'Secret' registry marriage or no big celebration - will it go against Partner visa?

[littlekitty]

Hi Little Kitty,

 

I personally believe it your personal choice as to how and when you get married. In your case you do have to consider your visa application, however, the Department of Immigration are not going to look at the fact you had a 'secret registry marriage' as the only deciding factor in assessing your case, they will always look at the big picture and at all of the evidence combined. If you can provide strong evidence that you meet the migration law, regulations and policy for the grant of a spouse visa application that is what you need to focus on pulling together and telling your story to the Department of Immigration backed up with the evidence to prove it. Essentially, the Department of Immigration are assessing whether or not you and your partner have a 'genuine and continuing relationship' and they look at four broad categories: financial aspects;the nature of the household; social context of the relationship; and the nature of your commitment to each other. If you can provide solid evidence in all these four categories, the fact you had a 'secret registry marriage' should not hinder you. Please do not take my post as professional migration advice, purely information for you to consider. You can look at the Department of Immigration website for further information or contact a registered migration agent like myself to get professional migratiion advice and asssistance from a suitably qualified and experienced immigration law specialist. All the best to you and your partner for your big day and the visa process. I would love to help if you wish to PM me.

thanks and regards,

Danielle Ferris

All Australian Visas

Registered Migration Registration Number: 0955608

 

Thanks Danielleferris, an informative, non-judgemental, and indepth answer.

We will most likely be able to cover all four categories DIAC are looking for, quite well.

I am acutely aware of the 'financial aspects of the relationship' section, and this is also something factored into this wedding/marriage decision.

 

We feel we are forced to make a decision to have the wedding we want, or to purchase some items for our home (plus we need a new car) and dental surgery I need. If we blow all those things off in favor of having our wedding within the 9 months, then I'm afraid that we will lack in evidence for that section as all of our finances will be going to the wedding, rather than to shared costs of building our life together. At the moment, I'd rather the home stuff and car set-up ASAP once fiance can work.

I know they are assessing us on those sections, but I also feel (as many people in this section have confirmed for me) that they will think it is suspicious that we did it just me and him, and this might detract from our other evidence.

 

I think we have a few choices here, taking into account everyones responses:

- Marry at the registry with 2 close friends in attandence (as witnesses), telling everyone we are married, then having a 'wedding party/reception' later down the track (call me crazy, but I feel like putting on the dress for the party would be overkill in this situation, let alone wanting to do the 'first look' etc when I come down the aisle all dressed - my fiance is most excited about this moment)

- Marry at the registry with all immediate family in attendence (having people travel very far for a registry/very small ceremony) and not afford the reception we want

- Have the wedding within the 9 months, put all savings/income into the wedding we want and forgo any other couple expenses we have at the moment (we are paying for the wedding ourselves)

- Get married at the registry in total secret (with people as witnesses outside our friendship group) in say, November, and have the 'wedding' in March/April once we have more savings

- Elope and have a big holiday with our wedding savings!!!! (which might kill my mum/mother in law/sisters)

- Have a registry wedding, get married in a year and risk people being like "oh well, we dont really need to go - after all, they are already married anyway"

[Addy]

hit the nail on the head there, LornaG.

My fiance and I are excited to have our own little personal afternoon where it's just me and him making a commitment to each other in private. And we are also excited for our families to get together (from all over the world and Aus) for a lovely day where my mum gets to see me in a nice dress. Simple as that. I totally agree with the "meaningless fluff attached" as I cringe at these over the top weddings, but we think the wedding may be the highlight of the month/year/life of some of my fiances family (some have never travelled overseas before) and we wouldnt want to taint that for them by thinking they were getting a 'wedding party' instead of a wedding.

Plus, a wedding for 50 people is considered small - but being in Perth, no matter how small it is, its still going to be expensive!!

 

Just be honest with your family, lying will only cause problems. Tell them the DIAC regulations mean you have to get married sooner than you would ideally like which means you can't afford a big wedding. Holy smoke, they should understand this. You may find they offer to help you with the costs. You can also float your idea about a legal wedding followed by a blessing and a party when you can afford it. See what they say. In my book, a family who aren't willing to see your point of view don't deserve the amount of thought you are giving to their feelings. Also if they all come to the wedding they won't come for a few years and even if they do come you will spend little time with them. It is much better for them to come later individually to see you and you can devote time to them.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Addy

[NickyNook]

Marriage - the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, usually including accompanying social festivities.

 

Sure that's what a marriage is. And a wedding is?

A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution.(Wikipedia)

 

You seem to think the wedding is just the 'accompanying social festivities' ie the party afterwards. It isn't - it's the ceremony itself.

