MelanieJS Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 I'm moving to Brisbane in less than 3 weeks (with my Australian partner) and today has really hit me that it is all becoming real. Yesterday we had our leaving party, which I know is probably the reason of my emotions, but today I have been in tears thinking about what i'm leaving behind. I feel like i'm going mad. Even though I want to move to Brisbane and would never back out now. I think it is all the stress of moving and also knowing I won't see family and my best friend for months at a time (even though I don't see them often here, it is just knowing they are nearby or at least in the same country). I have been to Oz many times and my partner has friends and family there but I know they are not my family and friends. We have said we will give it 4 years and if we both or one of us is unhappy, then we will come back. I'm sure there are many people going through the same emotions and I hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Hi,dont worry,what you are experiencing is normal.Its a huge move right?Not just physically,but emotionally,financially etc.You've probably done the gist of all you have to do re the move,and your energy has been spent on doing that.Leaving "do's"are usually quite difficult to deal with.Thats normal too. The 4 years is probably a good idea,but please hon,if I were you,I would not contemplate having kids during this time.You've probably read on this forum of people becoming stuck once they do. Emotions are bound to be running high atm,you're probably tired from all the work and planning involved in this move,so maybe take some extra time to sit and rest,go out for a walk,just relax.You are going to be in summer when you land,so that will keep you pepped up.Try to re focus on all the positives re this move.Best of luck and I hope all goes well for you.Please keep us posted,and if you need support,dont be afraid to ask.:cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieJS Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 Thanks Jacaranda. I know the feelings are normal but you still go through the rollercoaster of emotions even when you are expecting them. My partner and I have been together almost 20 years so it isn't a new relationship (and kids are definitely not on the horizon), so i'm settled in that aspect. Hopefully today is just a very bad day!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Well if you've known the guy for 20 yrs hon,don't sweat it!:laugh:I'm sure all will be fine! Its funny how it works for different people.Some people cope better if they use Skype etc to keep in touch,others prefer less contact.I'm guessing you'll be getting some UK visitors,and that will good too and give you something to look forward to.Im leaving the UK too soon,spent 30 yrs living in Oz.I am leaving with some sadness though.I don't dislike the UK,infact I love the place but due to visa obligations,I have to return to Oz.So this will be your first Oz Xmas?Excited or what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Hope your DH has a way to get back into UK if he should need it! Citizenship is the best option although you're cutting it fine for that. Failing that, I hope he has ancestry which could be OK if he is still working otherwise you really will be burning bridges! Good luck and enjoy the adventure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teejams Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 MelanieJS, I'm moving my family to the Gold Coast in a week. I feel the same, it's really awful isn't it? and it doesn't matter how much you wanted to move, nothing gets rid of these feelings. I've had no positive support from my family at all. I'm going to have to say goodbye to family members this week that I know I'll never see again. I guess if it was easy, everyone would do it. Best Wishes in beautiful Brisbane. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieJS Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 I have had Christmas a few times in Oz already and has always been good. As for visitors, family have already given me dates on when they're coming so that is good. So do you not have UK Citizenship? Do you wish you were staying in UK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieJS Posted November 22, 2015 Author Share Posted November 22, 2015 MelanieJS, I'm moving my family to the Gold Coast in a week. I feel the same, it's really awful isn't it? and it doesn't matter how much you wanted to move, nothing gets rid of these feelings. I've had no positive support from my family at all. I'm going to have to say goodbye to family members this week that I know I'll never see again. I guess if it was easy, everyone would do it. Best Wishes in beautiful Brisbane. X Today is the first time I've cracked. I think it is leaving 'my life' - security of friends/family/familiarity, even though I'm looking forward to going to Oz. It must be hard for you if you've had no support - is this because they don't want you to go? Also, if you don't go for it, you will always wonder if you had a missed opportunity. Better to go and experience it, if it isn't what you want, then you can always return. Life is too short. Good luck with your move! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 if you don't go for it, you will always wonder if you had a missed opportunity. Better to go and experience it, if it isn't what you want, then you can always return. Life is too short. I think that's good advice - but only for those who can afford it. It does scare me to see some midlife families emigrating because of "what if", though. It costs $20,000 to $30,000 to move a family with kids to Australia, and if it goes wrong, almost as much to move home - and often that means the family end up much worse off than if they hadn't gone, because they've spent a huge chunk of the equity from their original house. If they're already in their forties by the time they emigrate, they don't have much time to recoup all the money they've lost either. As a couple of DINKs (double income no kids) it's going to be a lot cheaper for you to move, and it sounds like you've been together long enough to be confident you'll both honour your agreement if you don't settle - so it sounds like you'll be fine! I would only echo what Quoll said - does your oh have citizenship of the UK so you CAN both return if necessary? If not, it can be surprisingly hard to get a non-citizen spouse back into the country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I have had Christmas a few times in Oz already and has always been good. As for visitors, family have already given me dates on when they're coming so that is good. So do you not have UK Citizenship? Do you wish you were staying in UK? If you were replying to me - I am a UK citizen - my comment was to ensure that your DH has citizenship before he goes because if he doesn't (or be of working age and have Ancestry visa) then it is possible that he wouldn't get back in because the spouse visa requires you to have a lot of money! Better not to burn bridges if you don't have to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Not sure if you were referring to me Melanie,I didn't have citizenship(Yeah I know,at the time of leaving Oz,it was only going to be for 2 yrs lol)so I had a 5 yr RRV.Got that renewed a couple of times,and then last Jan,applied for another and only got a one yr RRV.My aussie kids are here (UK)so if I don't go back to Oz soon,and they do?I'm gonna be here by myself. Quoll,you've made some good points re the spousal visa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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