familywright Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 We have been in Oz for 9-10 months now. We are at that stage now where we have to make a decision. This is a decision re selling our UK property and staying here in oz. We are so confused and honestly dont know where is the better place for our family. If we go back to UK: *no mortage and a bit of money to tide us over for a while- an "easy" life * no jobs- would have to start again (we are both 49 this year) *cheaper life, no school fees * back to the cold and damp * austere schooling, pressure of 11 plus, maybe not being able to get child back into his old school (child is 9 and in year 4 this year) * husband happy to just go back to trundling along the way we were If we stay: * starting from scratch with businesses - not an "easy" life * no proper jobs (we have been set back a good 6 months by some family issues) * leaving behind a pretty special UK property * better lifestyle for our child, he looks so much healthier and is happy * more expensive to live, school fees etc * better schooling in our view (nicer ethos in the system we are in, nicer clas environment, fab resources and no 11 plus pressure) * new lease on life - different challenges, not just doing the same old thing I think the thing that will swing it for us is whether or not we do feel life is "better" here for our family. If we could lift our property in UK to here or have some way of keeping it and buying here, It would be heaven. What are most people finding? Is life "better" here for YOU, especially for kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I guess I would say to you judge on things other than property- that is just an ephemeral thing, it doesn't matter in the long run- you can't take it with you can you? Do you feel 'at home' here? Does the place feel 'right' for you? Do your other family members like it here or prefer the UK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Do you see yourself growing old and dying there? If something happened to one or other of you, would you stay? Would you stay if your child decided to move on once grown? Do you have a large support network? Will you have enough in your superannuation pot to ever be able to retire in comfort in Aus? If the answer to all is yes, Australia! But if the answer is no then move on. If it's just "better" weather and the itch for a bit of adventure as the issue then could you accommodate by taking more holidays from UK perhaps. Good luck with your decision, it can't be easy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
familywright Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks so much for your replies. I didnt mean to omit this part and I do apologise but I am actually the Australian in the family. For me, its coming home. I just want to be sure its the right thing for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fensaddler Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Whilst I wouldn't describe our UK property as special, I'd love to be able to lift it over here, fit aircon and live in it. But we can't - so come the UK summer, we are selling up and burning our last boat, because we can't see ourselves going back. In time you will find a place to live here that you love, but it will take time. And you certainly won't really begin to settle until at least one of you has got the job thing sorted a little more (and you have to start again now wherever you are). To me from your story, the big thing is your child's future - you say he is happier and healthier, and you prefer the educational experience he is getting. I'd imagine that by the time he is grown you will have enough roots to settle here anyway. We moved here two years ago with a 12 year old, and her life and education is better here too - growing up a little less fast, a better peer group, and just simply bigger and better horizons. And you're like us in other ways too - we'd have no jobs, no school place etc to go back to now - we could not create our old lives even if we wanted to. All good reasons to build new ones here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Thanks so much for your replies. I didnt mean to omit this part and I do apologise but I am actually the Australian in the family. For me, its coming home. I just want to be sure its the right thing for everyone. Aha! Mixed marriage - that confuses things then, doesn't it? Simple answer - who knows in that case! Which of you is more able to cope with the feelings of displacement? When you are knocking on 50 you do have to put your grown ups hat on (sadly) and look to where you will be better off in old age. Being old, poor and still having to work must be the pits. Sounds like your support network is going to be equal in either place. Not easy, mixed marriages! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Aha! Mixed marriage - that confuses things then, doesn't it? Simple answer - who knows in that case! Which of you is more able to cope with the feelings of displacement? When you are knocking on 50 you do have to put your grown ups hat on (sadly) and look to where you will be better off in old age. Being old, poor and still having to work must be the pits. Sounds like your support network is going to be equal in either place. Not easy, mixed marriages! 50's not old Quoll. I've just turned 60 and don't see much chance of finishing work early, wife the same, although she works part time. No matter though, I still find work interesting and have a good job. Never had any feelings of displacement and I don't think the wife has either, doesn't happen to everyone. We are all going to die and it doesn't bother me where it happens. I could see myself in a few years in one of those St Ives retirement villages. There's a cracker near us and we see a few of the oldies (65+) at the beach. They go for a swim in the ocean every day, winter and summer, tough old bunch. I think the missus will have a while yet for me to put my grown up hat on.:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Definitely no easy answer - in neither country does one 'live the dream' and there are good and bad about both. For me, after 5 years in Perth it was time to come 'home' - obviously quite different for you as Australia is 'home'. On the schooling front i agree with you - not that there is an 11+ in Scotland but my son went to an incredible primary school in Australia - it was private but less than $1000 a term. He probably would have got a place on a Gifted and Talent program but otherwise we had a place at a non-selective private high school that we were happy with. It tore me apart the thought of putting him back in the UK system but there are 'alternative' schools out there in the UK in the private sector and although of the surface the school he is at is quite different here - he wears a uniform and doesn't call the teachers by their names for a start - in terms of philosophy, values and care for the children it is absolutely just as good. My son is just as happy and actually we're happier as he will stay there through to 18 without the trauma of the 'gifted and talented' tests and interviews. Perhaps easy for us as we live close to Edinburgh where there are a lot of schooling options but there are alternatives to the state system everywhere (& not all are high fees, snobby and results obsessed - look for the ones that are 'non-selective'!) I know it takes away the benefit of 'no school fees' in the UK (& fees are more here) but you can't really compare private schooling in Australia with state schooling in the UK - it's a bit unfair on the UK Do consider post-secondary education too.....both in terms of opportunities, quality of education and fees. I'm around your age and faced a future in Australia of working until I was at least 70 whereas I can now afford a retirement at 60 if I wish, and as I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in Australia that became very relevant. I was also spending $1000s per annum on medication in Australia which is free here (I appreciate this is only true of Scotland & Wales). Just something to consider as you get older - depressing but true Anyway no idea what you should do but I'd go for the 'easy' life - you can make your own adventures when you have the time and money to do it. Your OH will revert to type anyway and before long you'll be trundling along in Australia - that certainly happened with us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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