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Advice please, Friends being strange before we leave...not sure what to do?


samdom1

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When we left my husband's brother didn't even bother to say goodbye- we still don't deal with him except for 1 email per year on birthdays. Funny how some people are.

 

Its just so upsetting/frustrating/selfish/strange! My brothers been quite cool i know its cos he's upset that im leaving...i dont know how i would deal with it if he didnt say goodbye though :confused:

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My neighbours held a street party for us leaving.................don't know if they were rejoicing at getting us out of the neighbourhood or what? Relatives on the OH's side were downright obnoxious about it..............all snobs who perceived Aussies as 'common"..........they reckoned I would fit in well.

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Its just my opinion but I think that those friends and family who are acting 'strange' are simply listening to their own emotions about you going to Australia. In the cases of many of these people their emotional self defence mechanism is kicking in, mainly because they don't want to get hurt by you leaving them to live the other side of the world. It's probably the same set of emotions that surface during abandonment events, such as lovers leaving. These are powerful emotions and have a tendency to dominate rational thought.

 

In these situations it would be best to reach out to those who are being 'strange'. Give em' a big hug and tell them what they mean to you and make a commitment to stay in touch and/or have them over to visit. Even if they visit or not its important that you reach out to them.

 

By expecting them to act normally you may well be exacerbating the situation. From their perspective the onus is on you to reach out to them.

 

We are in the same boat. 3 weeks to D-DAY. Emotions bubbling below the surface, especially with the grand-parents.

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It's sad that it's happened because I'm sure you don't need anything else to worry about with only 12 weeks to go. We've seen both reactions over recent months. My best friend started saving for her first visit as soon as we got our visas, but my OH's best friend, who he was best man for just over 6 months ago and worked with every day, has gone off to work on is own and overnight started behaving as though we'd already left. It's upsetting but we don't know what to do either.

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