a big move. Especially within a 9 month timeframe. We were still finding our feet at the 9 month mark and it took a good couple of years for it all to fall into place although we were very happy from the off but still had things to overcome.

 

Your 10 year old could really just set her mind to it she isn't going to like it, not enjoy it or give it a decent go and simply be miserable and thus having you hightailing it back. And knowing that she could be moving back would be unsettling also. Its a move, give it a go and find out for yourselves in your own time as to if its right for you or not. Be that a year, 2 years or a bit longer, don't set a timeframe on it per se. That puts so much added pressure on you. You need to take time to build a life in Aus and many struggle if they spend too much time Skyping or hankering over who or what they left instead of putting their time into giving their new home a go. I purposely don't skype much with family and friends for that reason. If I did talk to them a lot I'd get nothing done here and life would grind to a halt. And that isn't what I want or need. So we have our occasional chats, emails and FB and so on but we all get on and live our lives in the meantime.

 

I'm married to an Aussie and we returned with our son after my husband had spent 8 years in the UK with me. It was honestly the best move we have made and we have made a few. But we never set a time limit on the move, always looked at it a bit more organically and were prepared to take the rough with the smooth and accepted that the first year or two might not be the easiest but if we felt we were in the right place for us all, then we would work through those things, same as we have always done. 3 plus years on and I don't give the UK a second thought. Son is happy as anything in school, we have a lovely home and enjoy our lives here.

 

We don't do the whole goodbye thing. More of a see you later type. I think it can be whatever you want it to be in terms of highly emotional or more low key. We left mid week during the school term, had a bit of a leaving BBQ a few weeks before so we didn't have the emotion at the last minute or cause upset for our son and just viewed the trip as an adventure and looked forward to that not dwelling on what we were leaving.

[Bungo]

It sounds like your nerves are of the perfectly normal type rather than the really deep reservations which we sometimes see and I personally don't think people should ignore. You have good reasons for wanting to try this out, your husband is on board, it all sounds promising to me so far.

 

I strongly agree that it was unwise to tell a 10 year old that she can come back if she doesn't like it. I would try to back track from that if you can. Better to tell her you are going and any agreement about how long you should try things out should be between you and your husband only. That, by the way, is something that I always recommend a couple does.

 

Finally no my house did not look like a tornado had been through it. It looked exactly the same as it always did, the the packers arrived and then it was empty. But we all do things differently. :wink:

[Quoll]

Never burn bridges unless you have to - take career breaks rather than quitting. You've already sold your home so you've burned that bridge. As for moving back whence you came - don't think of it as that, think of it as moving forward. Chances are you're going to have to start over with friends and social connections. Hopefully you have got your UK citizenship by this time because if you haven't, I would be delaying leaving until you've got it - without it, getting back in can be tricky, should you need to. If it works you win, if it doesn't, you move on, nothing is forever!

 

I agree with the above, don't give your 10 year old the power to make family decisions - she will be fine if she thinks she had to get on with it / obviously you keep a watchful eye but don't promise something you aren't prepared to deliver!

 

As for the goodbyes - yup, I'm a "See ya later" kinda gal too, much easier that way.