Phoenix16

Thank you for the nice comments, to be honest the relationship has never been particularly close, however, after venting last night and getting it off my chest (and feeling much better!!) we have sat down with them today and asked if they are struggling financially as we are very happy to give them some money to enable them to really enjoy their time here and get out and about and see this wonderful place. Unfortunately my husband has started a new job in recent months and cannot take any time off, I am doing a placement for my degree that I cannot change and daughter is at school, they knew this before they came but tonight an open and honest discussion has taken place, they now acknowledge the impact of them Living with us while we have to go to work and come home tired and then manage their expectations of us, and they have confirmed they have ample funds to do more and that perhaps they should, we acknowledge we should be less selfish and appreciate them more while they are here, I guess what I have learned (and thanks to some of the criticism on this thread, I have listened!) is that instead of festering and whinging behind their backs, sometimes confronting the issue and actually saying how you feel is the right way to deal with things, it's not all hunky dory and we will think twice about their next visit but we are now getting through this visit in an honest and more productive way, thank you for everyone's comments, good or bad they have helped me to look at the situation more objectively xxxxx

I can appreciate how my comments sounded, I was raging and not rationalising but had had a day of it and vented on here. NO I'm not a snob, I do shop in Kmart, I did shop in Sainsbury's and Tesco's fir clothes when I lived there, and loved them actually, I was reacting to posts I thought were just being provocative, I should have counted to 10 first!! To some I do sound like an unappreciative DIL so I will explain, when we go to UK, they refuse to pick us up from the airport (unlike when they come here and we're talking same distances), we are not invited to stay with them, we pay expensive flights and expensive hotel bills, then we are considered to be the 'rich' visitors (which we truly are not) and every trip out, every meal out etc is on us, in fact it was even suggested to us before our last trip that we treat them all (along with us of course) to a family holiday in the Greek islands as I had been saying how much I missed the Greek islands, obviously we didn't appreciate the suggestion and certainly didn't not have that kind of money, so as far as I'm concerned we are used and abused when they come here and we are used and abused when we go there, hope that balances my frustrations to you a little more xxx

Absolutely spot on, exactly what I'm doing and thank you for understanding xxxx

I did but a lovey dress there 2 summers ago, I really loved it but after washing it it didn't fit me anymore, I chose to believe it was cheap nasty fabric that shrunk not me putting on any weight , bought a TShirt there this summer and inexplicably every time I wash it it keeps itS shape but it's getting baggier, I'm besides myself thinking I might be actually losing weight, but I dare not burst my bubble by actually getting on the scales, I'm just thinking ignorance is bliss and I'm happy!!!

OMG I am actually shocked, someone stole money from your child??? Gawd that is scary, someone on here who clearly built up trust with you, did you get the police onto them, did get ever bloody explain their actions? How can you trust people again? This is the reality, I'm shocked at how we are being used by family at the moment but bloody hell, I'm so sorry this happened to you but so amazed that you still show such trust in PIO members, you're a lovely lady xxxxx

Totally down hill, totally agree, So glad I'm not the only one thinking this!! I used to live target, could rely on it for my staple items, not now though

PS clothes in Australia are rubbish?? Totally disagree, Myer has amazing clothes for kids, they now do the Ted Baker range amongst others that I used to buy in Debenhams, the smart way to shop in Myer is to wait for the 30% weekends they have every other weekend, I get quality for good prices. Totally agree with you though that Australia is rubbish if your clothing your kids form Kmart or target, but then if you were in the UK you'd be looking at primark which is equally rubbish so I'm not sure what your problem is???

Hey Sammy1, I will send them over to yours for a week see how you get on, I don't appreciate your facetious, smug comments, I was making a humerous post about a stressful situation, they have significant amounts of money to buy clothes at Myers, they are pretty affluent and there is no need to buy 'tat' for my lovely daughter, I chose to clothe my daughter in quality stuff, I believe in the long run it lasts longer and is more cost effective, I have bought crap before but it lasts days and in the long run you spend more money buying more crap, plus it doesn't look nice and I want my daughter to look nice, fact. Thank you for your comments, but perhaps keep them to yourself in future unless you have a worthy comment to nmake xxxx

Just had a 3 week visit from the in laws, they actually managed to spend less than $100 on their 3 week visit, they managed to borrow cars that eternally fill themselves with petrol, their version of lunch in Freo was to pack some sandwiches and sit outside little creatures, they asked if they could take my little girl shopping but when I said she loves the clothes in Myers they changed their mind because they'd thought Kmart (was sopposed to be their Christmas treat to her, alas she's now going to receive some primark stuff through the the post), smiggle is out of bounds, far too expensive, dining out is fabulous, as long as we are paying..... 3 weeks in Australia for nothing and a no expenses spared stop off in Dubai on the way home (thanks to the cheapest Aussie holiday!!), they mentioned coming next Christmas for another 'free' holiday, I can't put on this forum the words that came out of my mouth, but basically NO, not in a million years xxxxxxxx

I find this whole thread difficult yet compelling reading and my heart goes out you all of you who are here in this situation. I'm here with Hubby and daughter, I had no idea about this legislation and definitely didn't have 'the discussion' or get anything in writing. I feel confident that if we split he would let me return to UK with my daughter but I suspect you all felt the same and think I'm being somewhat naive. We are happy and no prospects of splitting but This thread makes me think about what if..and what I'd do, it makes me go into 'cunning' mode and I've never drawn my husbands attention to this law and I think I'd be off home before a solicitor had chance to put him in the know. Yup I suspect I'm being naive again. Anyway, wish you all the very best and just want to say that there are some strong, awesome women posting their stories on this thread - much respect to you xxx