debbio Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I hate the thought of saying goodbye...its so final. As our move down under creeps closer and closer the goodbyes have started. I have family living all over the world and they visit for the summer so as they go back home they come to say goodbye as we may not be here next time the return. I said my first goodbye last week, but I said lets not get sad as its see you later not goodbye forever... We will have visitors and we will be home to visit at some point, whether it be for a holiday or otherwise. There will be some "see you laters" that I will cry over, there is no doubt about that, but I am trying to keep the trauma/impact on my kids to a minimum. Kids mainly understand what they see and the tears. etc communicate sadness. I want our move to be a happy experience for them. We have a very good life in the UK..and that is the main reason we are able to afford to experience a different country - how lucky are we?? It might not be forever, but its an amazing life experience for is all. I'm not saying it will be all plain sailing - but thats just life - atleast we will be together. I seen a post on here yesterday where someone was splitting their move into blocks of 2 years at a time. We are doing exactly the same and I think its easier to digest that way. We will commit to two years and if we love it we commit to another 2 year and so on, if we dont we will come back. Just wanted to share my thoughts :wubclub: Debs x x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 lots of luck with everything Debs, i think the goodbyes are probably the hardest part of the entire process so i certainly dont ever you right now. Keep focused and keep thinking of the reasons your giving this a go and the best advice i could give is DONT let anyone come to the airport with you to say goodbye, as thats really tough... Cal x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbio Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 Thanks Cal...I have no intention of letting anyone come to the airport with us x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay Dee Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Good luck to you and your family for your big move :smile: I said the exact same thing to my family and friends when we were leaving for Sydney. There's something about saying "see you later" seems less final. Been here almost 3 weeks now and the kids are loving it so that's keeping me going as I do miss everyone, however, realise just how lucky we are to be able to have this experience. Have a safe journey :smile: Kay x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FP215 Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 That sounds like a really good approach. When the goodbyes start its going to be the hardest thing, but as you say it's a see you later, there'll be visits and we're adopting a similar approach of move out for a few years and see how it goes. Thanks for sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candygirl Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Good Luck to you and your family Debs and wishing you all a safe journey. I am dreading the farewells to be honest. We have two lots. Friends in Spain and then family and friends in the UK. Everyone is conscious of the fact that we have a 19 hour flight to board and want to keep things calm for our sake. We are booked into a hotel the night before the flight so that we can have a good night's sleep and hopefully be fresh for the flight. The plan was to get a taxi to the hotel at Heathrow, but FIL is hearing none of it and wants to take us. I just hope he is OK saying au revoir (not goodbye) to his eldest son. I know my Dad copes less well than my Mum at times. I have often wondered if the other people on these flights who are not emigrating wonder why there are so many upset people boarding the planes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Counting Stars Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Hubby has been in the Army for 12 years, we've never said Goodbye when he's gone away only 'See you soon' and I love the approach Hope you are very happy and enjoy your new adventures xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incata Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 lots of luck with everything Debs, i think the goodbyes are probably the hardest part of the entire process so i certainly dont ever you right now. Keep focused and keep thinking of the reasons your giving this a go and the best advice i could give is DONT let anyone come to the airport with you to say goodbye, as thats really tough... Cal x Absolutely right. My in-laws took us and I wished we had got a taxi. However, they were fine, but my 3 year old was not. As soon as we said goodbye he howled for about 30 minutes straight (don't know how long it was but it felt a long time), until we had cleared security (when he and his little brother saw the potential for mischief). I felt awful and was really glad my mother-in-law managed not to cry until we were out of sight and earshot. It was very tough to see how upset my little lad was and it made me feel dreadfully guilty, which is not the best way to start a 24 hour flight with two toddlers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbio Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Thank you everyone... Incata my chikdren being upset is my biggest fear at the moment. It is inevitable that there will b tears though. How does ur son cope with missing grandparents? Candy girl i really like the idea of staying at a hotel over night...would give us a chance to calm ourselves before the flight and get a rest x x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neenie Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Good Luck Deb for you and your family. I have to agree, we have done the 'see you soon' with tears, I couldn't say goodbye. We have no one coming to the airport, I couldn't handle it. We still have 4 weeks before we fly, and 2 of them weeks will be spent with family and friends, our friends being the last port of call as I couldn't stay with family, our friends said they would take us to the airport, but I have said no, (part our decision and what the company flying us out have organised a night in hotel in London) so we can head to airport with no one to wave us off. There wouldn't be enough Kleenex in the world if we were being waved off at the airport! Edited to say: Just seen you are across the water from us Deb!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incata Posted July 27, 2013 Share Posted July 27, 2013 Thank you everyone... Incata my chikdren being upset is my biggest fear at the moment. It is inevitable that there will b tears though. How does ur son cope with missing grandparents? Candy girl i really like the idea of staying at a hotel over night...would give us a chance to calm ourselves before the flight and get a rest x x Hi Debbie The first few weeks were tough until he made some friends. We arrived in January and it took until April to move into our own home where we had skype (we knew we were not staying in the rental for long so did not pay for broadband - we got a phone with a wifi hotspot on it and went with lebara who include 3GB of data so we could access the internet). Before that we used to call them a couple of times a week and he and his Gran had a long chat. Now we have skype and he is allowed to call whenever he wants to talk to them (as long as it is UK daytime). In reality that always means Sunday nights, sometimes Friday nights (if he has done something really well in his swimming lesson) and very, very occasionally during the week as well. The biggest problem we had in the first few weeks was my mother-in-laws actions coming back to haunt her. In fact it took until April to solve it and make it better. She spent weeks telling my son that she was not going to come out and visit, but told him, "If you love someone you are never truly apart". Honestly, it is a bit deep for a 3 year old. All he understood was that she was not going to come and see him, and that made him very angry. Once he made friends he became happy very quickly but more and more angry at his Grandma, and he refused to speak to her because she said she would not come and see his house and he liked it. We bribed him to talk to her, the whole lot. Eventually we had to call her and explain that she had upset him by saying that she would not come out and visit (which she had completely forgotten that she said) and that she needed to do something to put it right. To her credit she took it to heart and called him the following day. The first thing she told him was how much she was looking forward to coming and seeing his new house and how she could not wait for him to show her the kangaroos. It started to sink in and his eyes lit up. For the next few calls she kept reiterating that she was going to come out and then one day he asked her directly if she was going to come and see his new bedroom. She said "Yes, she was really looking forward to it" and since then we have had very few problems. When he is over-tired or has been a bit naughty at school and been told off, we sometimes have tears in the evening. The reason always starts off with being that he misses his Grandma but after a few minutes we find out what the real problem is. He also tells us when we go to places, whether or not he would like to bring his Gran here when she comes over. He now has a mental list of places he wants to take her. So in short, skype is great for him, even if it is only for two minutes. Last week he called her at 7pm (Perth time), showed her his swimming certificate (that he had been given that afternoon), then told her he was tired and said goodnight. She got the chance to praise him and coo over the certificate and that was it. He was too tired to talk any more, but wanted her to know he had done well. In many ways, apart from the fact that we now no longer go over on the odd weekend, we actually talk to them more than we did when we were in the UK! Hope this gives you some reassurance. While it will be hard at first, it will get better very quickly! Best wishes Incata Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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