When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn

[Brisbane Susan]

My husband and I are temporarily living back in England.  In October last year, both of our elderly parents in England collapsed within days of one another. We knew we would have to return and it was decided that I would fly out first as my Dad was the sicker of the two parents.  I then had to go through applying for permission to leave Australia, which took a week.  I flew out at the end of October, with my husband staying behind to find someone to look after our two dogs, sort out the house, lend the car to the kids etc.  Unfortunately I was greeted at Heathrow Airport with the news that my Dad had died whilst I was mid-air, which was pretty devastating.  I just thought I would post this as an encouragement to be better prepared than we were.  We knew our parents were becoming more frail and of course we could do nothing about the restrictions imposed upon us by the pandemic, but we weren't ready and in retrospect, we should have been. I have always kept enough for two air fares in a separate savings account, but it wasn't nearly enough.  We don't know how long we will be here as my mother-in-law is still sick and deteriorating but not quite at end of life yet.  We don't want to come back to Australia, do two weeks quarantine and then have to turn around and come back again, so we have decided to rent here and stay for most of this year.  Fortunately my husband is retired and I have very understanding and supportive employers who have allowed me to take long-term unpaid leave.  Some of you may be lucky enough to be able to stay with family or friends but that was not an option for us as the three sets of people we would usually stay with were all in the middle of their own house moves!  We have rented a one-bedroom flat on the East Sussex coast, close to Brighton.  We are paying 1,200 pounds per month but that includes water, internet and came partly furnished.  I looked at several rental properties and to be honest, once the rent drops below 1,000 pounds per month, in this area the accommodation becomes a bit more 'student-orientated' (smaller, studio flat, not very well kept etc).  

Considerations to factor in include : Council tax - for us this will be 433 pounds (Council Tax Band B), TV licence (168 pounds for 12 months), mobile phone plans, internet/Wi-Fi, power bills (very expensive over here and not many deals available due to many electricity companies folding), food is comparable in cost to Australia.  Eating out is more expensive here.  Deciding whether to be a tax resident here or in Australia (if this happened to you, would you need to work to support yourselves or could you afford to stay here perhaps for several months without working?).  Parking - where we are staying, nearly everything is either on parking meters or you have to apply for a residents parking permit, a winter wardrobe (coming from Brisbane, I had to buy lots of winter clothing including coat and boots).  Naturally there were layers of paperwork around having to rent and we had to prove our identification and earnings/savings/income.  If you are working you may need to get a letter from your employer if you cannot provide previous renting references (we are home-owners in Australia and had not rented for many years).  My husband estimates that it is about 50% more expensive to live here than in Australia.  Public transport costs, particularly on trains, is very expensive.  I applied for a Seniors National Rail Card, which was well worth getting as it saves me up to 1/3 on fares.  Electricity and petrol 30-50% more expensive.  It is not as easy to get face to face medical consultations here although we were very lucky as we signed up to a local large medical centre and were accepted straight away, but I believe that it is not always that easy to get in somewhere.  My NHS number was out of date, but I discovered that on registering with a GP, they generate your new NHS number if required.  GST is 10% versus VAT being 20%.  Moving the Australian dollar to England was a reasonable rate, which we transferred in smaller blocks as we needed it.  On a lighter note and between all the sorrow and life admin pertaining to our parents, we have managed a few beautiful walks, enjoyed some cosy pub dinners, open fires, carveries and various treats such as my favourite chocolate.  It has been wonderful to catch up with our adult children who live here after not seeing them so long due to covid and we are determined to make the most of our unexpected time here and have already re-joined the National Trust and English Heritage.  We are fortunate to be able to frequently borrow our adult children's car so do not intend to buy one whilst we are here.  I hope that this post helps someone on this forum who may be facing a similar dilemma to us.  

Edited January 9, 2022 by Brisbane Susan
Addition

[Quoll]

Susan, I am so sorry for your loss and for the situation you find yourself in. I was in your shoes exactly in 2011when we went on holiday to UK and didn't return until March 2020. For us, the lingering was 9 years (which we really didn't expect) but we obviously had it easier than you because we squatted in my parents back bedroom and we didn't have to pay rent (or the TV licence!). I think had we had our own place it might have been easier in some regards but no use when having to pick an oldie up from the floor or help them in the loo in the middle of the night. Must admit we didn't have some of the expenses you have and our monthly outgoing was significantly less than it is now back here in Australia. 

My advice would be to persuade your MiL that going into a care home is not the end of the world, then, if you feel so inclined, you can return to Australia. My dad was NEVER going into one of those places but he accepted that the price he had to pay for living in his own home was that he had to go into respite so we could visit Australia and our grandkids every now and again. One time he decided that he liked it so much he didn't want to go home and we were grateful that it really was his own decision. The stress on your nerves, I can assure you, will be significantly reduced! We also had had to put my demented mum into care for the last 18 months of her life but I am certain that had we not been there, their lives would have come to an end much sooner. I found the NHS (admittedly pre Covid) to be fabulous for the oldies and I not only had my parents but a childless aunt and uncle travelling the same aged pathway so we were helping out there too. I'm an only child and I would have given an arm and several legs to have had a sibling to share it all with but my husband was fabulous (he had had the same experience as you, being in mid flight when his mum in Australia died just as he was going to visit her as she had been sick) and our eldest son was a real lifesaver.

