The Ozcans Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 Summer Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 17th 2008 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental ! Differen ces Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Th ursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined < B> Class 1 0 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Your Mother and Your Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techn iques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Wednesday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ozcans Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.. It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb). The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.. It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb). The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs Mally Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 You Might Have PMS If... 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-555-5555" 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male. 8. You're counting down the days until menopause. 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The Ibuprofen bottle is empty and you just bought it yesterday. 11. To you, the initials "PMS" stand for "Punish Men Severely eddie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Women - Did You Know? There are 3 BILLION women who don't look like supermodels and only 8 who do? Marilyn Monroe wore a size 12. If Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions. The average American woman weighs 144 lb. and wears between a size 12 and 14. If shop mannequins were real women, they'd be too thin to menstruate. One out of every 4 college aged women has an eating disorder The models in the magazines are airbrushed they're not perfect!! A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at models in a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and shameful. Models who twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman, today weigh 23% less. An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing," on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ozcans Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Old Chinese Saying: The man is the head of the household; The woman is the neck that turns the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 YouTube - WATCH OUT WOMEN DRIVERS ABOUT!!! Caution swearing in song. women driving omg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 YouTube - The Worst Woman Driver EVER The worst women driver ever. eddie lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 YouTube - Ugly Woman Turn the sound up. eddie lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tim Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 :biggrinxmas:Eddie - i don't think the girls are biting... I think they know we have won. :tonguexmas: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 YouTube - IDS: Slept with an Ugly Woman very funny eddie lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Top 10 Things Only Women Understand 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoe in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your last time. 5. The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell. 4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow. 3. Romantic stuff like mushy cards and flowers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. And the number one thing only women understand: 1. Other women!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Things you'll NEVER hear one woman say to another woman That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim? Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think I'll go introduce myself! His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and I'm happy for them both. If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody. He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him. I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day! We're redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him with the color choices! He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy! Why I just realized -- my butt doesn't look fat in this -- my butt *is* fat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Marty Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Ahh,,you've met the wife !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Men Are Just Happier People - Sickening eh! Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You can never be pregnant. Chocolate is just another snack. You can open all your own jars. You can play with toys all your life. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Car mechanics tell you the truth. Your underwear is $9.95 for a three-pack. You never have strap problems in public. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You! are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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