Guest DebsnGaz Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hi We have found ourselves in a similar position, ive remarried have a 11yr old son from a previous marriage my hubby has been offered a sponsorship with the company that he works for now who are also in OZ. We had to get a stat dec form 1229 signed by my ex who incidently sees his son once a week no more no less no holidays no effort basically. He refused so i had to contact a solicitor we are at the point now that i have just had to submit a full statement which included info on schools, living accommodation, support network, indirect/direct contact with Dad and any provision for return to UK. Cafcass have been told to prepare their report as well. We have already been to Australia to Feb of this year and did our homework, as the solicitor says they are no guarantees in life but courts do realise that contact can be kept via MSN webcam, emails, mobile phones etc. All we can do at minute is sit and wait , fingers crossed hopefully we will be successful. If all else fails at least i know i have tried to get to that fantastic country to lead a far better life for me and my family... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest smoggieswilltravel Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Hi I'm new to this site and like most of you in the same horrible situation. I have a nearly 14 yr old daughter who has has never known her birth father as he abandoned us when I was pregnant. He is Austrain so does not even live in the UK. I have tried and tried to get a Stat Dec signed and he just egnores me. We are now going through adoption procedures as social services and our lawyer agree that if there has been no contact for the last (4 years) this is the uk law, they consider it a case of abandonment. The problem is that my OH has been offered a really good position in Brisbane on a 457 visa which we understand can go through quite quickly. The adoption court date should be soon but possibly not soon enough to go through with all the paper work for the visa. I was advised to write a stat dec myself and get it signed by the solicitor which I have done, but I so nervous that this will not be enough. So my question is, these 'court orders', where do I contact to get the right papers, and how long does he whole thing take. I was married to the birth father but given sole custody. Any help wold be great as I'm literally having nightmares about it, I can't beleive that my memory can be so vivid after 14 years, yuk. Any help would be great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DebsnGaz Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 Hi I contacted a solicitor, but apparantly if the father's name is not on the birth certificate then he doesnt hold parental responsibility so therefore you dont need his permission, whoever is applying for the visa for you should have some information also. Its worth getting a free half hour advice from a solicitor who will let you know whether you actually need his permission anyway due to the fact that you have been given sole custody Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tasadin Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 Hiya my understanding is you need a form C1 available form the families section at your local county court. You can fill that in and go from there but if you have been awarded sole custody and have the papers to prove it I don't see why you should have to go to court again as your ex no longer has parental responsibility. But as someone else said you should go for the 30mins free legal advice with a solicitor or contact the childrens legal council here - I did they were excellent but ring and leave a message dont email as they seem to come back to you quicker. One thing they did point out to me is that stat decs are fine but technically the other partner can change their mind at the 11th hour and the stat dec is no longer valid in the eyes of the law, I think a court would definately see that as them being awkward but I dont reckon its worth the risk. Try these I'd strongly recommend them: http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WelshDebzs Posted March 24, 2008 Share Posted March 24, 2008 Hey Just to say once you move the child to Oz ex is not required to pay maintance my hobby's ex tried that one can u change it around and say he doesnt have to pay if he lets u move... And just be careful when u go to court my OH was awarded 3 wks staying contact every summer hols where his ex has to bring his daughter back to the UK at her expense... Mind u his ex did turn around and say his daughter didnt need him once she was out there!! I have to tell my sons dad that we are going on a student visa hmmm not looking forward to that but hopefully we can resolve it out of court fingers crossed... Debsx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest now a mum&skint Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Im glad I found this thread, looks like my dream is dashed, my ex will never give permission, and as Im still a single parent, he will be able to say its too uncertain and insecure a future on childcare issues to start with..........gutted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheezie Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 hi, hope u dont mind me emailing you. not sure where you are at but it is worth pursuing. i was in same position as you. my ex said he was going to challenge me taking our son. if you are main provider to your child and can prove he/she will have a better life then the court will favour you as you are the mum. i composed a huge file with info on certain areas i had researched. was up crack of dawn calling schools to confirm my child would have place. do you have job lined up? All helps. Wheezie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest now a mum&skint Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Thanks for your reply, Im in a predicament, Im using a nursing agency who will arrange a job and visas etc., but in order for me to apply for the visa, as you know, my sons father will have to give his consent, so I cant even begin the application, but most people I have mentioned to, have suggested leaving his consent to the last possible minute........Im so lost and feel very defeated before Ive begun the process properly. I just know hes going to make it as difficult as possible, thats if he doesnt manage to stop me completely. yet, if he wanted to do this, he could, no probs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzy+1 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 If you are going on a sponsored 457 visa they can take 8-12 weeks to be completed but going to court will be a longer process- i have read from other people on here. I would