Guest Neil Meadowcroft Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi, It’s Saturday morning so no work to keep me occupied, as ever thinking about OZ. I'm posting this question to gain some further insight on this matter. I've read on this sight and also spoken with friends who made the move to OZ but said they suffered terribly with homesickness, for those already out there what do you feel are the main reasons. I know many would say family but that aside what other issue do you have. Is work an issue? I would have thought that if you are at home all-day and not working then your mind would start to race through the factors. If this is the case did it help when you found employment? Is it how you thought the life would be and the place? Did the move place a strain on your relationship, this could be that 1 wanted to stay and the other move back to the UK. I know it might be easier if you have children as you are able to speak with other parents etc but for those who don’t have or don’t like children how have you found making friends etc. I'm aware that everybody is different and things take time to settle in, it's like any major change. I don’t know if I’m caught up in all this new life etc and if push comes to shove I’m going to regret giving up a fairly decent job with salary, decent house and to an extent lifestyle. I'm not on a downer at all but I’m just being realistic and quite concerned that it might not be how I want it to be, and that once over there all I want to do is come back home. Could this be because I’m out of my comfort zone? I don’t know. Any experiences and how you thought you overcome this would be most welcome. Many thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi Neil Not really the response you want but I had a year out there a few years back and the homesickness did hit a while but it soon passed when I met friends and started going out more. The beer does help :wink: Work does keep you occupied and to start with you are busy sorting your new life out. I'm not sure how this will affect me this time, going out on my own with my little boy. Having big doubts about it before we leave, I too worry about leaving my comfort zone at the mo but not sure if I could cope with not giving it a go! I think it is the fear of the unknown. :shock: I hope it all works out for you mate. Good luck with it, where do you intend on heading for? SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wfourie Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi Neil I think it must be the waiting driving us over the edge because it is now getting to me and I have asked myself the same questions over and over in the last month. Are we mad to give up great paying jobs (wouldn't say we were happy in them though) Lovely house, friends and family for the unknown. What if we hate it, what if we don't make friends? I am not a stay at home person so what if I don't get a job, what if I get depressed? will it put a strain on our marriage? what if the house doesn't sell, what if the doctor says I've got a disease? what if what if what if, the only thing stopping me is 5 years ago we applied for NZ and I got cold feet and for 4 years until we decided to try for Aus I kept saying what if we had gone to NZ, what would our life had been like etc etc I don't want to sit here in 5 years and say we should have gone to Aus and at least tried it. I get homesick just going on holiday so I am dreading the homesickness of leaving the country I think I am going to get it real bad! Hoepfully it won't be long now and we will get a CO and then we can test all these what if's! Keep in there Becca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I'm with you on that one Becca, if I had this Visa I would probably just get on with it, all this waiting drives me up the wall and I feel sick to my stomach most days. I never used to be this much of a wuss before I became a mother!! Good luck with it all hun. SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neil Meadowcroft Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hiya, Thanks for that. I suppose it's only natural to have doubts, we haven’t even been accepted yet!! I've always said that I’d sooner regret going than not, but when you have your thinking hat on, that saying seems rather cloudy. We are going back to OZ in December for a good look round at both Melbourne & Adelaide and get a further feel for the places. Hopefully this will reaffirm our gut instincts which made us originally apply. This time it wont be with a "Holiday attitude" but a focus on jobs, housing etc. I'm like yourself I couldn’t think of anything worse than staying at home not working. Hey Hoo. