Guest petmarchehol Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 my question is people who move back is it just one of family who hates it or all of family. i have been here 3 months and it has felt wrong from start but hubby and kids love it i will give it 6 months but just want to go home oz not what i thought it would be and i think uk more to do . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 It was just me who hated it, never felt so unhappy, hubby loved it, i just knew i it wasn't somewhere i never wanted to spend the rest of my life and wouldn't be a better future for the kids. Kids thought it was great, but didn't know any better, cos i told them it would be great, but after nearly 7 months, came back to uk, and kids (aged 5 and 9) have actually told me now back home and are comparing everything for themselves, that they are really happy to be back, miss nothing about oz, (even though i ask them) and just love being back in English school, seeing family and freinds, and suppose, coming back to...normallity!! But i don't regret doing it, never will, cos if i hadn't, i would never have known. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest petmarchehol Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 thank you meme did your husband come back with you ok and had you sold everything in uk to come to oz like us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Once again, it is each to their own. It was good that you tried it though. You mentioned Melbourne was dull? I have lived in the UK for many years and also Melbourne where I live now. My experience is that any place is what you make it - there were some days when I was living in a dirty basement flat along the railway line in Earl's court/west kensington, cold and with not a lot of money to buy food, many years ago, that I thought I was having a 'dull' time. I find that in each place you go in the world, there are always things to find to do. Most weekends now, I take my teenage kids exploring Victoria and its capital, Melbourne. In recent times I have taken them up to Bendigo/Dunolly gold detecting and exploring other old country towns. Or a drive in the Dandenong Ranges to have a coffee in one of the many cafe's and galleries. Or a drive to Geelong for a walk along the waterfront. Or into the city to walk along the Yarra river or along the beautiful Botannical Gardens. Or to one of the Zoos, especially Werribee Zoo which also has a fantastic 'African Nights' music and food during the summer. Or to one of the outdoor drive in movie theatres. Or a walk along the riverfront at Warrandyte with the dogs in outer eastern Melbourne. Or just a lunch or dinner with friends in one of the many 'villages' in the suburbs where cheap eating places abound. Don't forget shopping at Chadstone Shopping Complex. Or a day out to the theatre to see Witches of Oz or Billy Elliot (about to start in Melbourne in Jan). Or to the cricket (60,000 at the Boxing Day test). Or to the Australian Open. Last night I went to the fantastic village cinema complex to see 'Slumdog millionaire'. Come to think of it, I did all these types of things in London too - went to the city galleries, walked in London's parks, caught a coffee/drink in the West end theatre district. Walked the dog in Hyde Park. Went to Wimbledon, saw Australia play at Lord's. Went to Tottenham football club and cheered them on. I guess for some it is a case of making a life wherever you are, the way we all live is not that different really, is it? I guess though that home is where the heart it is, and often doesn't have to do with whether a place is perceived to be 'dull' or not. I am glad that you feel you are back where you belong, and that's all that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 We sold EVERYTHING to come to oz. House, cars, furniture, the lot, said our good-byes, with no intention of ever coming back. Hubby thought i was making massive misaake coming back, so agreed i should come back with kids and see if i was not thinking right and he would stay there and if i regretted move after a few weeks/months, i could just come back (we have pr visas), but if i really wanted to be in uk, he would follow us home. I DEFINATELY know it's right decision to be back, but hubby hasn't followed yet as is very torn what to do, feels like it's a wasted opportunity and we gave up and spent so much to get there, so is in between a rock and a hard place, as he thinks i will still come back (no chance!) but is very reluctant to come home. I just think he needs time to get oz out his system. Oz does strange things to peoples minds. I have a friend from uk who came to oz just after me, who had the same issues as me about oz,just didn't like it and was very unhappy, she left not long ago, left her husband there too, he really loved it there, but is now thinkng of following her home for good in about 6 months (he is tied up in work contracts, etc). At the end of the day, home is where the heart is, never a truer saying. You KNOW if oz is for you, and it makes it harder people saying you have to give it more time, etc, i was told that, and the weight that fell offf my shoulders coming back home was unbelieveable, as i was just SO miserable there, i was dying inside. I KNEW that oz wasn't for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest petmarchehol Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 i'm so glad to you meme to know someone who feels like me about oz. i cannot get uk out of my head and miss my folks lots. i miss uk countryside lots and even the cold . it is soo hot in oz . iam sweating all day. hubby working his butt off here and i worry for him. i feel sick sometimes