Sending the wife and kids first, are we crazy?

[Gbye grey sky]

I find what you are suggesting very hard to relate to personally. We have one daughter aged 10 and are older parents in our 50s. We are timing the move to coincide with our daughter finishing primary next year giving up well paid positions (me in particular). We will be intending to semi retire as we have savings to fall back on and we are expecting to greatly reduce our income. In an ideal world financially speaking we would probably hold off the move until 2017 at the earliest when we are nearer being able to draw our pensions but not only do we think that is a worse idea for our daughter settling in but we can't wait to start this adventure together (we both want to go now tbh).

 

Not for one moment did we ever consider undertaking the adventure without each other as that is the whole point.

 

One thing I don't understand is that using your plan your family could settle and in 2 years time you make the trip to join them in Oz but are offered a great job opportunity in a different state but cant find anything where they are. Do you then uproot your family to follow that new job or continue to live apart. If you move them then you might as well have all stayed in the UK together for 2 years as far as your child's education etc is concerned.

 

I always try to be balanced when responding on PIO but however hard I look at what you are proposing I can only see downsides.

[supa]

I can't imagine not cuddling my kids for 2 years. Never mind her struggling with the school issue, what about not being able to chat about it with her dad? Being away 1-2 days per week is one thing, but all the time is quite another.

[Geraldine]

As a very independent kind of gal I know I could do it, not all wives are the same. The only question here is what does your wife think?If she has the remotest doubt that she could cope then do not do it. Having lived with a very unsettled child I know that would be my top priority. Some kids settle really easily some don't and it can't be predicted . Mine was the most enthusiastic in coming out and was also the most heartbroken when she realised we wouldn't be going back anytime soon. Thankfully she has turned a corner but it was easily more difficult than living apart for periods of time. Good luck in whatever you do

[jac2011]

I haven't heard your thoughts about how your children will cope, without a father figure in their lives during their development stages of life. As young children 2 years is a long time and I doubt your relationship with them will not be the same with a gap of that amount of time. Surely, not knowing where there father was for months at a time would be confusing?

Edited May 26, 2014 by jac2011

[Gbye grey sky]

I haven't heard your thoughts about how your children will cope, without a father figure in their lives during their development stages of life. As young children 2 years is a long time and I doubt your relationship with them will be the same with a gap of that amount of time. Surely, not knowing where there father was for months at a time would be confusing?

 

I agree and kids cannot apply the same logic as an adult. For them you are putting something else (in this case money) ahead of them. Money or lack of is quite an abstract concept to children of that age I feel.

[VERYSTORMY]

I think there are also a lot of other things you need to think about. You mention moving to Tas. But, have you researched jobs there - it has very high unemployment - higher than the UK.

[starlight7]

Tasmania and Queensland are just about chalk and cheese. Are you sure you have worked things out? Two years- well you might as well not be married, can't believe anyone would even think of a separation that long. Poor kids, they will miss you so much at their ages.

[janlo]

It depends on your wife doesn't it ? If she says go for it then it's up to her ! We are mostly on our own anyway once our husbands go to work ...often they are away working long days. What about army wife's .....husbands are away longer than 2 years . Go for it. Only concern is renting, it could be difficult as landlords are very strict on ability to pay...payslip proof etc.

Edited May 27, 2014 by janlo