Brisbane - just for young families and students?

[MARYROSE02]

5 hours ago, Marisawright said:

 

Yes, but I didn't say, "single women won't go into bars".   As a single woman, I went to bars a lot.   But I would never walk into a pub ALONE and sit by myself.  

What is the problem with going into a pub on your own and sitting at a table by yourself, if you don't mind me asking? Is it the fear of a constant stream of "players" besieging your table? Is it the feeling of just being "uncomfortable?" I doubt if I would be one of those rogues pestering you basically because I'm scared to approach women in most situations, hence the fact that I'm single. 

But judging by the surf club the two single women I mentioned are un-hassled. One always chooses to sit on her own and the other sometimes sits on her own and sometimes joins the blokes (most of whom being more interested in watching the cricket or footie than hassling single women.)

[Ozblueskies]

Again, I appreciate your responses!

Of course, I know that views are highly subjective - but I have always been the type of person who is interested in other people's opinions as they actually might challenge your own view. I would not base any major decisions on other people's opinions but they definitely can give you a fresh perspective on certain things. As I have not experienced life in Brisbane myself over the past years, it helps to get some input from people who have. I have lived in Brisbane from 2008-2012 (with a couple of interruptions) so my experience is based on that period. 

@Marisawright, I actually consider Melbourne as well, depending on job opportunities, it's definitely a place I could live for a while as I quite like the vibe of Melbourne. I'd probably struggle with the unpredictable weather and lack of beaches (with warm temperatures to swim in...) but this is not a major factor for me. 

I am quite independent and often go out for breakfast/lunch on my own - however, I don't actively approach bar/restaurant staff for a chat, it's just not me - and besides, I probably don't go to the same places often enough anyway  . I have met a few people through Meetup/Internations in the past - and of course, work. 

At the end of the day, it all comes down to finding a good job. I am aware that Sydney or Melbourne provide a wider variety and more depth in terms of career options. I don't have a strong urge to leave Sydney - however, there is a side of me who wants a less hectic/cut-throat lifestyle in the long term. So that's essentially my dilemma  

Thanks again for your replies - gave me a lot of food for thought!

[Marisawright]

32 minutes ago, Ozblueskies said:

@Marisawright, I actually consider Melbourne as well, depending on job opportunities, it's definitely a place I could live for a while as I quite like the vibe of Melbourne. I'd probably struggle with the unpredictable weather and lack of beaches (with warm temperatures to swim in...) but this is not a major factor for me. 

I am quite independent and often go out for breakfast/lunch on my own - however, I don't actively approach bar/restaurant staff for a chat, it's just not me - and besides, I probably don't go to the same places often enough anyway  .

.... I don't have a strong urge to leave Sydney - however, there is a side of me who wants a less hectic/cut-throat lifestyle in the long term. So that's essentially my dilemma  

I lived in Sydney for over 30 years and loved it, but I know what you mean about the hectic/cut-throat lifestyle.  Sydney always had a "buzz" but in later years, I felt it had begun morphing from the lively buzz of a bee to the angry zzzz of a wasp.   Or maybe that's just me getting older and not able to keep up!   

Given Melbourne is as big as Sydney, I've been surprised to find it is noticeably more laidback.   One thing that really strikes me is the total lack of interest in real estate.  We've been  renting for some years and probably will continue to do so.  In Sydney, property prices come up frequently in conversation and I always felt a little embarrassed and felt I had to make excuses for not being a home owner.  In the four years we've been here, the subject simply doesn't come up.  No one cares. 

[MARYROSE02]

7 hours ago, Wanderer Returns said:

Well you could sell one of your houses and buy a Ferrari - that might level the playing field a bit!  

Right, ugly old bloke in a Ferrari. I see them revving their engines around Surfers. If they had class they would be in Jags!

[MARYROSE02]

22 hours ago, Wanderer Returns said:

I like that you've thanked everyone who replied. There are many occasions when someone posts a question in this forum, and then they never interact with the thread, or acknowledge helpful advice.

My apologies for implying that you might be looking for a gay scene, but as you stated 'Sydney is very liberal and being a single 40-something does not feel weird as there is an active grown-up social scene which fits my demographic', I wrongly-assumed that you might. As I mentioned, I was reading between the lines, and that assumption was based on what you'd said rather than me being from or living in Brisbane. I'm originally from the UK, as I imagine are most people on a sit called 'PomsInOz'  

Back to your OP, I believe you've answered your own question. You have already lived in Brisbane (you didn't say how long?), and then in Sydney for 5 years, which is a considerable length of time. You spoke about Sydney with great affection, and the only drawbacks being the cost of living, and it not being quite as relaxed as you'd like. On the other hand you view Brisbane as parochial by comparison, inhabited by people who are not you intellectual equal ('mentally lazy'), and are racist to boot. You see Queensland as a backward, insular state, concerned with it's own interest (although to be fair you'll find that every state puts their own interests first), so I don't know why you would want to move here except for cheaper housing - and it's nowhere near as cheap as it used to be.

With regards to meeting new people, then that's the same the world over - find people who share common interests. @MARYROSE02 likes socializing in bars/cafes and is clearly very chatty, so that works for him - but it wouldn't be my cup of tea. When I moved to Brissie I joined a 5-a-side league and a rock-climbing club. If you're the type of person who makes an effort and gets out there, you'll make friends anywhere, regardless of how big or small the place is where you live.

I'm feeling guilty now choosing the cafe and the pub/club over the five a side footie and, maybe not the rock climbing! Back in the day - 80's in Sydney, 90s in England I joined bushwalking and rambling clubs. For some reason, in England I preferred to go cycling on my own to walking in company, maybe because I could cycle out from home rather than getting into my car to drive to meeting place. But walking clubs/groups are great for finding things to do on the weekend.