just wanting to go home. he says what is there to miss in uk . my 2 girls are 12 and 10 and i hope this experience has not messed up their schooling. the other day i woke up looked out of the window and thought oh no it is sunny again. yesterday i was feeling ill because it was so hot but other ladies here said heat was nothing yesterdday. so instead of staying in in uk because of cold you stay in because too hot. having now experienced it i would rather put on a jumper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Once again, it is each to their own. It was good that you tried it though. You mentioned Melbourne was dull? I have lived in the UK for many years and also Melbourne where I live now. My experience is that any place is what you make it - there were some days when I was living in a dirty basement flat along the railway line in Earl's court/west kensington, cold and with not a lot of money to buy food, many years ago, that I thought I was having a 'dull' time. I find that in each place you go in the world, there are always things to find to do. Most weekends now, I take my teenage kids exploring Victoria and its capital, Melbourne. In recent times I have taken them up to Bendigo/Dunolly gold detecting and exploring other old country towns. Or a drive in the Dandenong Ranges to have a coffee in one of the many cafe's and galleries. Or a drive to Geelong for a walk along the waterfront. Or into the city to walk along the Yarra river or along the beautiful Botannical Gardens. Or to one of the Zoos, especially Werribee Zoo which also has a fantastic 'African Nights' music and food during the summer. Or to one of the outdoor drive in movie theatres. Or a walk along the riverfront at Warrandyte with the dogs in outer eastern Melbourne. Or just a lunch or dinner with friends in one of the many 'villages' in the suburbs where cheap eating places abound. Don't forget shopping at Chadstone Shopping Complex. Or a day out to the theatre to see Witches of Oz or Billy Elliot (about to start in Melbourne in Jan). Or to the cricket (60,000 at the Boxing Day test). Or to the Australian Open. Last night I went to the fantastic village cinema complex to see 'Slumdog millionaire'. Come to think of it, I did all these types of things in London too - went to the city galleries, walked in London's parks, caught a coffee/drink in the West end theatre district. Walked the dog in Hyde Park. Went to Wimbledon, saw Australia play at Lord's. Went to Tottenham football club and cheered them on. I guess for some it is a case of making a life wherever you are, the way we all live is not that different really, is it? I guess though that home is where the heart it is, and often doesn't have to do with whether a place is perceived to be 'dull' or not. I am glad that you feel you are back where you belong, and that's all that matters. I came to realise that i had a VERY nice life in England that i left behind, lovely home, kids in great school, did loads of great things as a family, but still thought it could all be better. As far as I'M concerned, Melbourne IS dull. We too, walked along the Yarra River, went to exhibitions, and events, sampled the local cafes and restaurants, went to Chadstones many a time (hey, once you've seen one shopping centre, you have seen them all!) Checked out the local beaches, travelled down to Philip Island and sat on the beach and watched the penquins come in for the night, hand fed Kangeroos, watched the Koalas sh****ng from the trees, went to Sufrers Paradise for to weeks, checked out beaches, did Movie Wordl etc....so don't try and insinuate, i never gave it all a go, cos as far as I'M concerned all that weares off, not enough to kep me there and leave behind what i did. The proof is in the pudding, i'm very happy to be home sweet home.....I will enjoy my hols to europe when i fancy one, jump in the pool, go to breakfast, or go to the beach, while the maid is cleaning my room, and when it's all over go HOME, and look forward to the next one. I don't need to travel 15000 miles for a 'better ' quality of life, it's all right here on my door step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I too woried about messing up the kids education, moving to the other side of the world is a big decision and not one to be taken lightly, but you think you are doing it for all the right reasons and it will work out right in the end and everyone will benefit, especially the kids, so it's justifiable. But when your thinking of coming home, you beat yourself up so much about it all, cos it's not like driving up and down the motorway, your dragging them to the other side of the world and back, and you think your messing them up so much. But i knew i didn't want to sty in oz, i was even in denial, but then i woried, what if i forced myself to give it more time, like every one says, stay for 2 years, then think, 'right i've had enough, im going home', then the kids will have missed such a big chunk of the English Education, it will be so hard for them to catch up, where as over there, they are about 2 years behind the English Education system, so they are in front. