katlou Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Hi everyone, So I kind of need some advice. Ive been in Oz 6 years now in total, lived in Sydney the last 4. Came over on a WHV, then studied, then was lucky enough to get sponsored. Im probably about 6-8 months away from obtaining PR, and up until the last 6 months thought my life was going to be here in Oz. Anyway unfortunately I had a really bad run of luck for the last 6 months. Broke up with my partner of 4 years, around the same time that nearly all of my close friends one way or another left Sydney (some to return to the UK, some moved interstate) as well as losing some close friends due to the break up. Moved into a new apartment with what turned out to be a housemate from hell (she had wild parties all the time and never payed the rent, which almost led to us being evicted). As well as all this, it was winter and I became very miserable. Last week I returned from a 3 week visit to the UK, and naturally, I am now feeling extremely homesick, as it was very comforting having my close friends and family around me in the UK. Now im back in Oz I am more confused than ever, and just cant stop thinking about moving back to the UK. This is the first time in the entire 6 years that I've felt this way. But i'm confused as I dont know if I should stick it out here in Oz in case things improve, or just call it a day and go back to my family? I have no family at all out here, just a couple of close freinds remaining. In my head I know I should at least stick it out until I get my PR, but the way I feel right now I just want to be back home .... Any advice would be very much appreciated! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Making a decision right now after the bad luck you have had would be a mistake i reckon,if it was me that is anyway. You say you were happy there until recent events,so surely thats a pointer? I would wait till you get PR(as you said yourself),and see how you feel then,you might meet someone else,or you might find that time makes the break up a bit easier,either way,i wouldnt make a decision now,because recent events will cloud your judgement,if you still feel the same in 6 months i'd come home then Good luck with your decision anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Where do you see your life in 5 years, 10 yrs, 20 yrs? Can you hang on and see it still as a bit of adventure - you're half way to citizenship (not literally). If you can get that then you can come and go at will. A word of warning though, you can never go back to exactly what you had - any move is a new move from here on in. Sure, your family will be closer but you are still going to be responsible for getting yourself back into a social network which may, or may not, be the one you left. However, that said, I do reckon you know if you want to grow old and turn up your toes in Aus and if you cant see that happening then move. Good luck whichever way you jump - it sounds like you're young enough that you will have plenty of jumps left in your life so you lose nothing in the process! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
le petit roi Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I do reckon you know if you want to grow old and turn up your toes in Aus and if you cant see that happening then move. This is the acid test!! If the answer is no, the only thing for debate is when to leave. I reckon the housemates I have had over the years could give this particular 'housemate from hell' a run for their money and it's never fun. I've moved into my own rental after 3 years of house-sharing. It was sort of forced upon me to some extent by the actions of a housemate and I wish now that I had made the move sooner. When you move into a new area/city it has its advantages but there's also a lot to be said for your privacy, relaxation and piece of mind. Maybe if its affordable, moving into a small 1 bed unit would give you the time and space to make a more considered decision; it won't be forever, 6 months would probably be enough time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sydneylife Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Hi, my Australian boyfriend and I have just broke up also and I am so confused about what to do next with my life, I turned 30 a couple of months ago and the thought of starting all over again sucks to say the least, I was planning to settle here forever too but turns out I was with a guy who didn't have the same mindset. I worked in the UK for 6 years, now facing the possibility of going back-I have PR for Australia however I dont see the point in being here anymore without my boyfriend as my family are at home and I was only here for him. The most disappointing thing about moving back to the UK is that I would be giving up the most amazing job that I love to bits here in Sydney, and going back to the UK to seek work will be tough. Have you made a decision? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Hi, my Australian boyfriend and I have just broke up also and I am so confused about what to do next with my life, I turned 30 a couple of months ago and the thought of starting all over again sucks to say the least, I was planning to settle here forever too but turns out I was with a guy who didn't have the same mindset. I worked in the UK for 6 years, now facing the possibility of going back-I have PR for Australia however I dont see the point in being here anymore without my boyfriend as my family are at home and I was only here for him. The most disappointing thing about moving back to the UK is that I would be giving up the most amazing job that I love to bits here in Sydney, and going back to the UK to seek work will be tough. Have you made a decision? Take a holiday now. Give it at least six months before you make a decision about moving. Being newly single and on the job hunt are not things that go together well, the job you love just might help you to focus until you feel back on track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Hi, my Australian boyfriend and I have just broke up also and I am so confused about what to