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hope it all works out for you hun. I hope it does for me as I don't think I would be able to afford to come back! SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pasty Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi All Neil, I think you are making the best move you can, look at what is happening to this country and surely another one has got to have better prospects for everything. Going back at Xmas should only reaffirm your intentions of going and you'll be thinking "what was I worrying for?" We are making the move for our kids, to give them a much better lifestyle although if you haven't got any and it's just for yourselves, there must have been something to make you even consider moving to the other side of the world. Think of the better weather, cheaper petrol, more outdoors lifestyle, barbies whenever (hopefully no rain to wash it out) bigger houses, etc..... For all those of you waiting, good luck and try to destress cos the whole process certainly does take over your life and you live, breathe and eat Australia for the whole time and god does it make you the most miserable person to live with (ask my hubbie!!) We were lucky and got our pre-grant letter on Thursday and ours took over 5 months and I've never been such a cow to my hubbie and now I've cheered up no end, but i have been where you are, looking at all those lucky buggers getting their visas and thinking "where's my case officer then, how long do I have to wait, etc." It will come to you all at some point this year, so keep looking on the bright side. Scoop, I admire you for making the more by yourself with your little boy, you are very brave but think of the improvement in his lifestyle and of course yours. It's just the unknown that we are all scared of, will I get a job, will I be able to afford to live well, but until we get out there, we just won't know, but I for one am willing to give it my best shot. Sorry about the rambling train of this message but hope it makes sense, I hope it doesn't sound like I lecturing anyone, it was meant that way. Jackie (Mrs Pasty) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Thanks for that Jackie Just the wobble setting in now and again. Your sentiments are appreciated. SCoop Good luck with the move, keep in touch when you get there hun x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Neil Meadowcroft Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi, When you have time to think and to some extent be realistic thats when i start to question things. We are both under 30 and shouldnt have any problems getting a job, and subject to the sale of the house,cars etc make a healthy profit that will set us up no problems. But then i think both sets of parents live at the most, 30 min away, how easy will it be to ring up and say "Are you in i'm gonna nip down for a brew". I know for a fact that they will all come over and visit and so will our close friends but.......... As long as i can get the BUT out of my head i'll be reet. I'd echo what has been said about taking just yourself and your lad over you are very brave. But look at what he's got to expect over here when he's older NOTHNG. Cheers for all you comments glad it's not just me that thinks/feels like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 Hi Neil Cheers for that mate Don't feel very brave at the mo :shock: My Folks only live half hour down the road, my dad don't visit though, my mother does in winter but they work 7 days a week in summer! Do I want that for my lad? Don't think so! I know they will not visit when I move but that would be the same in this country too and with the state of the NHS at the mo I will probably have to move anyway! Our trust £35,000,000 in debt. I have friends who will visit one has agreed to come out with me to help me settle me and the boy in, how cool is that? Just got to give it a go and see what happens, probably wouldn't be able to cope with the regret anyway! Good luck with it all mate Keep ya chin up :? SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted May 13, 2006 Share Posted May 13, 2006 I guess were all in the same boat and having the same doubts ,im now trying a new method,,,im imagining being pissed off ,lonely ,skint, jobless ,losing the plot, and too hot along with feeling like an outsider and just not fitting in. Well come on guys if we imagine the worst we may be surprised and remember ,,it can only get better !! Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted May 19, 2006 Share Posted May 19, 2006 Actually feel alot better reading this, as it's how I've been feeling. On the good days, can't wait to book my flight, on the down days (usually after weeks of not hearing anything), I'm convinced that something will show up on the medical, we'll be considered too old at 42 and we'll get a letter saying 'no thanks. So it's nice to know that others feel/think the same way. I'm not a pessamist, but until I get that letter I'm scared of planning too far ahead. Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest teresa Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Hi everyone We have had our visas since July 05 but because it took us over 2yrs to get, we have had too much time to mull things over and over again, and analyse matters, to the extent we had virtually talked ourselves out of leaving the UK! Like you all, we have good paid jobs, live in a decent area and have lovely family and friends, yet all the time there has been something eating away at us saying give it a go, if nothing else, for the kids future, we have a son 13 and a daughter 9. When you look at the state of the country, the damage cannot be undone and what future does it hold for our kids. I would like to say thanks to eveyone who contributes to this site because it has helped me realise that everyone goes through the pain barrier of 'what if'. We have decided to give it a go! Teresa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 