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest petmarchehol Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 meme don't you miss your hubby and how did you cope when you went home was it a big relief straight away i want to go home now but i agreed to give it 6 months so the kids say i have got to give it 6 months. another 3 months to go . i can see myself giving my folks a great big hug and can't wait i don't know if i will last 3 months . did you buy house in oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Australia is certainly different - must say that it is different in a way that doesnt appeal to me either but I have no choice but to stay here. If I were at the beginning of the life journey here then I would definitely have been far more insistent about going home to UK to live. I yearn for the green countryside, the hedgerows with the changing seasons, a history that is there all the time and relevant to me (sorry but a few grinding stones and an ever increasing mythology about natural features just doesnt float my boat), the variety that you get with a 2 hour drive anywhere, the people with their sense of humour and sense of community, London - warts and all. Sheesh, I could go on for ever but that isnt the question you asked. If you dont think you will belong, you are probably right and after you have given it a decent try then go home! Your kids will be fine if you make a decision within the next 12 - 18 months, after that it gets a bit more precarious with GCSEs etc raising their ugly heads. There is nothing magic about this as a place to live, it is just that, a place to live. There is nothing inherently "better" about what it offers your kids either in the short or the long term so make the decision which makes you feel better and like you belong! All the best with it, I envy you the ability to make the decision to enjoy your UK lives to the full! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 God no!!..i never bought a house in oz, i was very close to doing so though! I would have been devestaed if we had! I miss my husband dreadfully, but my state of mind would have deteriated so much if i had stayed. I was SO SO miserable.. to everyone, my hubby, kids, i wasn't interested in ANYTHING to do with oz. The minute i got off that plane at b.ham airport, it was like a weight fell off my shoulders, the feeling of 'coming home' was immense, cos i had thought and wanted it SO badly, it was wonderful. I used to wake up in oz and open my eyes and think'oh my god, im still here', it was such a dreadful feeling, not that i wasn't glad to be alive, i was just still there!!.. if you know what i mean?! I knew in my heart i didn't belong there, i really couldn't stay, it would have died even more inside than i was, until you have experienced it, you will never know. It all went round and round in my head 24/7, i just had to make the decision and stick to it, and that's what i did, i don't regret it for a moment, i don't miss oz at all, i just embrace everything here and am so glad to be back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 0405delboy Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I feel for the people that want to go home because I know that feeling. I would say go ASAP, the more it drags on here the harder it may be for kids. Its all fine and dandy if you have a job to go to everyday or the inclination to go rockclimbing and pig-shooting and all that jazz but the true test is when you're tied to the homestead. It seems to me that the women find it harder to settle over here. My Mum went home, my Grandad visitted but cut it short because of the heat and he missed his social activities back home and my younger sister had her chance to live here but declined after less than a years stay. If theres one thing I know, if Mum aint happy - no ones happy!:yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest petmarchehol Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 meme you sound just like me i am so glad i wrote this blog and that you answered. we have made 2 offers on houses which thank god we didn't get . people say get a house you will feel more settled but i know i do not want to stay here. i am glad of experience as we would have always wondered but i now know my heart is in the uk. i too feel dead inside and want to go home but as i promised everyone 6 months i feel i have to do that as they will always hold it against me. i am miserable all the time , snap at people , cry alot , and dread the next 3 months . i just hope everyone i love back in uk are still there in 3 months time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Sorry, didn't mean to insinuate that you hadn't given it a go. I was only trying to point out that a life can be made anywhere, and any place can be dull if you want it to be. My life here is not dull, if yours was I am sad about that. I fully support anyone who decides to go home after a period of time. No one should beat themselves up about it, it is purely choice. Even reading some of these forums I feel some people come here with huge expectations, maybe that can be a problem? There is warts and all here to, like in most countries in the world. There was a program last November on TV here, can't remember what it was called, but they told the story of an elderly lady who came here after the war with her husband, and had lots of kids and lots of grandchildren. She said that all these years she had missed her home in England and she wanted to go back there to live out her last few years. She said she had given them 50 years or so of her life, and now she 'wanted to go home'. And she did. It was a very heartwarming story I thought, and it is a tale I have heard many times from elderly British women. My mum's friend hated this country from day one and she never got over having to live here. (Everythings too hot, too far and too anything else she can think of). Like many war brides, they fell in love with men who swept them off their feet and then took many of them thousands of miles away into the bush and the heat. So, be happy, nothing else much matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 There was a program last November on TV here, can't remember what it was