2tigers

Emma, try to see the Uk with fresh eyes..... Get on the Internet & google where to go & what to see close to home & around your area, keep busy planning days out, I've done many things alone! I now see the uk more as a tourist, it's amazing what I've now seen & done in contrast to before I left!

I have this dilemma too at the mo, there are so many to choose from, I've been told that for my car to have a towbar it will cost me £400 then the bike rack I want is another 3-400!!!!! What gets me is every company I speak to gives me different answers about the tow bar.

I also cook my rice by absorption method, its the best way - the best fluffy rice ever. Mine is slightly different method than Northernbirds, but sounds like we have same result. Try this next time you do rice..... Whatever the amount of rice I have (say 1 cup) I double with water (2 cups). Pinch of salt. Bring to the boil with no lid on. As soon as it starts to boil turn it right down to the lowest and stick lid on. It should just be very mildly bubbling. Leave cooking like this for 12-14 mins. DO NOT TAKE LID OFF AT ANY STAGE. Then after 12-14 mins (doesn't make any difference if its 12, 13 or 14) LEAVE LID ON and let stand for at least 10 mins. The trick here is to not be tempted to take the lid off, stir or rinse rice. If its bubbling too much with the lid on, you have it too high. When all the above has been done, the rice is ready, just fluff with a fork, do not stir with a spoon - do not stir at all. Do not rinse. Just fluff up and Enjoy!

If you have a digital clock on it, mess with the buttons & it might come on. If it is switched off & on at mains it might mess with clock, my dads old cooker used to do this & he gad to reset it by the clock, then it would work!

I second what Quoll said, don't just go with any network - the coverage varies depending on where you are heading to, then the different tariffs are variable too!

If the person you are with is the parent, then yes..... both parents have rights.

Even though they are not married? I was married and had to wait 2yrs...... also, the OP hasn't mentioned what her OH's status is? I think we are assuming he is Aussie, but I don't see anywhere that she has said this?

I have just sent you a PM - I prefer to keep some personal details off the main thread

Thats right, but you need a court order to state your the main carer, they wont just give you a permanent visa.

I don't think it quite works like that? I do believe In that scenario she would still be on a temp spouse visa for 2yrs. If they split up she would have to inform Immigration who would giver her 3 scenarios to enable her to stay and continue for her permanent visa - (1) if the father is proven to be abusive (2) if the father has died (3) if she has a court order to say she is the main carer. And until her visa is permanent then she still can't claim any support from centerlink...... how do I know? It happened to me.

Gee thats a complicated situation. I am not legally trained and can only state what I know due to what I have been through..... my instincts would say that as you are both the parents then the HC would apply and you would need the fathers permission to leave. As for your visa, it all depends on what visa you arrive on....... Legal advice, thats what I would take if I was you, but unfortunately not all legal teams in the UK and AU are fully versed on the HC, so your best route to find the most knowledgeable solicitors on the HC would be to contact 'Reunite' in the UK, just google them and they will point you in the right direction. They have a list of solicitors all over the UK who specialise in the HC and can advise you. Before you move, why don't you express your concerns to your partner and ask that if it doesnt work out, that he would allow you all to go home?

No, in fact its quite different. When I have more time later I will try to find the history or something more factual based, or maybe someone reading this who is interested could? My Lawyer told me the history but I would prefer some facts to back it up before I posted it really. Basically, from what I recall - its only over recent years where international relationships are more common; where the mother is known to relocate to the fathers country to bring the child up rather than the father relocate to the mothers land, that this type of 'abduction' is common. Many many years ago, (I was told) it was brought about to prevent men abducting a child abroad from the mother, never to be seen again. Not the other way around. As we know in history, its always been the mother who has had full parental responsibility, a child would always stay with the mother. As time has moved on, fathers have more rights and the HC, regardless of how old the law is, caters for this.

This is all so true, I am so fortunate I was able to relocate back home........

Your very welcome, there are many people on this site that will assist whenever they can. Just a little note, the Hague Convention and International Relocation are two separate cases in a court. The HC only ever comes into play if a parent takes the children out of the country they are residing in without the other parents permission. There are LOTS of family law solicitors that are not well versed at all in the HC, thats both in the UK and Australia, its quite scary some of the advice that I was given initially, and when that solicitor was called into court the judge asked him if he understood the HC and scarily his reaction was 'yeah, kind of'....... if you wanted to get in touch with a solicitor who specialises in relocation and the HC then the best base for you is to look at this website - http://www.reunite.org/ Reunite were my saviour, they are a free organisation with a wealth of experience with relocations and the HC, they will be able to give you a list of solicitors in the UK, as most give the first 30-60 mins free, this would hopefully be enough time to direct you the right way. Good luck, I hope you never need to reflect back on this thread though.

