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Help how do you tell young children


Tracy Vickers

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Our kids were 4 and (just) 2 when we moved. We just showed them some pictures and videos on youtube really. Also just talked to them about the animals here and the beaches and other things that they were interested in - well the 4 year old as the 2 year old was pretty clueless about it.

I kept the 4 year old in the loop and showed him schools on the internet we were going to have a look around. He was allowed a say in the school too (as we went around 5 we were interested in on arrival).

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Our girls were 1 and 2 when we moved, so I can't speak about a slightly older child from experience, but certainly for our 2 year old, she took it all in her stride. I don't think she really clocked that anything was different. She is now 7, and doesn't remember the UK or the move at all, so with your youngest I wouldn't worry too much. Kids are pretty resilient, and providing you are organised you shouldn't have any trouble.

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We moved in December/January with our 3 and 2 year olds. Like Alaska, my youngest was just 2 and didn't have a clue. I don't think he would have been bothered where we went, as long as he was with his big brother. The eldest remembered coming out here on holiday last year so we reminded him about it, asked about the things he enjoyed doing, went through the photos and then told him we were going to come back. Although we did keep telling him we were going to live here and we thought he had understood, it did not really register until my husband started work (a couple of weeks after we arrived). Then it hit and it hit hard and we had numerous tears and tantrums about wanting to go home and not liking it here. He was particularly upset about not having any friends and was very sad about that. For me that was heartbreaking and one of the few things that brought me close to tears. Fortunately we got him in Kindy quickly and as soon as he started mentioning names of other children, I sent notes to their parents (via his teacher) and arranged play dates with them. We also got him into an after school club that has lots of activities that they get all the children involved in (thus encouraging them to make friends quickly). Between the two approaches that solved the problems very quickly.

 

Unfortunately we had some difficulties with my mother-in-law before we came. She kept telling him she would not visit and would be with him in spirit. Once he had clocked that we were staying, he refused to talk to her on skype or on the phone (and she, as his Gran, is his favourite person in the world). He told us he would not speak to her because she had been horrible and was not going to come and see his new house. Eventually we had to have a quiet chat with her about how what she had said affected him. Next time she called and we managed to get him to listen to her, she told him she was planning to come and visit, and while it took several calls to persuade him, they are now back on speaking terms (and she is planning to come out next year - he does not know yet, she is going to surprise him once she has got the flights booked!)

 

I would say it took us about 3 months to get the eldest settled effectively, but he is now very happy and only occasionally refers to his friends in the UK. We still occasionally have tears about missing his Grandma but he now (most weeks) will happily talk to her on skype. He only says he wants to go home if he is very tired and upset and has had a fight with one of his friends.

 

We've had no problems with the 2 year old at all.

 

Good luck with the move! They are at an ideal age to settle in quickly!

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