Guest melissa Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 Hi eveyone! Thank you all for your responses, it really does help in the bid to remain calm and adult about the situation. We sat Josh down this morning and said that we had heard through various people that he was not going to come to Oz with us. We asked if this was how he felt and said that he really needed to speak to us about it if he had decided he was not coming. He is adamant that he wants to stay here, so we have asked him what his plans are (my mum is plan A), pointed out he needs a plan B (which seems to be renting a flat), pointed out he will not be earning enough, (plan C is now a room in a shared house - still tight on the money), pointed out he will probably have to take a second job, at this point he was not looking too cheerful... We have also told him that once everyone finds out he wants to stay, they will all be asking him why, so he had better work out his justifications for his decision. We think he will be surprised by the amount of people who think he is mad not to go - we have said he only needs to come for 2 years get his PR confirmed and then he can do what he likes... At the moment he has agreed to come when we go, for 2 weeks to validate and then return to uk. Thing is we have tried to treat him like the adult he wants to be, then he went off with his mate to the South Bank to skate all day, then returned at the time we said (6pm) - looking good we thought - then when his mate went home he cheerfully told me Josh was upstairs dyeing his hair red! EXCEPT - it was MY hair dye he had helped himself to without even asking (insult to injury as he wasted his time and my dye - it was a semi-permanent which will not work on his hair without pre-lightening - AND HE WANTS TO BE A HAIRDRESSER????!!!!!!) & he decided to rinse it off in his ensuite bathroom, which has 2 rolls of underlay in the bath awaiting the carpet fitter, who is coming at 8am tomorrow morning to lay now very wet and red tinged underlay... And this is the boy who is adult enough to stand on his own two feet and make his own decisions... At this rate he may not live long enough to even vaildate his visa... Mel x May l just add, my problems pale in comparison to the lady with the 15 year old & the horrendous X - what the XXXX is the school doing in allowing him to take her home???? At least Josh has had the meds and will come to vaildate the visa, which will at least keep his options open, perhaps long enough for him to change his mind. It is such a difficult age & l speak as one who left home against a stormy background when l was 16 myself, so l have seen both sides of the coin, & l can honestly say it looks pretty grim from both sides. You know where we all are when you need a bit of moral support - just give us a shout! Mel xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest melissa Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 hi melissa, im sian, mike and sharons daugter, im nearly 16 and im finishing m GCSE's this year too, we are moving to perth in august time this year. i can see how frustrated you feel, my little sister goes through phases of wanting to go and not wanting to go, and im all up for it. so i can see where your coming from, but i can also see where your son is coming from, he has his wole life here and he's content with it, and by the sounds of things he has a few things to look forward to here. personaly if i was in your sons position the last thing i would want is for m parents to do things beind m back, when it involves my future and turns my present worl up side down. but thats just my opinion. why not encourage your son to make a profile on here, and let him get an idea for himself. Hi sian thanks for your reply, and good luck with your exams & your big move. frustrating thing is, he knows what it is like out there, as we spent 3 weeks out there, we stayed with family, went to the rainforest and took him scuba diving on the barrier reef etc etc & he had the time of his life, at the time he was begging us to go and live out there. End of the day, we can't make him do something he doesn't want to, any parent who thinks they can is deluded, after all everyone has to live their life as they choose, and if that does not fit what we think is probably best for him, then there is not a lot we can do, except encourage him to keep as many of his options open as possible, for as long as possible. Oh the joys of being an adult - enjoy youself while life is simple! Mel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I like the idea of getting your son to fend for himself whilst you're still here so that you can see how he'll cope - after having to make his tea everynight - he might change his mind!! Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest melissa Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 I like the idea of getting your son to fend for himself whilst you're still here so that you can see how he'll cope - after having to make his tea everynight - he might change his mind!! Ali Hi Ali Yes so do l - he will now be doing his own washing and ironing in preparation, l can't tell you as a full time working mum of 2, the pleasure that gives me knowing my washing and ironing is about to reduce by about 35%, as he frequently wears 2 pairs of socks at a time and a T shirt under his school shirt every bloody day - oh the joy! No longer that plaintive cry on a Friday night of, " What do you mean the clothes l have left on my bedroom floor all week are not clean and ready to wear??" Mel (mind you he will probably weld half his clothes to the bottom of the iron before he gets the hang of it!):err: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KazzE Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Hi peeps, I got my DD (18) to go and talk to the people at Connextions to give her a reality check and to try to put some perspective on the big move, they said a lot of what I had been saying to her about my concerns, not having the emotional support, how hard it will be being at Uni and supporting herself, how different this is to living at home etc Did not make her change her mind but did make her think more carefully about her decision. In your positions I would try very hard to get your kids to at least go on your visa application and validate so that they have the choice if they change thier minds as they are apt to do. ((((HUGS)))) and GOOD LUCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tigerfan Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 omg i thought we'd had it rough!!!!he sounds like a total loser.thing is what sounds great to her now,living with someone who obviously has no rules and complete disregard for the law,might not be so great when she actually has to do it.might be worth backing off to save your relationship with her but let her know you'll be there if she needs you.if you come out and she then decides she does want to be here with you you can maybe work it as a last remaining relative and get her a visa that way. i really feel for you and hope everything works out for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Lol Mel... make sure the batteries in the smoke detector are working Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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