Hi there, I am glad the post is making people aware, you are being very wise in discussing the 'what if' with your partner. If I was you, to put your mind at rest, I would make an appointment with a solicitor who specialises in family law. Ask for it to be put in writing that he gives you permission to return to the UK with the children, and any future children to permanently relocate if you so wish (or however you wanted it wording). I have never done this, and I am not legally trained, but I do know that if you were both already in Australia and he put it in writing that you could leave with the children permanently, that this is seen as giving his permission. So for him to write it before you leave one would say it makes sense for the courts to take that into consideration. BUT I am not legally trained, I am just one who has been through this and it was the worst time of my life, I am one of the few who was able to return home.

Sorry to read your friends in this situation. The only thing that I can see where things look good in her favour is the age of the children. Once a child reaches a certain age (approx 12 I think, but no quotes) the courts listen to their choices. If she is looking at a reconciliation, it may be worth her while to request that they all move to the UK as a family, to help the situation if they ever split again and to provide her with a support network if the abuse continues..... once the parents make a conscious decision to move back to the UK then the children become residents of the UK same as when they went to the AU, and the HC would stop them leaving the UK. Does that make sense? Her other option would be to seek legal advice and get the ball rolling asap for an international relocation. This can cost up to and over $100,000 to fund. Can take over 2yrs of draining court cases where all past and present is dragged through the courts. Leaving AU is not simple, and even in cases where there is abuse toward the other parent the courts don't always stop contact with the children. If this was the case her chances of returning may be slim as the courts are very active in promoting relationships between father and child, regardless of his abuse to the mother or his contributions financially. BUT saying that, the age of the children do go in her favour, the older they are the more chances of their wishes being heard in court. Best of luck to her

Hi there readybrek, I am sorry to read your having a dilemma after only being in the country a short time. Unfortunately I know of a situation (court case) the same as yours and the outcome was not good. I urge you to get legal advice, make an appointment with legal aid preferably in the city where there are more staff, quicker for an appointment and a bigger chance of finding a lawyer who is clued up with the HC and immigration. The couple split up within a few months of arriving, the family (dad, mum and son) were in AU due to his visa linked to his job. The Dad met someone else within months of arriving and moved out of the rental, the mum got on a plane with her son and brought their son home. HC began and she had to return her son to AU. A two year court case began, she wanted to bring her son back to the UK, but the law stated that she had broken the HC and although she could not legally stay there, the son could still legally stay there with the father, and so she had to apply for an international relocation order. Within the two years of her and her son being there she wasn't allowed to work or claim any benefits, she lived off hand outs and church goodwill. She had to sell the family home in the UK to fund the case. Now the twist - within the two years of the court case, not only had her son now began school and settled, but she had met someone and changed her mind about wanting to come home to the UK. The courts wouldn't allow it, and after spending over £100,000 on legal fees and then uprooting her son from his father, new life and her from her new partner - she was told she had 28 days to leave the country, with the child. So she came home and is now rebuilding her life again here in the UK. It is so complicated its unreal, I was also sent back to AU for over 2 years whilst the courts made decisions, I was unable to work or claim any benefits, I suffered terribly and my absolute heart goes to anyone who goes through this. I hang around on this website to give what little advice I can about this topic, I wish I could help you but it really is legal advice you need.

I'll message you so not to paste all my life on here LOL

Hi Neil, sorry I should have made myself easier to understand. From what I can read above, it sounds to me that if your enjoying your life there, have what you consider a good job and what you would constitute a good life etc, that you wouldn't let her take the children home? The problem I see here is, that yes if your enjoying your life there you would see AU as a better life for the children. But your wife may think totally opposite, this is where the problem lies for a lot of people, we all have different thoughts. A lot of women who have been caught up in this have ended up depressed and felt like a prisoner due to the father not allowing the children to return. If your wife doesn't feel confident that you would allow her and the children to return if she didn't like it, then she will feel anxious, its such a huge decision to make. What I have found out that money and material objects mean nothing if your not happy, happiness in yourself means the world. Feel free to PM me if you like, If there is anything I can do to help please ask

There is a way around this, its called 'Mirror Orders' where one country makes an order and you can get it made in the next country in their court, so it stands in both countries. i have them. Also, you may find that for some people they don't feel AU is the best place to bring children up, I actually feel my children have a better life in the UK. It really is all a personal choice. I personally would see red flags if I was asked to sign something similar to what your proposing Neil, your wife may need a clear answer before she decides to go and she would be wise to demand that answer too - you either agree she goes home with the children if she is not happy, before she agrees to emigrate, or not. No conditions on regards to material issues, and I doubt your son will be surfing and have a close network of mates for many years to come, he is at an age where he can adapt anywhere tbh. I know its difficult to think of the what if's, but looking at your life in the UK where you are all stable right now, compared to a life in AU where it may become unstable, it may come down to selfish reasons for either country, but always look back to where you came from (UK) and how happy ALL of you are right now. A dream is a dream but it may not work out for all of you, so empathy might be needed somewhere along the line for those not happy. Saying that, I think you and your Mrs are being wise in exploring all avenues here. Good luck, I do hope it works out for all of you.