melpaul Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Hi peps my 16 year old son wants to go back to the uk for a holiday he desparetly needs to go back but myself and my hubby are to busy with work and house build he doesnt wish to fly back on his own and im not to happy to let him go on his own just wish i knew someone flying from melb to london in dec i have told him that the airhostess will help but hes still wont but i cant get time off work to go back and i now he realy wants to go and visit friends and family i feel for him but also is it to early to go back as only been here a year im afraid he may not come back if i dont go back with him :arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 What is he scared of? Loads of kids do it on their own - one of mine started at 9 on his own and didnt have a problem. Is it just the flight or is it the whole holiday thing that he is anxious about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toomers Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Hi peps my 16 year old son wants to go back to the uk for a holiday he desparetly needs to go back but myself and my hubby are to busy with work and house build he doesnt wish to fly back on his own and im not to happy to let him go on his own just wish i knew someone flying from melb to london in dec i have told him that the airhostess will help but hes still wont but i cant get time off work to go back and i now he realy wants to go and visit friends and family i feel for him but also is it to early to go back as only been here a year im afraid he may not come back if i dont go back with him :arghh: I feel for you, a very hard situation to be in... My Honest feeling is, if he doenst feel old enough to travel on his own then he isnt old enough to go.... if he needs to have his hand held to fly back to the UK then he will probably end up creating about returing to Oz when he has to.. he will have spent time with friends ect so wont want to go back.. all additional heart ache and problems for you. If he was my child I would make it a condition that if he can not travel alone he isnt mature enough to go...there will always be the risk that he wont come back but if he proves himself mature enough to travel then you will know he may be ready to go it alone.. good luck.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melpaul Posted October 18, 2009 Author Share Posted October 18, 2009 I think hes afraid hell mis his conecting flight iv told him that there will be people he can ask i have also told him that plenty of children younger than him have flown on their own he may also be afraid of flight but hasent said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melpaul Posted October 18, 2009 Author Share Posted October 18, 2009 He is also looking forward to starting an apprentiship in feb this is why he wants to go back for christmas because once he starts his app he wont be able to go back i feel he is very mature in somethings but as you say he may not be mature enough to fly just yet i think im gona have to go back with him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 He is also looking forward to starting an apprentiship in feb this is why he wants to go back for christmas because once he starts his app he wont be able to go back i feel he is very mature in somethings but as you say he may not be mature enough to fly just yet i think im gona have to go back with him Whos the wuss you or him ,in my mmind both of you ,I woukd have sold my granny for the opotunity , if hes startin his apprenticeship say no your life is here like yours m live here . (r is he going to do arunner when h gets there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janieco Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Hi peps my 16 year old son wants to go back to the uk for a holiday he desparetly needs to go back but myself and my hubby are to busy with work and house build he doesnt wish to fly back on his own and im not to happy to let him go on his own just wish i knew someone flying from melb to london in dec i have told him that the airhostess will help but hes still wont but i cant get time off work to go back and i now he realy wants to go and visit friends and family i feel for him but also is it to early to go back as only been here a year im afraid he may not come back if i dont go back with him :arghh: Oh dear i think you have got a major problem about to unfold. I dont want to be dramatic but your son is what you know deep down '' DESPARATE TO GO HOME''. Iam speaking from experience as i did this to my parents and they had a battle to get me back here. I was 15 and my mum was with me at the time. Iam curious to know who he will be staying with as i was at my Nanns and that made me want to stay in the U.K. even more. If i had been with some one who i wasnt that comfortable with i think it would have been easier for my parents. I think you really need to open communication with him about his feelings and try to find a solution, not easy i know. May be you could suggest not going and getting his apprentiship under way with a view to saving money and iam sure he will get holidays in a years time. I think a sound plan and boundarys may keep things on an even keil and he will be at least another year older. Ultimatly i think theres every chance he will eventually go back. Iam 45 years old now and finally iam going back some time in the next 2 years and i wont be returning. Your only power at this point is to say financially it is just not a good time with new house build and newly arriving here etc. try to get him as mature enough as you can before he goes and that only comes with time. Try to push the fact that he needs to earn money to assist with his return in a years time....good luck, dont underestimate the depth of feeling kids have when you emmigrate it can be far reaching xxoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melpaul Posted October 18, 2009 Author Share Posted October 18, 2009 Oh dear i think you have got a major problem