do next with my life, I turned 30 a couple of months ago and the thought of starting all over again sucks to say the least, I was planning to settle here forever too but turns out I was with a guy who didn't have the same mindset. I worked in the UK for 6 years, now facing the possibility of going back-I have PR for Australia however I dont see the point in being here anymore without my boyfriend as my family are at home and I was only here for him. The most disappointing thing about moving back to the UK is that I would be giving up the most amazing job that I love to bits here in Sydney, and going back to the UK to seek work will be tough. Have you made a decision? If you haves job that you love why chuck it in? If you aren't hating the place there's not that much reason to move - you don't have to live near your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katlou Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Hi, my Australian boyfriend and I have just broke up also and I am so confused about what to do next with my life, I turned 30 a couple of months ago and the thought of starting all over again sucks to say the least, I was planning to settle here forever too but turns out I was with a guy who didn't have the same mindset. I worked in the UK for 6 years, now facing the possibility of going back-I have PR for Australia however I dont see the point in being here anymore without my boyfriend as my family are at home and I was only here for him. The most disappointing thing about moving back to the UK is that I would be giving up the most amazing job that I love to bits here in Sydney, and going back to the UK to seek work will be tough. Have you made a decision? Hi sydneylife, No I have not yet made a decison, its something that is on my mind constantly though!! I think you are in a good position that you already have PR - That makes it easier for you to leave with the knowledge you can come back. I think it makes sense for me to wait until I get my PR before I leave..who knows, in that 6-8 months I may have a massive change of heart (summer is coming!!) and may decide to stay. However, I am also in a similar position as you in terms of my job - I have an excellent job here, which is definately a major factor on the 'reasons to stay' list. However I think you have to decide what is most important I suppose, family or career, although thats not to say you cant continue a career in the UK. Anyway it sounds like we have a lot of similar issues, and I assume you are in Sydney? So PM me if you'd like to chat more ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fizzybangs Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Hi sydneylife, No I have not yet made a decison, its something that is on my mind constantly though!! I think you are in a good position that you already have PR - That makes it easier for you to leave with the knowledge you can come back. I think it makes sense for me to wait until I get my PR before I leave..who knows, in that 6-8 months I may have a massive change of heart (summer is coming!!) and may decide to stay. However, I am also in a similar position as you in terms of my job - I have an excellent job here, which is definately a major factor on the 'reasons to stay' list. However I think you have to decide what is most important I suppose, family or career, although thats not to say you cant continue a career in the UK. Anyway it sounds like we have a lot of similar issues, and I assume you are in Sydney? So PM me if you'd like to chat more ... When you are young as you are, your career and working environment are very important and you don't have to look on it as permanent either. It is simply what you are doing at the moment and who knows where you might be in 3 years time? The world is your oyster - you could meet a Canadian guy and fall in love! Seriously, stick to your job for now, get a nice little pad of your own even if it is only one room and bathroom and get your PR and then you have choices and choices are invaluable. If you're earning good money perhaps you could see yourself going back to UK for holidays more often or else join other young people in the group holidays that are on offer. Explore Oz too whilst you're there because there are some amazing places to see and you will have some awesome experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sydneylife Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 How old are you Katlou? I have 80% made the decision to leave after Christmas because when I think about having a baby here, away from my family, and living here for ever more, it is not what I want. You may be happy to do this though and I do know a couple of irish and English girls who plan to stay here for life with partners. I am 30, and I don't want to stay here another couple of years and go home single in my 30s. I'd rather make the move now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sydneylife Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 If you are not worried about settling down, and having kids, like I am, then I would definitely stay here another few months and get your PR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest littlesarah Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 If you are not worried about settling down, and having kids, like I am, then I would definitely stay here another few months and get your PR! Personally, I'd say regardless of your feelings about where you'd want to be if you had a family, get PR. You're not going to suddenly have a baby in 6 months (unless you haven't realised you're 3 months along already!), and at least having the right to live here gives you options. I'm all for figuring out where you'd like to be and making a decision to move based on that. The stuff about family, etc is a consideration, but I personally would advise anyone not to make that their sole reason to move, because things like that don't always go how we expect - though it is important to be with someone who wants to live in the same place, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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