We have had our visas since July 05 but because it took us over 2yrs to get, we have had too much time to mull things over and over again, and analyse matters, to the extent we had virtually talked ourselves out of leaving the UK! Like you all, we have good paid jobs, live in a decent area and have lovely family and friends, yet all the time there has been something eating away at us saying give it a go, if nothing else, for the kids future, we have a son 13 and a daughter 9. When you look at the state of the country, the damage cannot be undone and what future does it hold for our kids. I would like to say thanks to eveyone who contributes to this site because it has helped me realise that everyone goes through the pain barrier of 'what if'. We have decided to give it a go! Good luck with it all hun I know how you feel have just gotten over a big wobble myself. The thought of having the regret of not going is the only thing that keeps me going. Hope your plans go well. SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pasty Posted May 20, 2006 Share Posted May 20, 2006 Hi All When we've all been out there for years, having a think back to what life was like before Oz, we won't have any regrets at all and then we look at our happy kids, playing in a BIG park and say "so glad we did it, were brave enough to make the move" We have made our minds up, we are going to Sydney to be with the family there and are going to be shovelling CV's across the waters this weekend like no-ones business!! Fingers crossed it leads to a good job Good luck to those going through still, it wil be worth it take care Jackie & Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 You probably will suffer from home sickness, it's not like moving to Blackpool or even across the channel, it seems so far away from what you call home and family especially. It took me 3 years to settle down, my wife didn't have any family left so it didn't get to her at all, for some reason I missed my lot so much that I wanted to return. I became friends with some blokes at work and I started to settle down & we bought a house, my mother came out to see us & said we had achieved more in the few years here than we ever did in the UK. Since that time both my brothers have been here on holidays, one only last year, they all say they wish they had made the move themselves now but are too old, but they are coming again. I returned to the UK in 92 to see my sick mother, I then realised why we had left in the first place, I never want to go back again, it's only the price of a plane ticket to go back, for some people it's only 2 weeks wages, if you don't settle you have 2 years to save to go home & you've tried, on the other hand you will always wonder what could have been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest loz Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Hi Everyone Thought I would give a little input to this topic. We have been in melbourne for 6 months now, still quite a newbie but heres what i think. Cant actually call what i have felt some days as "homesick". I do not miss the UK. Yes I miss familiar things around me but that is only natural being out of your comfort zone. Our kids are back in the UK. One has already been out to visit for a month and i can honestly say its the best quality time i have spend with him in years. Another one is coming in a few weeks. We have a web cam and talk and see them regularly. They are happy in what they are doing and so pleased that we have done this. Phone calls to the UK are a lot cheaper from this end than you think. Settling down all takes time and as long as you bear that in mind you will not go wrong. I have accepted the fact, not to expect too much too soon - take every day as it comes. You have to make the effort to get out and about and meet people -if not you are in danger of wrapping yourself in a little coocoon. They will not come knocking on your door. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it !!! I really feel for all of you who are scared at the thought. One of the things that helps me is not to finalise everything. I tell myself i have packed up my whole life and come 12,000 miles and if it doesnt work out I will pack up my things and move back 12,000 miles. That way it takes away that "pressure" to succeed - which just adds to the stress of it all. I wish you all the very best in your new life down under - it really is a great place to be. Loz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fatpom Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Neil, We've been in Aus 8 years now (my spouse & I). Homesickness is an issue - after the initial honeymoon period (approx 1 yr for us) it takes about three years to fully settle for many people but then it's not an entirely negative experience anyway. Even if you don't have close family ties you will have spent many years building social ties & friendships. These will be for all practical purposes broken & you will have to build again from the ground up. We don't have kids, I wouldn't say its significant, but what this does mean is you should consider the consequences of old age (& admittedly I didn't). Work shouldn't be an issue, it will help you build ties. Most poms find work relatively quickly but don't automatically expect to take on a job at