called, but they told the story of an elderly lady who came here after the war with her husband, and had lots of kids and lots of grandchildren.She said that all these years she had missed her home in England and she wanted to go back there to live out her last few years. She said she had given them 50 years or so of her life, and now she 'wanted to go home'. And she did. It was a very heartwarming story I thought, and it is a tale I have heard many times from elderly British women. Gosh, Olly, I love that story about the lady who wanted to go home to live out her days - too bloody right!!!!!!!!! (to quote the vernacular!) I know exactly how she feels but I have only given 30 years (next March 29th but who is counting??) - you get less time for murder these days! I am so glad that you havent got yourself encumbered with houses etc yet so are free to leave at any moment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 That is a good story because my husband went to the UK for his mum's eightieth and he sat next to a lady from Perth who had lived here the same amount of time and her children were grown and all settled. She was returning to buy a small house and live out the remainder of her life in England. This was in 1988 so probably was a different lady but the same theme. My father's parents went to stay in the USA with my Aunt and they hated it and returned to the UK, later after my Grandmother died my Grandfather returned to live in the States with my Aunt. He returned to the UK when he was 93 for a holiday and he passed away in England sitting on a seat on a station. He had been a Station Master many moons ago so it was apt. He, she and my Uncle are all buried in a little village in Suffolk. We do not feel the need to do this but for some people they really want the connection. Given that my husband has just traced one side of his family back to 1733 in Scotland wonder if he will change his mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sparkyinoz Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 petmarchehol Just wanted to ask you why just 6 months is that all you are going to try......... Think how long did your application take to move to OZ longer than 6 months I am sure.... The heat YES its hot thats OZ for you, but you do get acclimatised after a while, I think u really should give it a year or more at the very least.. I just coming up to 2 years now and am lovin life here yes I miss family n friends always will but this is where I chose to be, what I had dreamed of for so long , ............................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Gosh, Olly, I love that story about the lady who wanted to go home to live out her days - too bloody right!!!!!!!!! (to quote the vernacular!) I know exactly how she feels but I have only given 30 years (next March 29th but who is counting??) - you get less time for murder these days! I am so glad that you havent got yourself encumbered with houses etc yet so are free to leave at any moment! Yes, Quoll, it is a good story. I saw this story the night before I flew out to England for the first time in a while, and I thought about that lady for a while on the plane. How must she have felt at the age of 80 odd going back to her 'village' as she called it. And yet on the other side of the coin, my mum was a 20 year old Glasgow girl who met a sailor on the bus one night who asked her to marry him so he could take her to Australia and have 5 kids. My mum laughed at him and told him to go away, he was on shore leave and had too much to drink. That sailor never went away, did marry her and brought her to Australia in 1947. She hated the heat, and was living in a farmhouse in what then was outer eastern Melbourne, with no aircooling, heaps of flies and snakes etc. She went home three times and loved it. But she came back to her five kids everytime. When she died in 2006, I asked her if she wanted me to take her ashes back to Scotland. She said no. I asked her why not? She said "I'm Australian". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest petmarchehol Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 meme did you ever like oz or did you hate it as soon as you arrived. i took the girls swimming yesterday and it was sad as my oldest child said it was not special anymore like in uk as we do it everyday on site pool. the pool was run down and no lifeguards. i do think oz run down roads are bad and alot of poor people and they say mental health a big problem in oz . it might be as stuck in doors as so hot and you sit there with blinds shut to try and keep cool . alot of people on the mobile home site we are on just lock themselves in their homes all day with blinds shut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi petmarchehol I never hated oz as soon as i arrived, as i had wanted to be there so badly, so i was in a kind of 'holiday' mode for a month or 2. But i must say i remember driving from Melbourne airport to the eastern suburbs we were going to live in and thinking 'hhmmm' not what i expected! Just with the houses, streets, no one about. But i told myself to get over it, as its ment to be different, and different it was, that was it! Reading and researching just isn't good enough to be there and living it, i also had family living 5mins down the road from us too! We had done winter in England, then arrived in Melbourne as winter was starting, never let that bother me to much, but a month or so before we left summer was starting, and reaching 30degrees, and i used to say to kids, do you want to go to the beach, 'no' they would say, it's to hot, want to go to the park? 