kellyjamie Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Mornin/evening all hope ur all well. im havin a few seriously emotional awful days and wobbling. We fly out jan 30th and on one hand i cant wait weve been waitin so long for this and took so much blood sweat and tears but on the other i am feelin so awful for leaving my mum n dad. i feel totally selfish and guilty as im an only child and my parents closest friends are 2hrs away. im taking their grand daughter away who my dad takes to school. i think im more concerned for my dad as im starting to see him get older and i get worried what happens when the time comes hes unwell and im not here. Theyve never tried to stop us and always said we should go for it and theyre looking forward to visitingbut im just feeling terrible just now thanks for listening x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie ellis Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 only natural kel, aw the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 You can't live your life according to your parents needs. Been there.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuzieH Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I'm feeling the same way - we will know soon when we can go. Just sold our house eventually so it's going through - but now that is happening I'm stressing about leaving my family as I'm so close to them. My dad is refusing to come and see us over there although my mum would but really they can't afford to come out and see us. So frustrated!!!! I've got to the stage where I don't actually want to plan anything but just let someone else do it for me lol. Just don't know where to start.:daydreaming: Should really be sorting the house out and not sitting looking on the laptop dreaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 ..........it must be the hardest time........those few months then weeks............before you finally go...........it's filling that time with as many happy memories as you can...........that will help both parties either side of the world get through those first months away.......ime...............it's good to hear of supportive parents Kelly................best to enjoy now...........not look too far ahead...........none of us know what's in the future..............enjoy your time with family...............and good luck and safe journey ahead.............tink x .........you too suzie..........you posted before I had finished............but the sentiments stand for you both..........tink x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jit7 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 It's quite normal to feel this way. I know I've posted on here not so long ago about feeling in a similar way. My hubby and I have just moved out of our house and moved in with parents. I've moved to mine and he has moved to his (only a mile apart). I'm loving being at home and really enjoying spending time with my mum and dad and my sisters. Keep thinking about how hard it will be to be so far away from them. My mum and my sisters aren't feeling so positive anymore about our move so it makes me feel really guilty. But I know they will support us no matter what and just want us to be happy. They will come out to visit and we will hopefully be able to come to the UK for hols too. Just got to remember why it is that you wanted to go in the first place and stay positive. You have to give it a try otherwise you'll always have that "what if..." at the back of your mind. We only have 5 weeks left until we fly and trust me my emotions are all over the place. Just be strong and you'll get through it. If it doesn't work out you can always come back. Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 :hug: :hug: Kelly it's something we all go through, I'm not going to lie, it is hard, BUT, you have to remember we are only in this world once. I remember my gran and my great gran, they never left the town they were born in and my gran bought a house next door but one to my great gran. To me that isn't a life, life is about enjoying the time we have on this planet. As long as you know they are there for you and you are there for them, that you all love each other, then it shouldn't matter how far apart you are. Here have another hug :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 Thankyou all :hug: i know in my heart this is the right thing and also it will be fine but sometimes i need more than just jamie to reassure me, thats why i know i can always come on here and friends will in the most be supportive, sometimes you just need someone who has already done it or feelin the same to say to just say, you know what your not on your own and it will be ok, Thanks xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Checcles Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Wierd but... I have come across more people in the UK that could have gone years ago (when it was £10 poms) and regret they didn't... My own great Aunt (now over 90) told me to get myself off... apparently she put their emigration on hold years ago cos her mother was ill... they never went. Sometimes we have just do it... no matter how hard or painful... regrets can last forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AKA63029 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Hi Kelly. Do you wake up feeling sick at the thought of 'leaving' your ma and pa? Guilt seems to be your best mate? Each time you look at mum and dad you want to slap around yourself around the face and call yourself a 'Selfish Bitch'? Cry when your mum and dad say, 'Go For It? Can't get to sleep at night because