Guest singlemum Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Srp .. How very true. This man is obviously not abandoning his children. ( I am sorry to hear about your ex and how she went about things, completely guttless.) All I hope is that he has an understanding ex who will help support him from the UK, it all too often goes sour and this will not help his situation with the kids .. but they don't have to grow up hating him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynne1266 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Hi, I have twin daughters from a previous marriage and their Dad moved to OZ just over 4yrs ago when they were 15yrs old. He told them when he started the visa application and I have to say that they were heart broken, I had told him that he couldn't add them to his application and they blamed me at because they thought they would never see him and i went through hell with them for a while. He got his visa in August 2005 and move Sept 12 the same year..just as my girls had started their final year of school..you can guess how it effected them. Well..its 4yrs on and in fact its their 20th birthday and he sent a meaningless card that you would send to someone that you know, they went to visit him when they finished school and he came here for their 18th birthday but apart from that he hasn't bothered, he doesn't call them that much either. I think your timing needs to be right for the childrens sake and also don't forget they are here...call them as often as you can and see them as much as possible. Hope this helps. Lynne xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I dont think the poster has any intention of 'Abandoning the children' Abandoning the children is what my first wife did ...... She went to a Christmas party, disapeared for two days and then phoned me at 4.15am to tell me she was in Canada. she left to be with her internet lover. I had to raise the children and try to explain to them what had happened. That is abandoning your children. I beleive that the poster wants to involve the children in his move and although he is moving across the globe he wants to know the best way to explain to his kids what he is doing and why. I wish my children had been given that oppourtunity by their mother. We do not know the personal circumstances of the posters position and I try not to judge anyones circumstances.. As the saying goes... been there, done that got the tea shirt....... What the poster is doing may not be right in some peoples eyes and I would imagine he has agonised over his decision, but by wanting to explain to his kids, he is showing that he loves them. Sorry, I actually had my father in mind .... All I am saying this is what the children may or may not think. This is what we thought. I only cried at my Dad's funeral in pity for myself and brother because my dad deprived us of a father for his own selfish needs, ie emigrating to South Africa and dumping all of us. In the end he knew that he made a bad decision but by this time it was too late. We were all grown up and had families of our own. You cannot turn back the clocks .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 Sorry, In the end he knew that he made a bad decision but by this time it was too late. We were all grown up and had families of our own. You cannot turn back the clocks .. That is so very true, that is why these things need to be handled with sensitivity. :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 That is so very true, that is why these things need to be handled with sensitivity. :notworthy:[/QUOTe I understand that. My intention is not to make anyone feel guilty for the decisions we all have to make in life. I just wanted to put my experience across and that life is just not that simple. The consequence of the choice my dad made effected us all and not for the better. I just hope I am never in that position to make this kind of choice. i wish them all the luck in the world.:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sazzle76 Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 OMG.. I feel for you sooo much. Having read your thread I didnt notice what kind of relationship you have with your kids. Do you see them often?? Is your ex with a new partner? Is she willing to let them travel over by themselves to see you and is this an affordability option for you and your ex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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