Seizethedance Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 The idea that a family would migrate to Australia, or to Britain, for that matter, and deliberately choose to live far away from your partner's family, so that he or she would not be able to 'pop over' to see them is bizarre. If your partner is particularly close to their family, why would you want to make it difficult for them to see them? I'm not married, amd perhaps that is WHY I am not married, but I just can't imagine how I would perhaps meet a girl, marry her, and then tell her 'we're not going to live near your parents. It's not fair on me. My parents are 10,000 miles away in England?' To my way of thinking, I would be turning down the chance to 'adopt' a new family. What if someone in the family was ill and just when it would be lovely to be able to see them every day, maybe help them, you can't do it because you are an hour's drive away? In 1997, my mother had an accident, and my father practically LIVED in Southampton General Hospital, driving there and back twice a day, and that was a fifteen mile round trip. We had my grandmother on my Mum's side living with us. One of my cousins lived in the same village as her mother, and I remember her mother - my aunt - telling me her son-in-law was everything she could ever have hoped for, always willing to pop over and help her with anything. The idea that one partner has 'everything' and the other 'nothing' because one has their family nearby. and therefore you should move far enough away to deprive them of their chance at easy contact, seems to me like you are deliberately punishing your partner. Would the partner without the close family be so insecure, so lacking in the ability to build a new social network for themselves? I guess, as a single bloke, I can see it as a variation on the idea, that as soon as one of your mates gets married, the woman, who naturally hates you, makes every attempt to prevent you from having any contact with him. I've finally found the word I'm looking for! It's just plain 'mean!' One of the things we are most looking forward to is being near family - here we are 5 hours away from my mum and the thought that our kids might be able to spend an afternoon with their grandparents while we have a child-free few hours - WAHOOOOO!!!!! I think it's lovely to be near family for us and for the kids, 20 minutes away is perfect. I hope it will also give me a sense of connection to the people and place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Once we got into our own house I felt settled. We were lucky in our neighbours and in that we had 2 kids aged 1 and 3 so I joined playgroups and made friends that way. Also- we knew we couldn't afford to go back in the forseeable future and that was a huge motivation to settle ! The beautiful sunshine was an added bonus, we emigrated in January. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 It certainly didn't cost us even a small fraction of that amount, but even if it happened to, I think saving up for two or three years is all part of the adventure, to be honest. Nothing in this world is free, least of all experiencing life on the other side of the world. If you don't feel like that then I would advise against galavanting around the planet! It didn't cost us that either, but then we were a childless couple and we didn't have much in the way of furniture or belongings to bring. An established family with kids is a different story. And I do notice you say that you "couldn't afford to go back in the foreseeable future" when you came to Australia. Some people might find that a motivation to make ti work, others might just feel trapped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrutineer Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 It didn't cost us that either, but then we were a childless couple and we didn't have much in the way of furniture or belongings to bring. An established family with kids is a different story. And I do notice you say that you "couldn't afford to go back in the foreseeable future" when you came to Australia. Some people might find that a motivation to make ti work, others might just feel trapped. Sorry Marisa, what was the context of my saying the foreseeable future bit? I can't recall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 I know I read it, because I cut and pasted it. Perhaps someone else made the comment and I mistook who said it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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