'no' it's too hot, fancy a picnic in the garden?'no' it's too hot, the kids have always enjoyed the sunshine, but when it came to living in it, they soon tired of it! I also took them to an open swimming pool, (even though, they didn't want to go) after half an hour, they were bored and just too hot!) we went to the inside pool, but they just wanted to go home then, they were not in the mood! The sun isn't everything to enjoy your life style. I heard too from my family who live in Melbourne and his Australian other half that when it gets so hot they just stay indoors with the aircon on, curtains drawn to keep out heat, as the sun is far too dangers to be in... i, too thought, well whats the point?!! But, like i said, i'm still glad i went, i just would have never have known if i hadn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scot-aussie-scot Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Hi petmarchehol I never hated oz as soon as i arrived, as i had wanted to be there so badly, so i was in a kind of 'holiday' mode for a month or 2. But i must say i remember driving from Melbourne airport to the eastern suburbs we were going to live in and thinking 'hhmmm' not what i expected! Just with the houses, streets, no one about. But i told myself to get over it, as its ment to be different, and different it was, that was it! Reading and researching just isn't good enough to be there and living it, i also had family living 5mins down the road from us too! We had done winter in England, then arrived in Melbourne as winter was starting, never let that bother me to much, but a month or so before we left summer was starting, and reaching 30degrees, and i used to say to kids, do you want to go to the beach, 'no' they would say, it's to hot, want to go to the park? 'no' it's too hot, fancy a picnic in the garden?'no' it's too hot, the kids have always enjoyed the sunshine, but when it came to living in it, they soon tired of it! I also took them to an open swimming pool, (even though, they didn't want to go) after half an hour, they were bored and just too hot!) we went to the inside pool, but they just wanted to go home then, they were not in the mood! The sun isn't everything to enjoy your life style. I heard too from my family who live in Melbourne and his Australian other half that when it gets so hot they just stay indoors with the aircon on, curtains drawn to keep out heat, as the sun is far too dangers to be in... i, too thought, well whats the point?!! But, like i said, i'm still glad i went, i just would have never have known if i hadn't. Meme - the sort of temperatures you are quoting only happen at the height of summer in Melbourne I'm sure. The flip side to this is what are you doing with your kids in the freezing cold UK winter? On balance I'd still say that despite the very hot weather in Oz during the height of summer, the opportunity for kids to play safely outside is much greater. Interesting to hear your points on Melbourne though as that is where we are contemplating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 I forgot to say, even when we went on holiday to Surfers Pardaise for 2 weeks, my youngest asked me what country we were in when we landed, and i said still Australia, she couldn't get her head round we had just been on a plane and were still in oz, and they both didn't feel it was right on their holiday as they were just surrounded by the same people, same shops, etc, just seemed to be a different area of oz! Even though in a hotel, but just wasn't 'different' to what they were used too, expected to be picked up by a little Spanish/greek/french man in a taxi from airport!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 scott-aussie-scot These were the temeratures we experienced before we went back home, and it WAS hot!! To tell the you the truth, being back in UK in the 'height' of winter, doesn't bother us anymore, the weather just isn't everything! I do not moan about the cold now, i just put me scarf and coat on, and get on with it!! I would rather be here right now, than there!! I COULD have stayed for the summer, but chose to come home to blighty EVEN for the winter!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scot-aussie-scot Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 for me it's not the cold. a dry crisp cold day is great. it's the wind, rain and getting dark at 4pm that depresses me! but I agree that the hot weather can be just as aggravating. When we came back from Oz in 1987 it was in February and I went from playing cricket / football at school lunchtime to just wandering about the school corridors keeping out of the cold and rain - totally depressing as a teenager coming back to Scotland. We lived in Newcastle NSW which would be a shade warmer than Melbourne as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest meme Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 From the winter i experienced in Melbourne, pretty much the same as uk, wind, rain, AND started to get dark from 5pm (which, was a suprise), but just doesn't get AS cold, even though we did scrap ice off the car a few times in the morning, believe it or not!! The heating stayed on from April to September-ish! Coming back to Scotland in Feb as a teenager, being used to the oudoor life style in Oz, couldn't have been nice, with it being so cold in Scotland plus your emotions of being back also...how long were you and your family in Oz? why did you come back? (sorry if i'm being to personal) But this is one of the reasons why i didn't want to give 'years' to Oz, because how it might affect the kids if i ended up coming back years later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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