an equivalent level, you may well find one but compare yourself to an equivalent australian with the additional benefit of local knowledge, customs & practice. It doesn't take long to catch up anyway. I don't expect to return to the UK to live (but never say never). For me life is much better here in Aus. Just remember if it doesn't work out for you - your only a 24 hr flight away from returning. One thing I do miss though is a good pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest duncan Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 hi everyone i feel i may be in a good position to answer this one as i have been going to aussie for 24 years and this febuary made perth my home. i am now back in the u.k. for 3 weeks basking in this glorious weather u are having and to tell u the truth it is really hard being here. we left great jobs, good income a super home and hoildays every year with close friends. the reason we did it was that at our age (41 & 42) if we didn't we would always have asked ourselves what if??? we now live in an area called harbour rise 200yds from the beach. the weather has been incredible since we arrived and we have been lucky that we have had friends in perth (all brits) who have made the same choice at some time in their lives and so appreciate the highs and lows we have encountered. the "its only 24 hours on a plane" is a load of rubbish its a far bigger distance than that, yes if u lived in spain u could pop back for a weekend, even in america the thought of a 4-7 day return is no prob, but u are not going to pop back from aus its a major return and its costly for most. so the isolation hits home pretty quick and u realise that your safety blanket of friends and family are a long way away and all things familiar have gone. its almost like doing a "reggie perrin" whereby you are starting all over again new job, new friends, new home new everything. to think that even the phone ringing or the doorbell going can cause excitment makes us sound quite sad but the funny thing is when we landed we got our new mobiles and 4 1/2 months later my contacts are still just a handfull it never rings and when it does i already know it will be the wife. we left the uk for probably a lot of the same reasons as many of u are looking to leave but its very much the "same shit different bucket" scenario, there is wide spread drug abuse, alchol related crime is rife and the bikey gangs are always in the news and the tracks of hoons on every street corner. house prices on the west coast are mad at the moment with people camping out for weeks to secure plots and houses selling for well above the asking price. as for the "cheap petrol" well we have being paying as much as a $1.50 a litre so not so cheap especially when u take in the wage difference in aus and the general amount of miles u drive. so as not to ramble on for ever, to sum up we look upon our adventure as if someone had walked into our office in london and asked the question "does anyone want to do a sabatical in aus for two years" we all know we would jump at the chance, thats all it takes to get your citizenship and for us that is our short term goal we have to take it in small steps otherwise you would never make it. i would say to anyone thinking of doing it, first question your relationship because the cracks will show very quickly, second go on a rekkie and third embrace everything aussie, there is nothing wrong with anything it's merely different. love and bubbles to you all duncan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nelson Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Hi All, Interesting thread this.. to Neil I would say that nobody in the whole world has ever had someone turn up on their doorstep with a new life on a velvet cushion for them.. Everyone that is doing this visa stuff is in the same boat to a greater or lesser extent.. 20 years ago, I emigrated to South Korea (that was long before it was the cosmopolitan metropolis that is is now, believe me!) and, although everybody thought I was bonkers at the time, I had the time of my life! Moving to that sort of country at the tender age of 22 was a massive deal. I think that going to Oz these days should be a piece of p**s by comparrison but I still have exactly the same worries as you! I think that as long as you go with an open mind and an open heart you will be fine. Get out there and make new friends - obviously, the friendships may be shortlived initially but I still keep in contact with my Korean friends, even now. Also, (sorry to ramble) with communication as it is now and the progression of it, I truly believe it will make less and less difference where we are on the planet when it comes to keeping in touch. If you think about it, 10 years ago, who'd have thought that we would be using forums like this to get us through the waiting! It was snail mail mate and nowt else! Anyway, I've droned on enough, but I know we're all going to have a ball once we get out there. As a bit of an aside, though, for the last six months I have been 'writing' a letter to Tony Blair that I plan to post at the airport.. I don't want to get political here but I am sooooooo disillusioned with everything from education through to dog s**t on pavements that I could put myself forward as a guest on 'Grumpy Old Women'... Blah, blah, blah....