get onto that 1st. Its definatly worth doing and you have alot of things in your favour for gaining permission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest now a mum&skint Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Thanks hunny,xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheezie Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 Hi, as your friends said proceed with the visa, dont put that on hold. my ex dragged his heels so much and in the end the solicitors both knew there was a deadline and had to get it sorted by then. immigration gave us lots of extensions too until it was sorted. Have you seen a solicitor yet? start the ball rolling. if you are a single mum you may qualify for legal aid although not sure what system in scotland like. you are in a good position if you have a job sorted though. dont give up though. in end i had to pay all legal costs of my ex and we had a days battle in court. but he had been told and i told too that he wouldnt be able to contest. but we still had to have a huge contact order in place. yes it was hell and very stressful. but we are here in Aus now. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest now a mum&skint Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I'll get on the case, my cousin has just completed her law degree and says he definately cant stop me, but it will be hell during the process and my ex could become even more nasty!!!..........o joy!!! Well, 'nothing worthwhile ever comes easy', does it? Will keep you kind and helpful folks updated on my progress, wish me luck, Im sure going to need it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest michelle&alan Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 reply to mikeansel! snap!! i have 2 children from previous relationships, one is now 16 and has never had any regular contact with his father , but has recently started seeing him on occasions , i have spoken to his dad and he says that he is happy to sign anything to let his son have this opportunity. so everything ok there. the biggest problem were having at the mo is my middle son who is 11 in a couple of weeks .:arghh: weve been considering our move to oz since feb 2007 and thats when we started ball rolling, when we told my son he was absolutely chuffed to bits , he`s a keen surfer and thought it would be brilliant to go , but within a couple of weeks once his dad knew he changed his mind completely ,saying he couldnt surf over there because of the sharks ! and that they`ve got spiders and snakes so he couldnt even go out and play ! ( all words of his dads im sure) my only worry is that when we apply for a court order ,( ive been told the cafcass officers get involved ) my son will convince them that he doesnt want to go and we lose. as much as i wouldnt want to leave him behind ,:cry: i also dont want his father putting end to our future plans which been working on for far too long now. i have said that if the courts decide that he lives with his dad we will still be going and much to my dissapionted my son just said " thats fine", im hoping that if for some reason we dont get to take him with us it will only be a few weeks after weve gone that he will realise that its not so great to live with dad full time, it wont be treats all the way now he `s got to take care of him. his dad has never payed maintenance, doesnt contribute to school dinners or school uniform, doesnt let him have any toys or clothes from his house to come to ours, he sees him every friday and every other week he stays over and comes home on saturday evening ( in his school uniform) im gonna contact solicitors next week to try and get it to court a.s.a.p will keep ypu updated on my progress! michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Guys, I know how you all feel. I have just had the cafcass officer at my house getting my consent for the step parent adoption we've been trying for for the past 18 months+. Thought we'd have had it all done and dusted by now but this country is politically correct to the point of madness:arghh: The fact that a social worker has already made contact with the birth father and he then subsequently disappeared counts for nothing! The court are insisting on further attempts to trace him!!! I wouldn't mind but he's had no contact for the past 7 years (his choice). Sooooo frustrating, and it's now getting very close to the time we should be lodging the 457. Just hope it comes through quickly. Rant over:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest funkyfairy Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I am so glad I found this thread I have been wondering what to do about my 12yr old daughter. I haven't had any contact from her biological dad for 4 years after a nasty court battle where he applied for visitation but she refused to see him ( he forced his way into our house and beat me in front of her). He eventually gave up his fight as he said it cost him too much, we dont know where he is, would I be better applying straight to the court or do I need to try and find him I dont want another court trial as it cost me 6grand the last time. any help would be brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gothicqueen Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 at risk of sounding like thebad guy here, I cant help but feel for some of the parents who are loosing their kids. OK the ones that dont have contact,pay maintenance etc, why should they get a say in where the kids are, but what about the ones who see the kids every week or even once a fortnight. We all want a better life for our kids, but imagine how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot, say your ex decided to go abroad and wanted to take the child with them.................... god Id be devastated, or if yur child said actually mum Id rather stay here with my dad. I know all cases are different, and all ex's arent perfect parents and what have you, but even if they only get minimum contact with the child (not always their choice either) they are still their kids and god it must hurt like hell for them to taken away. Im sorry if this offends anyone, but everytime I read one of these threds I always think of the other parent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest funkyfairy Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 I do agree with you on that, I think if my little one still saw her biological dad then I really dont think I could take her away, I do ask her every few months if she would like me to find him so she can meet up with him but I always get the same reply " mum, I see my dad( my OH) all the time he is the only one I have". I know I would be heartbroken if it was the other way around. I think it is easier for me due to my circumstances my ex