Missus B

I'm Alison, 35 years old, and I get to Brisbane next Tuesday! I'll be working in Roma Street so I should be living nearby there. I'm definitely on for meeting up! I'll pm you.

Yay, me little pal is back!!:jiggy::hug:

Another body found in shallow grave also. A woman who went missing 3 weeks ago. He is also suspect in a rape 4 -6 weeks ago. He led the police to the bodies. He planted Jill's handbag in a lane in the city as a decoy. So very sad for her husband and family.x

I'm doing what Snifter suggested. I get a flight from Dublin at 19.30- to London. Fly London to Singapore at 22.30. I get to Singapore at 18.30pm Singapore time. I have booked a cheap hotel room in the terminal for 6 hours to have a shower and a bit of a kip. My Singapore flight leaves at midnight and I arrive into Brisbane at 10am! I managed to dodge jetlag on the way over the last time, so hopefully the same strategy will work this time. P.S. I am also travelling alone:smile:

Well, we said our goodbyes today. I knew it was going to hurt, but christ, watching him walk away is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. We cuddled and cried for a couple of hours, and talked and cried some more and then I dropped him at the train station as he's going to London for the weekend. I have to pick myself up now and make this move work, otherwise all of this was for nothing. Thanks to everyone for their support and kind words. They have helped so much and I will probably read them again many times.:smile:

This is great news!!:jiggy:

As many on here will know, I am in my last few days in the UK before a brief visit to Ireland and then heading off to Oz. It feels like I am going through a bereavement. And in some ways it is. Life is never going to be the same again and I will have to mourn the friendships I am leaving behind and people I may never see again. I am getting close to my heart being 100% in the move and once I am there, I think I will be just fine. But the final week is just awful and not something I would ever want to go through again but I've enjoyed every last minute with everyone. I wasn't prepared for the ups and downs to such a dramatic extent. People advise you about the emotional rollercoaster but you have to go through it yourself, to truly understand. And it can't be avoided no matter what you do. :hug:

I'm originally from Ireland but moved to Newcastle 8 years ago. It feels more of a home to me now, than Ireland ever was. The Geordies make you feel so welcome, I adore the countryside and the rugged winters. I never thought I'd say this but I will miss the cold winters and white christmas's. They are magical, especially when you're tucked up in the warmth either at home or in the local pub. I am leaving Newcastle for Oz this week with a very heavy heart at everything I will be leaving behind. But I am leaving for a better working life and considering I spend 16 hours a day at work, something has to give. I hope to get out of my profession at some stage, after I've made my money and return ''home'' for good.

Thanks Lorraine. I know that the answer lies in what happens after I leave. If I am the one for him, I know he will come out to Oz and try and make things work. I have pretty much always done the running with us. And that's where the majority of the resentment came from. He would have to prove that he wants me. But I don't think either of us will know what we truly want until I've gone.x

I've been awake most of the night thinking about why it fell apart. It fell apart for me because I felt taken for granted and unloved, but he has difficulty expressing his emotions. Always has. I felt older than my years and full of resentment. We were like brother and sister in the end. The spark was gone. But the problem is, that spark had started to return in our time apart. Nothing happened on Saturday. He is a decent bloke and would always finish one thing before starting another. His best friend told me he wasn't happy. But he also said the distance between us might make him a bit more settled, the fact I'm not around. I have been like a new penny since we split and I know deep down, if I stayed, we wouldn't get back together as there are times I have been with him, when I've realized he hasn't changed at all.

This is exactly what I am thinking.....x

Thanks so much Millie, that means so much. If I listen to my sensible head, it's telling me that I deserve better than what I had. My friends and family saw a huge change in me for the better, once I left the relationship. I'd forgotten how unhappy I was. And I know, the only way of figuring this out is to go on my own and once I get my new life up and running, if it still feels empty without him, then there's my answer. I think you will always have to make concessions in order to get back with someone but I wouldn't want to compromise myself beyond recognition.xx

He kept making excuses to put off the wedding or just elope but keep in very low key and not really have a wedding celebration. I knew he was having doubts despite him denying it. I then began to have doubts. He wanted to start a family but the doubts were already there for me. I think we had given it long enough to know if we would be happily married or not. We had already had a 4 month separation 4 years ago, with no contact and it was great to get back together but nothing had changed. And I think we ignored the fact that nothing had changed because neither of us was ready for marriage until the last 2 years.

This all hits the nail on the head. I think, over the last 6 months, he was always in the background, so I didn't worry about not seeing him as I could when I wanted to and we used to meet up every couple of weeks, once the break up wasn't as raw. I felt for months that I had ripped our little family apart by changing so many things. But in reality, it was me holding us together for so long. I did everything for him and he showed little gratitude or me the same grace. He admits and regrets this now. But I know in my hearts of hearts, it would just go back to the same routine. And in that routine, I had begun to resent him and resent myself for putting up with it. It is magnified now and the thoughts of never seeing him again magnifies it further. But if I stayed here, I'm not sure we would ever get back together. Maybe he is just my comfort blanket and I'm clinging onto him to ease the process of moving.....thank you Snifter.x

That means a lot, thank you:wubclub:

Thanks Fifi. Honestly, there was so much that went wrong between us, it's hard to remember when or why it started to go wrong, if that makes sense. Lots of broken promises from both sides over the years and total indifference to eachother's needs. I felt I gave more than I got, he felt too much was expected of him. I know I will meet someone else, and I know I deserve to have a better relationship than I had with him. He also deserves that. I felt from day 1 that I would marry this man and we almost got there. But I had serious doubts leading up to the wedding and so did he and it started to fall apart from there. He says he has learnt from his mistakes and so have I. But we broke up before and should have learnt then but we ended up making the same mistakes all over again. I know I just need to go and throw myself into my new life. If it's meant to be then he will follow me out there. If in a couple of months, I'm still feeling this way, I'll ask him. We stayed friends after the break up and I'm so thankfull for that but in some ways, it has made it harder to move on. Thanks for your lovely words and advice.x

So, I had my leaving party on Saturday night for leaving the UK. I've been ok up until this weekend. There's been a few tears but nothing major as I'm normally fairly level headed. I ended up having a chat with my ex fiance after the party and again on the Sunday. I've been really missing him this week and I've never given myself time to deal with the break up. We broke up, sold the house, rehomed the cats and now I'm going to Oz. He has been seeing a woman from London on a casual basis but I know he's not happy according to his best friend. We were together for almost 8 years. We broke up once before. We've been to counselling, constantly argued, lost the spark in the end. Nothing we tried worked. But he is my best friend and I don't know where this has come from but I don't want to leave him. As stupid as it sounds, after everything we've been through, if he asked me to marry him again tomorrow, I'd say yes in an instant. He feels the same but has said we've given up too much to ever go back now. He said we have spent enough time apart to forget the bad times and he's right. I know they will still be there if we got back together. I have felt really devastated over the past few days over this. It feels like we've broken up all over again. I see him for the last time before I go on Thursday. He as asked me to stay in touch and he says he 100% knows we will meet again. I don't want to stay in the UK but I wish he was coming with me. Is this just last minute nerves? Has anyone else experienced anything similiar? I know being in love with eachother doesn't always make it work out in the end. I just don't want to get to Brisbane and realize I've left the most important part of me behind.:cry:

Ah me little pal... you'll be missed:cry:x

Not having a go, but you posted another thread of a similiar nature during the week and we all gave you good advice on that thread. Now you are asking again, about a different offence. All I can say to you, is, if you are in doubt, declare it. At least you won't be looking over your shoulder or dreading the ACRO report coming through the door. It won't stop you getting a visa.