about to unfold. I dont want to be dramatic but your son is what you know deep down '' DESPARATE TO GO HOME''. Iam speaking from experience as i did this to my parents and they had a battle to get me back here. I was 15 and my mum was with me at the time. Iam curious to know who he will be staying with as i was at my Nanns and that made me want to stay in the U.K. even more. If i had been with some one who i wasnt that comfortable with i think it would have been easier for my parents. I think you really need to open communication with him about his feelings and try to find a solution, not easy i know. May be you could suggest not going and getting his apprentiship under way with a view to saving money and iam sure he will get holidays in a years time. I think a sound plan and boundarys may keep things on an even keil and he will be at least another year older. Ultimatly i think theres every chance he will eventually go back. Iam 45 years old now and finally iam going back some time in the next 2 years and i wont be returning. Your only power at this point is to say financially it is just not a good time with new house build and newly arriving here etc. try to get him as mature enough as you can before he goes and that only comes with time. Try to push the fact that he needs to earn money to assist with his return in a years time....good luck, dont underestimate the depth of feeling kids have when you emmigrate it can be far reaching xxoo Thanks for your wise words he to would be staying with his nan then his nan and my son would be flying back a week before he starts his app i have asked him if he wanted to go back for good and he has said no he mises peps but the uk just hasent got any jobs for him and he feels that aus is going to give him a better life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest proud2beaussie Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 If he is apprehensive about flying on his own my advice would be to discuss this with the airline before he flies,they will make sure he is well looked after onboard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wanderer Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I second janieco's wise words and sometimes there's also tough love. I'd be getting him involved with your building program even more than what you may have already and if he isn't in school, how about have him look at some courses or whatever, get to mix more with people out here. Is it just that he hasn't yet made some good friends here?, for if he had, I would not have thought wanting to return at such a young age after only 12 months would be too essential. As one whose parents were extremely mobile, I know what it was like moving into new surroundings, new school, making new friends etc., but it happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janieco Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 Thanks for your wise words he to would be staying with his nan then his nan and my son would be flying back a week before he starts his app i have asked him if he wanted to go back for good and he has said no he mises peps but the uk just hasent got any jobs for him and he feels that aus is going to give him a better life Hi there well iam pleased to know he is staying with his Nan and the great news that she is returning with him. You will need to get her on board with the situation, really get her to convey how she couldnt do the flight to Oz without him etc. As for the getting on the flight by himself, i would be fair but firm, ''if you want this you have to do this by your self ''. Play the " well maybe you dont want to go that much if you cant see the flight through on your own. I need to be here to get house ready etc for you and Nan when you get back etc. My own daughter is 16 and was very dependent on me for a long time. I have come to learn that i wasnt doing her any favours in the long run, and came across a saying '' do not do for any child, some thing that with struggle , they can do for themselves" It nearly killed me lol but today both of us are so much better off. She is a brilliant kid and i learnt that the sense of achievement she experienced was such a positve thing that doing stuff for her had actually hindered her not helped. It was met with a bit of fear and resistance initially and we just eased in to it but iam so glad that we did. She is first in line to try some thing new now, not wringing her hands thinking i cant do that. May be a list of what to expect during each getting on off plane { compiled by both of you } and what certain terms mean ie; transit ,customs etc i know it sounds stupid but the simplest of things can seem daunting when we are stressed. Hope this helps xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janieco Posted October 18, 2009 Share Posted October 18, 2009 I second janieco's wise words and sometimes there's also tough love. I'd be getting him involved with your building program even more than what you may have already and if he isn't in school, how about have him look at some courses or whatever, get to mix more with people out here. Is it just that he hasn't yet made some good friends here?, for if he had, I would not have thought wanting to return at such a young age after only 12 months would be too essential. As one whose parents were extremely mobile, I know what it was like moving into new surroundings, new school, making new friends etc., but it happens. Great advice wanderer, i think by the end of the week we should have this problem licked for melpaul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Oh dear Mel, it sounds like you have your hands full with Luke. I would not have thought he would have ever been worried about travelling alone, are you sure it's not you who is more worried than him:biglaugh: I know I would be if it was one of mine. How about you both go back, then neither of you needs to worry, only Paul lol:) Good luck hun. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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