knows he has to repay all the maintanence if he does take me back to court for visitation, I would never object it is the little one who done all the objecting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shazney64 Posted September 26, 2008 Author Share Posted September 26, 2008 Just wanted to update you all as i wrote the original thread over year and half ago. We did eventually gain permission to remove my son. But nevertheless was a very painful experience for all parties. My son has a great relationship with his dad. Has been very difficult throughout the years to maintain mind!!! However needs must and those were the needs of my son to maintain the relationship. It would of been so much easierfor me to try and not work it out with his father in the short term.But not for my son. The judge heard all the facts though and felt that in my sons best interests the move should go ahead. Although the judge did have faith that every thing possible would be done by all parties to ensure that his realtionship would be maiantained as best as we could. There were many tears and i would hate the shoe to be other foot and always had that in mind along with my sons best interests. Dont think for one min that the decision to move accross the other side of the world can be taken lightly as there is so much effort needed to make the move. Wishing you all every success in your chosen paths and good luck with your future sharon xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mrsmcgoo Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Good luck - yes I had to get permission in writing from husband and had to show the documents at the airports to prove I wasnt kidnapping the children - they were both still under 16 at the time. I had to sign all sorts of agreements re- visiting/maintenance etc.. but worth it to get out of the UK with the boys. Hope all works out for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mel ward Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Hi im in the same position, have you asked ex yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mel ward Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Hi im in the same position, have you asked ex yet?[ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mel ward Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 just wanted to update you all as i wrote the original thread over year and half ago. We did eventually gain permission to remove my son. But nevertheless was a very painful experience for all parties.My son has a great relationship with his dad. Has been very difficult throughout the years to maintain mind!!! However needs must and those were the needs of my son to maintain the relationship. It would of been so much easierfor me to try and not work it out with his father in the short term.but not for my son. The judge heard all the facts though and felt that in my sons best interests the move should go ahead. Although the judge did have faith that every thing possible would be done by all parties to ensure that his realtionship would be maiantained as best as we could. There were many tears and i would hate the shoe to be other foot and always had that in mind along with my sons best interests. Dont think for one min that the decision to move accross the other side of the world can be taken lightly as there is so much effort needed to make the move. Wishing you all every success in your chosen paths and good luck with your future sharon xxx help! Going though the same thing, advice please!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nicola123 Posted October 12, 2008 Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hi wondered if anyone can add some advice, I have three children, the two eldest who are 12 and 15 see their dad my ex husband twice a month at weekends. I have a horrible feeling that he is going to say no when I ask to take them to australia. Do you know if I have to go the court route how long it may take and what it might cost, both the boys want to go and I will make arrangements and pay for flights for them to return regularly and he can even come to visit. the thing is I can't ask him until we are nearly enough ready to go as I have parents who can't know where I am going and I think he may tell them very complimented and very very stressful. If anyone can offer some advise will be very grateful. Nicola x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shazney64 Posted October 12, 2008 Author Share Posted October 12, 2008 Hiwondered if anyone can add some advice, I have three children, the two eldest who are 12 and 15 see their dad my ex husband twice a month at weekends. I have a horrible feeling that he is going to say no when I ask to take them to australia. Do you know if I have to go the court route how long it may take and what it might cost, both the boys want to go and I will make arrangements and pay for flights for them to return regularly and he can even come to visit. the thing is I can't ask him until we are nearly enough ready to go as I have parents who can't know where I am going and I think he may tell them very complimented and very very stressful. If anyone can offer some advise will be very grateful. Nicola x Hi Nicola, The court route is the option if he says no. However they may suggest mediation at first to prevent court. Some people have been on here and said they were granted leave because the father never showed up at court. Everyone has been different.Can only really make a comment on my own case. It would be best to seek advice from a family solicitor. Explaining the whole situation if you can. Pm me anytime if want a chat will help in any way . Take care sharon x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
decisions Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 HI all Have been ploughing the internet to find advice. I am acually wanting to go back to England after separating from my husband. We emigrated 7 years ago, and unfortunately things didnt work out. He has a good job here and loves australia. All my family are back in Uk and i now wish to return with massive feelings of homesickness, especially after meeting and falling in love with a lovely man from uk who has 3 of his own children here. I have 3 children 16 14 and 10. The eldest would prob wish to stay with her dadnot sure about the 14 yr old boy,the youngest would come with me. Keep beating myself up over how it might affect children but hope that they would be ok. Two parents that love them but just not together. splitting siblings up not ideal, but with cheaper flights msn and webcams I hope this would be overcome.Any thoughts or experiences greatly appreciated.:confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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