i feel i have made huge mistake

[Guest greengables]

It's very upsetting all around and an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Personally I couldn't do it so soon for the second time unless I had the full support and willingness of the family and I was absolutely 100% sure that Australia was where I wanted to be. If your husband and daughters are keen to try again that's great and go for it! If however they are upset then you need to consider the pressure that trying to move again will put on you. If you didn't like Australia the first time there are no guarantees you are going to like it any better the second time around. How will you feel if you go through the whole upheaval again only to find that you are no happier than before? It would be an enormous amount of guilt and pressure to carry around on your shoulders. At least now your daughters are settling back into their life again and you have worked hard to get them back to their old schools and to make the transition back as seamless as possible. Maybe you could sit down and talk to them to gauge their reactions, let them know that no immediate decisions are going to be made but that it's something that you would like everyone to stay open to while you do a bit more research and planning and that you will keep them informed every step of the way. Even if you let your oldest daughter finish high school with her friends in the UK while you plan the trip and help your younger daughter come to terms with it all? I guess at that stage though the eldest may decide she doesn't want to come to Australia at all and would prefer to continue her Uni studies in the UK - it's a difficult age really. Moving with teenagers is hard and you have to think ahead to what will happen when they are 18. Will they want to return to the UK? Will they want to stay in Australia just as you start thinking about wanting to go back to the UK? You can end up with the immediate family unit scattered and although this works beautifully for a lot of families who travel around the world to visit each other it can be heartbreaking for others to find that their dreams of migration have pulled the family apart.

Perhaps the conflict you feel about trying a second time is because you know in your heart that it isn't the best thing for them right now - you are clearly a loving Mum to them both and you have done everything to make this difficult time as easy as possible for them. I just think that it would be a lot of pressure on you and your OH to try it all a second time with 2 very upset and unwilling daughters in tow who have already been through the process once. Perhaps your Australia dream is something that can be postponed for a little while. Or they may surprise you and really want to try Australia again which I hope turns out to be the case for you. Good luck.

[Guest guest32067]

It's very upsetting all around and an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Personally I couldn't do it so soon for the second time unless I had the full support and willingness of the family and I was absolutely 100% sure that Australia was where I wanted to be. If your husband and daughters are keen to try again that's great and go for it! If however they are upset then you need to consider the pressure that trying to move again will put on you. If you didn't like Australia the first time there are no guarantees you are going to like it any better the second time around. How will you feel if you go through the whole upheaval again only to find that you are no happier than before? It would be an enormous amount of guilt and pressure to carry around on your shoulders. At least now your daughters are settling back into their life again and you have worked hard to get them back to their old schools and to make the transition back as seamless as possible. Maybe you could sit down and talk to them to gauge their reactions, let them know that no immediate decisions are going to be made but that it's something that you would like everyone to stay open to while you do a bit more research and planning and that you will keep them informed every step of the way. Even if you let your oldest daughter finish high school with her friends in the UK while you plan the trip and help your younger daughter come to terms with it all? I guess at that stage though the eldest may decide she doesn't want to come to Australia at all and would prefer to continue her Uni studies in the UK - it's a difficult age really. Moving with teenagers is hard and you have to think ahead to what will happen when they are 18. Will they want to return to the UK? Will they want to stay in Australia just as you start thinking about wanting to go back to the UK? You can end up with the immediate family unit scattered and although this works beautifully for a lot of families who travel around the world to visit each other it can be heartbreaking for others to find that their dreams of migration have pulled the family apart.

Perhaps the conflict you feel about trying a second time is because you know in your heart that it isn't the best thing for them right now - you are clearly a loving Mum to them both and you have done everything to make this difficult time as easy as possible for them. I just think that it would be a lot of pressure on you and your OH to try it all a second time with 2 very upset and unwilling daughters in tow who have already been through the process once. Perhaps your Australia dream is something that can be postponed for a little while. Or they may surprise you and really want to try Australia again which I hope turns out to be the case for you. Good luck.

Hi, my o/h loved it in Oz and would still be there. I did like Oz, yes i did at that time think that the Uk would be better and i now know that i was wrong, i gave in. Our eldest finish high school next year here, we have already said we will not do anything until then. I could not leave either one of my girls behind. Things will work out i know where ever it will be.

[Guest treesea]

It's always a dilemma emigrating with children. Sure, you don't want to leave your children behind, but eventually they may return home and leave you behind. I've got Australian children. Even though I prefer living in Britain to Australia, I realise, just as my parents did when they emigrated, that there's a chance my children will want to return to their home just like I have returned to mine.

 

My children still have their Australian friends, - thank goodness for the internet - and they have now been living in Britain for years. I found growing up without my aunties, uncles, grandparents and cousins kind of lonely. We missed out on so much just because we weren't in England. Weddings, our cousins' new babies, new cousins, come to that, hunting for Easter eggs in the garden (not quite the same in Australia, because sometimes they melt), tobogganing, spending time with our grandparents and our godparents, Bournemouth, going to see the witch (Mother Shipton, Knaresborough, definitely a magical place).

 

I don't want my grandchildren to miss out on their grandparents.Or should I say be deprived of their grandparents the way we were deprived of ours. So if our children decided to go back, then we probably would too. Probably to Sydney rather than the other places we've lived over the years (Melbourne, Brisbane and the Gold Coast). That's one good thing - at least after living in a few cities in Australia, we know where we prefer to live there :-)

[Guest adamsfamily]

I came out at exactly the same time as you (1st Sept 2008) and have to say that January was an all time low for me. Unbearable constant heat and homesickness. Maybe there's something about the 4 month mark.

 

 

Hi, i actually think it is more about the January time of year full stop. It is a very depressing month for a lot of people and hindsight is a wonderful thing eh? I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do, life changing decisions are never easy.

 

take care, Adams Family - four months in and loving itx