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Trying to make that tough decision. ...


Cazza1404

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I think what you are experiencing is quite normal, having children connects us with our own families and childhoods and it is natural to want to be back there if it was a good experience.

 

The tricky thing is knowing whether the fantasy will be matched by the reality & actually a 6 week holiday can make it even harder to know. A lot of people experience when they go back for a holiday that everyone is delighted to see them, chores and regular commitments are put to one side and of course you're not working, have a bit of money to spend etc. and everyone has a wonderful time. So in your mind that's exactly what it would be like if you moved back and the reality for some people is that life has moved on for everyone whilst they were away - & 10 years is a long time & they don't quite fit back in. The reality is you can never go back, it will be different than it was before - knowing whether that is something better than you have is the difficult part.

 

I spent 5 years in Australia, illness was a significant part of my decision, not quite as serious as other people on this thread but i was diagnosed with RA and put on a strong cocktail of drugs including a chemotherapy drug. It made travel difficult as with my immune system suppressed I picked up anything going. on a trip back to the UK I ended up hospitalised and that was really the turning point in moving back (it honestly hadn't crossed my mind before then). Rather than having a great time on holiday, I had the worst time ever but I had people around me truly caring in a way that I didn't in Australia.

 

It's the 'who would I call at 3am?' question and in Australia I really had no-one.

 

If your husband doesn't want to go then it makes it much harder - sadly I have seen a number of marriages break up on these pages and many more brought to the brink. I tend to think the home country should take presidence if one person isn't happy after migrating but after 10 years Australia really is your home country and I think you need to approach it as you would if you fancied moving somewhere completely new - what the costs and benefits are to you all as a family.

 

On the practical side, school will be no problem although you will have to either pay a premium to live in a catchment area of a good school (that even then doesn't have to take you if they are full) or pay much, much higher fees for a private school than you would in Australia. My son was 10 when we moved back and just this week he said how easy it had been to make friends because he was different because he had an Australian accent - that tends to be a common experience.

 

We consider renting out our house for a year just to be sure but the stress is probably not worth it, we rented out a house in the UK and our experience there probably coloured our view but if after a year you didn't want to move back selling it from the other side of the world wouldn't be plain sailing and it would be devalued by being on the rental market. We decided it was just a house and if we decided to move back we'd buy another one - or even build the same one somewhere else since we designed it!

 

Weather - I'm not sure I can cope with another PIO debate on that here! Of course you'll get wonderful crisp Autumn days, you'll also get grey wet and windy ones! Overall I probably prefer the weather in Scotland to Perth but it's a toss up.

Great advice

 

I understand your comment about the hassle of renting our house out here, makes sense. Also, there is no one I would call at 3am here, and no one I would ask to mind my kids in an emergency without feeling really bad. Big things to think about.

 

Your perpective is real, there will be crappy days wherever you are and struggles. I agree there is no 10/10 place on earth, I guess it's just what components are important to you. I think my number 1 is the belonging and the old, true connections.

 

I know 10 years is a long time but i have kept in close contact with several mates where i know i would slot back in. My mum is great mates with their mums, have been all our lives so all us kids are really tight. Different for my partner, he's rom a different part of the city and feels his old connections just aren't there.

 

Thank you

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England is England ...still too much traffic ...crap weather ,but getting better ....overcrowded ...too many people not enough houses ....BUT all in all ,with a few quid in your pocket ,and living in a decent area ,probably the bed country in the world to live .

 

No extremes of weather

I don't have to drive 30 mins for a bottle of milk or a beer .

 

NHS is very good ,if not pushed to the limit .

 

Area dependent ...but education is good.

 

I live in the west midlands ,so sun and sea is out of the question ...BUT...birmingham airport is only 15 mins from me ...

 

No 10 out 10s ....but everything In the u.k scores

 

Life is pretty good

 

 

Nice to hear! We will be moving back to Birmingham early next year after 7 years in Melbourne... Hope you don't mind me asking how do you find solihull? In regards to Traffic and access to the city centre etc...

 

I am originally from Great Barr, however have been looking at rentals around Solihull,Mosley or Sutton Coldfield. Renting in these areas seems quite high though. ...

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ItI don't think either of us would entertain the idea of going back even for a holiday. It just seems too distant now. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally

 

Great way of putting it. Never once considered returning to Perth for a holiday, and never would.

 

For holidays, Greece, Italy, Spain & Portugal ticks the right boxes and all are just a short flight away.

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