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bagshawd Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 Great words spoken by Teresa, could not agree more and we are in the same situation by the sounds, but with 2 daughters. I do like the questions that Neil ask's these are the same I ask myself also. It's feel better to know that it is not just me with these emotions....thought I was all on my own. It would be good to hear of the poms over there with their thoughts now & how long have they been there. Does it get easier with time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fraser Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 For most, it gets much easier. For some, Australia never becomes home. (For me it certainly has... Although I have been back on holiday several times I cannot imagine going back to live in the UK now.) There is no doubt that the fisrt couple of years can be "weird"... but after that you certainly know where you want to be. So... come on out, rent a house for a year... if you like it, choose a place to put down roots. best advice? make the decision taht you will give it 24month minimum, no matter how tough it gets.... at the end of that time your head and your heart will have agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IanL Posted October 15, 2006 Share Posted October 15, 2006 hmm, perhaps I'm not the best person to comment. But I'm still desperately homesick after 17yrs and it's worse now after our failed move to the UK earlier this. That's one disadvantage of being married to someone who isn't English or Australian. The upside is we have no particular tie to anywhere so can look at pastures new when the time is right. Who knows, could be just a case of leaving Sydney, but I suspect Canada is where we'll end up, or NZ. Problem for me is I don't feel at home here, and I know my wife will never feel at home there I hear Narnia is taking applications :wink: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fraser Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 Why after 17 years Ian? Anything in particular? I certainly still miss people, and a few places... but that's about it. I could recount the things that I don't miss... but...... What I *do* know is that each of us brings with us a "postcard" of wherever "home" was. That "Postcard" is a snapshot-in-time memory of how it was when we left..... but postcards are never fair reflections of reality. I know a Greek couple who have a mental picture of a 1960s Greece.... I spent four sets of summer holidays in Greece in the 1980s / 90s and the modern Greece I know is a million miles from the one they have in their postcard. When I go back to the UK, the country I see is just the same as I left it...but very, very different... same towns - new buildings, same streets - different cars on the road, same people - older faces... ...but very little is constant, and I could not return to the world that I left 10 years ago... simply because it is no longer there... The place I worked was bought-out, and has closed and the building has been demolished. The footbal park that I went to every Saturday is now a shopping centre. What was my local pub has gone too.... and someone else is living in the house that was once mine.... The shipyards on the Clyde are now nice apartment blocks... And Glasgow airport that was once a great place for a holiday charter flight to Spain now takes scheduled services from Dubai. My postcard is well out of date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IanL Posted October 16, 2006 Share Posted October 16, 2006 Why after 17 years Ian? Anything in particular? Not sure really Fraser. I think it's because so many bad things happened to me here. Bad marriage break up, loss of kids, two operations one bad accident and some very threadbare times financially (thankfully now over). I don't feel Australian, I don't understand their mentality and never really have but have really tried. I took out citizenship in an effort to feel more connected, but it didn't work. I simply don't understand what everyone else sees here. When I look around all the suburbs look the same, some cities are greener than others and that's about it. There is nothing I love about Australia (except the fact I learnt the beauty of surfing here), and there's nothing really I hate about it either ('cept the numpty drivers). I just kind of seem to be 'here'. Most of my friends have moved overseas or have kids and now have friends with kids. I can count on one hand the amount of real friends I have here, and my wife has even less. Seems to be a country where if you're not single and drunk or married with kids you're on the outer. To be honest it's getting worse for me and I really don't know what to do about it Although I am paricularly down about having to give up running and triathlon at the moment. I really wish someone could show me the Australia they all love, because I'm obviously missing something I miss the feeling of belonging to something. I feel I belong and connect to England. In my mind when I go back England (Somerset) the country says 'welcome back' but Australia says to me 'you still here?' I'm probably not putting that very well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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