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Family visits


sally04

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Yeah, I also get this too but other way around (from Australian family and friends while here in the UK). Muggins here got wise to it when I was sending over presents to ungrateful siblings who couldn't even be bothered sending an email confirming receipt so effectively sending them into a void. I keep plugging away at sending cards for birthdays and Christmases - but it really annoys me that it's all one way traffic.

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Yes, I have noticed this. My mum and my oh's brother and his family didn't send our youngest daughter a birthday card this year, and I am not holding out much hope of receiving one myself next week. I quite probably won't get any from oh's family either. Oh's parents came out every year for three years, but have said that they will have to limit it to every other year at some point.

 

I think that you have to come to terms with the fact that you have moved on in your life, and because you aren't there day to day, you do get forgotten.

 

I have a small personal dilemma related to this topic. My mum didn't send a birthday card for Charlotte, as I said, and my grandma is rather upset about it. She asks me if one has arrived every time I speak to her, and I know that if I tell her that mum hasn't sent one, she will phone and shout at my mum and will get all worked up about it. I am not bothered about the card at all, and I have told her that. I don't know whether to just tell her that one has arrived just to diffuse the situation, even though I would be being dishonest.

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Yes, I have noticed this. My mum and my oh's brother and his family didn't send our youngest daughter a birthday card this year, and I am not holding out much hope of receiving one myself next week. I quite probably won't get any from oh's family either. Oh's parents came out every year for three years, but have said that they will have to limit it to every other year at some point.

 

I think that you have to come to terms with the fact that you have moved on in your life, and because you aren't there day to day, you do get forgotten.

 

I have a small personal dilemma related to this topic. My mum didn't send a birthday card for Charlotte, as I said, and my grandma is rather upset about it. She asks me if one has arrived every time I speak to her, and I know that if I tell her that mum hasn't sent one, she will phone and shout at my mum and will get all worked up about it. I am not bothered about the card at all, and I have told her that. I don't know whether to just tell her that one has arrived just to diffuse the situation, even though I would be being dishonest.

 

Personally I would tackfully ask your mum if she in fact sent one, it may have got lost in the post! You could explain to her about your Grandmother worrying over it?

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We noticed the communication side of things straight away...everyone wants emails and photos but hardly anyone even acknowledges the receipt of them!

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Yes, I have noticed this. My mum and my oh's brother and his family didn't send our youngest daughter a birthday card this year, and I am not holding out much hope of receiving one myself next week. I quite probably won't get any from oh's family either. Oh's parents came out every year for three years, but have said that they will have to limit it to every other year at some point.

 

I think that you have to come to terms with the fact that you have moved on in your life, and because you aren't there day to day, you do get forgotten.

 

I have a small personal dilemma related to this topic. My mum didn't send a birthday card for Charlotte, as I said, and my grandma is rather upset about it. She asks me if one has arrived every time I speak to her, and I know that if I tell her that mum hasn't sent one, she will phone and shout at my mum and will get all worked up about it. I am not bothered about the card at all, and I have told her that. I don't know whether to just tell her that one has arrived just to diffuse the situation, even though I would be being dishonest.

 

I live 100 miles from my brother and his family and despite a parcels of presents getting posted early December for his 4 kids, we got nothing but a text message 2 days after Christmas. My youngest child, aged 7, is my brother's godson. You don't have to be 1000s of miles away for family to forget you..................at least the distance is a good excuse for the kids to hear. :)

 

Is it likely that your Mum wouldn't have sent a card? I can understand in-laws forgetting.

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First few years, you get a steady trickle of people coming to visit you. Most will only come once, it's a novelty the first time, and generally considered too expensive after that... so after everyone's come that first time, yes there will be a decline in visits.

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Guest The Pom Queen
Have people experienced a sharp decline in family and friend visits after living in Oz for 5 years? I realise this will depend on many things, however looking for a general feeling about this.

I wish.. my mother comes out for 3 months and usually twice a year if we are lucky :wub: Rob's mother comes every couple of years and in between we have brothers, freinds, pio members. In fact it's usually non stop at our house, I think we need to buy a B & B.

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I live 100 miles from my brother and his family and despite a parcels of presents getting posted early December for his 4 kids, we got nothing but a text message 2 days after Christmas. My youngest child, aged 7, is my brother's godson. You don't have to be 1000s of miles away for family to forget you..................at least the distance is a good excuse for the kids to hear. :)

 

Is it likely that your Mum wouldn't have sent a card? I can understand in-laws forgetting.

 

It is highly likely that she didn't send one. Last year none of us got a card. Youngests birthday is the day after valentines day, and eldests is two days before mums, so they are fairly easy dates to remember. It doesn't bother me particularly, I have never been ever so close to mum, and the girls don't really know her, but my gran gets upset about it.

 

I will tell my gran that it is probably lost in the post. It does happen, and at least that way I am not lying as such, just not quite telling the truth.

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This is one of the saddest and unexpected things about moving to Australia in that no one can be bothered to keep in touch although I easily managed to get a cheap phone card to phone the UK, use skype and even phone on my mobile to use my minutes up. None of my family do, apart from my dad who has free international phone calls via Talktalk. Only my favourite aunty sends birthday or Christmas cards and most shocking was that none of my friends bother keeping in touch at all and no thanks for pressies or cards. When I phoned my uncle to wish him a happy birthday all he wanted to do was get rid of me and couldn't even be bothered to have a conversation.

 

I've given up 'reminding' them about cheap phone cards, sending cards or txt messages to arrange a phone call or skype session and not responding to Facebook messages, so bugger the lot of them!

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Guest guest17301
I wish.. my mother comes out for 3 months and usually twice a year if we are lucky :wub: Rob's mother comes every couple of years and in between we have brothers, freinds, pio members. In fact it's usually non stop at our house, I think we need to buy a B & B.

 

 

You must make them too comfortable Kate, youre obviously a great hostess!

 

My family have come out regularly (once a year) and plan to continue as far as Im aware. Oh's family also come when possible 2 visits in 3 years. Definite lack of effort from other family members, certain friends.....I think it works both ways, people feel deserted therefore dont keep in touch as often as we would like. I would say never be too proud to pick up the phone.....it gets harder to do the longer you leave it.

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