Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 A middle aged woman had a heart attackand was taken to hospital, while on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked " Is my time up? " God said " No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 3 daysto live. " Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck, she even had someone in to dye her hair, since she had so much time to live, she figured that she might aswell look her best an enjoy herself. After the last operation, she was released from the hospital, but while crossing the road she was struck and killed by an ambulance. Arriving at the pearly gates she confronted God and asked, " You said i had more than 40 years left? why didn't you pull me out of the way from the ambulance????? " God replied " I didn't recognise you! " Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 :chatterbox::chatterbox::chatterbox: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 mm no food there then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Men Jokes After the party, as the couple was driving home, the woman asks her husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?" The flattered husband said, "No, dear they haven't." The wife yells, "Then what the heck gave you THAT idea at the party tonight?" :arghh::arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast *is* hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Mam, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 How many blondes does it take to make popcorn? Four. One to hold the pan, and three to shake the stove :arghh::arghh::arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 "Excuse me, could you tell me the time?" asked the blonde of a man on the street corner. "Sure....it's three fifteen,"he replied with a smile. "Thanks," she said, a puzzled look crossing her face."You know, it's the weirdest thing-I've been asking that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer. :arghh::arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring. :dull::dull::dull: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Two blonds were walking through the woods, when they came upon some tracks. The first blond said "They're deer tracks." The second blond said "No, I think they are bear tracks." Suddenly they were hit by the train.:twitcy::twitcy::arghh::arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 One for Eddie, to cheer him up......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 A game for the girl's to play......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Another for the girlie's............... Mr KP Nut. Dam forgot the attachment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Another for the girlie's.............. Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Thanks mr nuts , that fat bird done it for me :jiggy::jiggy::jiggy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 OOO here's 1 more............ Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Look just incase you cant figure out the other's here's another......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Summink for the guy's, unfortunately it never went on general sale as was deeme not powerful to get through to a woman...... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Obviously the womens version was too far fetched......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 How THE GIRL'S like to think they are.............. Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 An obviously how we know some of them are.......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 An i know i should'nt proably do this but WHAT IS THE VOD looking at, as if we hav'nt upset an incured the wrath of enough women......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KP Nuts Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Sorry, VOD, we know what your going through.......... Mr KP Nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 great one :arghh::arghh::arghh::arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.