I know a guy in Sydney who created his social life from joining a squash club at Hiscoes Gym in Surry Hills. Funny but I met him on his first day in Australia when I booked four nights at the YHA hostel at Central (not the "train" one! The other one in the big red building).Two or three years later, I was in the Trinity, just down the road from Hiscoes and he recognized me. I met all his squash friends. And some of them don't play squash but are friends of friends. Thus the tentacles of a social network develop?

But any kind of club is ideal for building those networks. The Surf Clubs are of course not just social. If you have kids enrol them in the "Nippers". If you are a good swimmer and not too old I guess you could become a life saver? Paul in Perth will know more about that than me. Just after I arrived here I was having a coffee in San Churro and a bit group of people came in - a Japanese language/culture group. I looked them up on Meet Ups - every Monday night. I could have joined but chose not to. There's a croquet club i saw from the tram one day. 

Over the years I 've done a heap of classes of various kinds in both England and OZ - typewriting (manual not electric), shorthand, machine shorthand, word processing and introduction to computers (as the technology changed!), car mechanics, Backgammon, Badminton, ballroom dancing, Creative Writing, cooking, German.  Some of them led to socializing outside the classes.

You would have to be a churl (is that a word?  Churlish?) going into a cafe/bar/restaurant/club every day and not get to know people. Yesterday in my local cafe one of the waitresses asked me what I used my note book for? We had a nice little chat and she told me the names of some Latin American writers she likes - Julio Cortazar, Mario Benedetti, Gabriel Marquez (Argentina, Uruguay, Colombia) and a group she likes - Soda Spereo from Argentina (Reminded me of Talk Talk for some reason). Now, if she is working today I will have something to talk to her about. I mentioned Kill Bill and she said there's a restaurant in Brisbane on the theme of Kill Bill/Tarantino.

They are all little things, "micro-friendships" perhaps, but put them all together and maybe something "macro" develops?!

[Wanderer Returns]

On 30/12/2020 at 08:51, MARYROSE02 said:

I'm feeling guilty now choosing the cafe and the pub/club over the five a side footie and, maybe not the rock climbing! Back in the day - 80's in Sydney, 90s in England I joined bushwalking and rambling clubs. For some reason, in England I preferred to go cycling on my own to walking in company, maybe because I could cycle out from home rather than getting into my car to drive to meeting place. But walking clubs/groups are great for finding things to do on the weekend.

I know a guy in Sydney who created his social life from joining a squash club at Hiscoes Gym in Surry Hills. Funny but I met him on his first day in Australia when I booked four nights at the YHA hostel at Central (not the "train" one! The other one in the big red building).Two or three years later, I was in the Trinity, just down the road from Hiscoes and he recognized me. I met all his squash friends. And some of them don't play squash but are friends of friends. Thus the tentacles of a social network develop?

I wouldn't feel guilty MR - my 5-a-side days are well and truly over (knees!), although I still have my boots so I might give 'walking football' a go at some point. Sounds a bit rubbish by comparison but we all need to accept these new realities as we grow older! 

I loved cycling in the UK and that's one thing I miss here. I have a bike and go out in the winter months, but there are no quaint county lanes here (at least I haven't found any yet) and the drivers are far from considerate.

I've always fancied squash, but never quite got around to it. It looks extremely energetic, and I don't want to be that person you read about in the obituaries - "led a full and active life before dying suddenly"  

Have a Happy New Year!

Edited December 31, 2020 by Wanderer Returns

[Wanderer Returns]

,

Edited December 31, 2020 by Wanderer Returns

[MARYROSE02]

15 hours ago, Wanderer Returns said:

I wouldn't feel guilty MR - my 5-a-side days are well and truly over (knees!), although I still have my boots so I might give 'walking football' a go at some point. Sounds a bit rubbish by comparison but we all need to accept these new realities as we grow older! 

I loved cycling in the UK and that's one thing I miss here. I have a bike and go out in the winter months, but there are no quaint county lanes here (at least I haven't found any yet) and the drivers are far from considerate.

I've always fancied squash, but never quite got around to it. It looks extremely energetic, and I don't want to be that person you read about in the obituaries - "led a full and active life before dying suddenly"  

Have a Happy New Year!

I wondered about "Walking Football" myself - less stressful than Subutteo?  I have not ridden a bike since I left England 12 years ago. I never fancied riding in Surry Hills though when I lived in Narrabeen I had a bike. I've been thinking I might get one now I'm in Surfers Paradise where the promenade is sort of bike friendly, though some of the hire scooter riders go VERY fast, which is scary for me when I'm walking.

Out where my brother lives, near Camden - Spring Farm - I thought bike riding might be OK and some of the new roads had proper bike ways off the road itself. I loved cycling in and around the New Forest. There was one nasty, busy road to cross, but once over that it very safe, and on the Forest proper, over the cattle grids, there are few hedgerows or ditches so easy to get off the road.

I suppose one option is to put your bike in or on a car, or on the train and head out somewhere. Narrabeen for instance! It's got a  proper cycle/foot track right around the lake now. I learned to sail board on the lake. I played volleyball for a while - we did it at lunchtimes on Garden Island and I found a place where they played volleyball on squash courts. Mind you, this is 30 years ago.

I walk a bit here, had one walk after breakfast, a couple of kilometres, mostly on the promenade, saw a couple of blokes I knew too who shook my hand, said "Happy New Year", one said, "See you in the surf club tonight," which makes me feel like I'm "becoming" a local.

HNY too!