I missed my dad's funeral when he died unexpectedly (not Covid) early on in the epidemic but by that time we had his affairs mostly settled (thank God we persuaded them that a POA might be sensible and didn't mean we were taking over) and I was fortunate that my adult son who lives in UK stepped up to the plate and did all the funeral stuff. I have found that executing a will from Australia is the pits (especially in Covid times!!!!!) so have delegated my son into my role and turned it over to a solicitor. My aunt and uncle hadn't asked me to be an executor as we were in Australia when their wills were written for which I am very grateful as they have both gone in the last 2 years too.

So, good luck with the rest of the journey and make the most of what you can! 

[ramot]

4 hours ago, Brisbane Susan said:

My husband and I are temporarily living back in England.  In October last year, both of our elderly parents in England collapsed within days of one another. We knew we would have to return and it was decided that I would fly out first as my Dad was the sicker of the two parents.  I then had to go through applying for permission to leave Australia, which took a week.  I flew out at the end of October, with my husband staying behind to find someone to look after our two dogs, sort out the house, lend the car to the kids etc.  Unfortunately I was greeted at Heathrow Airport with the news that my Dad had died whilst I was mid-air, which was pretty devastating.  I just thought I would post this as an encouragement to be better prepared than we were.  We knew our parents were becoming more frail and of course we could do nothing about the restrictions imposed upon us by the pandemic, but we weren't ready and in retrospect, we should have been. I have always kept enough for two air fares in a separate savings account, but it wasn't nearly enough.  We don't know how long we will be here as my mother-in-law is still sick and deteriorating but not quite at end of life yet.  We don't want to come back to Australia, do two weeks quarantine and then have to turn around and come back again, so we have decided to rent here and stay for most of this year.  Fortunately my husband is retired and I have very understanding and supportive employers who have allowed me to take long-term unpaid leave.  Some of you may be lucky enough to be able to stay with family or friends but that was not an option for us as the three sets of people we would usually stay with were all in the middle of their own house moves!  We have rented a one-bedroom flat on the East Sussex coast, close to Brighton.  We are paying 1,200 pounds per month but that includes water, internet and came partly furnished.  I looked at several rental properties and to be honest, once the rent drops below 1,000 pounds per month, in this area the accommodation becomes a bit more 'student-orientated' (smaller, studio flat, not very well kept etc).  

Considerations to factor in include : Council tax - for us this will be 433 pounds (Council Tax Band B), TV licence (168 pounds for 12 months), mobile phone plans, internet/Wi-Fi, power bills (very expensive over here and not many deals available due to many electricity companies folding), food is comparable in cost to Australia.  Eating out is more expensive here.  Deciding whether to be a tax resident here or in Australia (if this happened to you, would you need to work to support yourselves or could you afford to stay here perhaps for several months without working?).  Parking - where we are staying, nearly everything is either on parking meters or you have to apply for a residents parking permit, a winter wardrobe (coming from Brisbane, I had to buy lots of winter clothing including coat and boots).  Naturally there were layers of paperwork around having to rent and we had to prove our identification and earnings/savings/income.  If you are working you may need to get a letter from your employer if you cannot provide previous renting references (we are home-owners in Australia and had not rented for many years).  My husband estimates that it is about 50% more expensive to live here than in Australia.  Public transport costs, particularly on trains, is very expensive.  I applied for a Seniors National Rail Card, which was well worth getting as it saves me up to 1/3 on fares.  Electricity and petrol 30-50% more expensive.  It is not as easy to get face to face medical consultations here although we were very lucky as we signed up to a local large medical centre and were accepted straight away, but I believe that it is not always that easy to get in somewhere.  My NHS number was out of date, but I discovered that on registering with a GP, they generate your new NHS number if required.  GST is 10% versus VAT being 20%.  Moving the Australian dollar to England was a reasonable rate, which we transferred in smaller blocks as we needed it.  On a lighter note and between all the sorrow and life admin pertaining to our parents, we have managed a few beautiful walks, enjoyed some cosy pub dinners, open fires, carveries and various treats such as my favourite chocolate.  It has been wonderful to catch up with our adult children who live here after not seeing them so long due to covid and we are determined to make the most of our unexpected time here and have already re-joined the National Trust and English Heritage.  We are fortunate to be able to frequently borrow our adult children's car so do not intend to buy one whilst we are here.  I hope that this post helps someone on this forum who may be facing a similar dilemma to us.  

Thank you for your very informative post, and sorry for the sad circumstances that have made you move back temporarily to UK. 

The comparison of the cost of living from someone actually living there will make interesting reading for posters.

Edited January 9, 2022 by ramot