visions of them appear and they look so sad? Wonder WTF you are doing to two people who have always been there for you and now you are kicking them in the teeth? If so, join the IHMC (I Hate Myself Club). I know this sounds a bit over the top, but 'IF' we are in the lucky position of having parents who have always supported us in WHATEVER we do AND it involves taking grandchildren away the those feelings matey are the most natural in the world. I've done it many times, and it never gets any easier, BUT. As others have said, this is your life and you need to do this, AND. It just just goes to show what wonderful parents you have if you have the front, courage and determination to migrate, they must have instilled in you the fortitude to make such a decision, and that is something they will be tremendously proud of, and rightly so. It does get easier matey, takes time and patience, but you ma and pa and you will 'deal' with it and I bet my bottom dollar, the 'Bond' you have now with mum and dad will only grow stronger as the years go by. You'll be OK Kelly, as will mum and dad. NOT easy, but it will be OK. :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trace1 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Hi Kelly My husband, Neal, myself and my son have been in Australia for nearly a year now. when we left it was a very difficult time...we stayed with Neal's parents in Leicester for a week before we went home to Essex to leave for Oz....never forget our last goodbyes....was difficult for me also as I felt really guilty as Neal is an only child...we only got married the year before we left and I felt that I was taking him away from his family...was awful seeing them all in such a state about us going but we did...Neal loves it here and although he misses his family certainly doesn't want to go home...we have children back in the UK which is also very difficult but most of them have already been over to visit...I love it also and we have just signed the second year on our rental here...Neal's mum , dad and son are due to visit next July so we have that to look forward to...unfortunately the guilt doesnt really go away...although I love it here I miss my boys and sometimes wonder if we shouldn't return back to the UK...I cant even imagine how I'll feel when my boys have their own children...my grandchildren...I put this right out of my mind for now as has not happened yet...I dont really miss the Uk and we can always visit when the time is right so that is not a problem...its people you miss...life here is great...still really hard work as Neal and I both work full time but you have to make the most of yr time off and get out in this beautiful weather...after all that's what we came here for and when you enjoy time with your family here you'll understand why you made this move...am sure that your family will be really happy for you...you will miss them without a doubt but you can skype which is a godsend I can tell you...is great to still be able to see everyone back home as well as talk to them...I suppose it comes with the territory....as a mother...daughter you never really stop feeling guilty but as others have said this is your time...my parents came over her in the 60's...we were the £10 poms...returned back to the UK 5 years later and when we tried to get back to Oz we couldnt...at least if you try this you can say you did it...it really doesn't matter if it doesn't work out you will have had the courage to make a go of it for your own childrens sake...they should come first...we are certainly going to stay and at least get out permanent residency and hopefully citizenship so that we can return home if things become too difficult but we can also come back....really dont want to make the same mistake as my parent s did...unfortunately when you miss your loved ones can make you make decisions that you might regret later on so my advice for what its worth is stick with it...what you are doing takes a lot of guts...be proud of what you are doing for your children and never forget although its along way away being in Oz is never the end if you cant cope...you have choices...just think very carefully before you make them.. Hope it all goes well Trace :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Emigrating is harder than anything else you will do in life. Mental preparation is everything, and that includes leaving loved ones behind guilt free. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaC Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I think you should be more worried if you didnt feel like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Checcles Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I think you should be more worried if you didnt feel like that. Agree 150% Donna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fitnesstasha Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 not much to add as we arn't in that position as yet, but I AM an onkly child and my parents also take my children to and from school, but just wanted to let you know i feel for you . A friend of mine now lives in Oz and when i was whinning if you like saying "awww its not fair!, i dont have any brothers or sisters!" and my friend said " well I left behind a brother, he visted me here in Oz and now he also lives here!! " so what im trying to say is you feel guilty no matter what, me for taking myself and grandkids away, and my friend as now both her parents children are now living in oz...thanks to her! ;-) Hope you feel better soon Txxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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