 

If you marry in a small ceremony at a register office, it's still a wedding - whether you have a big party or not.

 

Anyway, is it possible to marry the same person twice? Wouldn't the second, big occasion have to be a blessing only and therefore give the game away to all the guests?

[Rupert]

Last time I checked, the words 'Marriage' and 'wedding' meant two different things, just traditionally and historically, its done on the one day.

 

 

 

Yes a marriage is different to a wedding, marriage is the long term. A marriage ceremony (in whatever form it takes) is a wedding. So when you go to the registery office and take your vows, this is your wedding.

 

But if you think differently then why are you planning to keep it a secret from everyone? Why not say, "we had the marriage ceremony already but now we want you to come to our wedding?"

 

To your post above, I don't think there is anything weird about getting married and then having a celebration later, it is just that you are willing to deceive your family and friends and have this odd notion of getting married but "having the wedding later" that is odd. I think most people will struggle to understand what you mean. But most of all be honest with people.

 

And if you don't like comments on your situation, then why in heavens name did you post up your story and invite those of us that had small weddings (such as myself) to read on! So don't play that tedious old "don't judge me" blah blah blah card. Nobody has "judged you" nobody is interested in "judging" you. You have posted up your story on an internet board which is in my opinion an invitation for comment.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Rupert

[Guest GeorgeD]

Just be honest with your family, lying will only cause problems. Tell them the DIAC regulations mean you have to get married sooner than you would ideally like which means you can't afford a big wedding. Holy smoke, they should understand this. You may find they offer to help you with the costs. You can also float your idea about a legal wedding followed by a blessing and a party when you can afford it. See what they say. In my book, a family who aren't willing to see your point of view don't deserve the amount of thought you are giving to their feelings. Also if they all come to the wedding they won't come for a few years and even if they do come you will spend little time with them. It is much better for them to come later individually to see you and you can devote time to them.

 

I think honesty with your family is the best policy. Just about any wedding I've ever been invovled in has had some sort of compromise or upset...Auntie so and so won't go if cousin such and such goes because her Mum fell out with so and so forty years ago, etc. His side are very religious and won't go to a Registry office, hers are anti religion and won't go to a Church, etc, etc. In an ideal world everyone would be happy at the perfect venue on the perfect day with the perfect outfits, etc...but in the real world there is always a bit of tension, and weddings bring out a little bit of madness in seemingly otherwise sane people! At least if you are open and honest with your family then there are no secrets to try and keep...you don't need to worry about the cat getting out the bag or about their reaction when they find out.

 

It'll be one less thing to worry about if they are aware of what is going on and why you have to do it the way you are doing it. Don't worry about DIAC...you'll be legally married and you have evidence for the other stuff.

[littlekitty]

I think honesty with your family is the best policy. Just about any wedding I've ever been invovled in has had some sort of compromise or upset...Auntie so and so won't go if cousin such and such goes because her Mum fell out with so and so forty years ago, etc. His side are very religious and won't go to a Registry office, hers are anti religion and won't go to a Church, etc, etc. In an ideal world everyone would be happy at the perfect venue on the perfect day with the perfect outfits, etc...but in the real world there is always a bit of tension, and weddings bring out a little bit of madness in seemingly otherwise sane people! At least if you are open and honest with your family then there are no secrets to try and keep...you don't need to worry about the cat getting out the bag or about their reaction when they find out.

 

It'll be one less thing to worry about if they are aware of what is going on and why you have to do it the way you are doing it. Don't worry about DIAC...you'll be legally married and you have evidence for the other stuff.

 

Thanks GeorgeD, you always have a good answer

And everyone else - yes thanks for your input, I was merely suggesting that you dont judge me on two things: if my relationship is genuine, and if you personally think the idea RIGHT or WRONG. I was just asking your opinion on the issues that could come up in the eyes of DIAC. Most of our family know the situation with the 9 months anyway, so telling them the truth (and having a 'blessing' whatever, after the fact) isnt out of the question - I just know some people in the family would think we were selfish by trying to have 'two weddings'! haha!

People have married in secret for much more sinister reasons than me wanting to please people. Call me a pushover, I dont care. Of course I want a nice wedding too, but it is mostly for our families who are overjoyed.

In the end, I just want to tailor something to our situation, and this visa is so important to us that I would never want to jepardise it in any way.. We have worked so hard to get everything together for our PMV and want the process to be as streamlined as possible.

Here's another good article I like for a bit of a giggle. Thank god my fiance doesnt love football this much.

http://www.today.com/id/28155942/site/todayshow/ns/today-weddings/t/pre-wed-many-are-marrying-ceremony/

[ali]

Have the wedding you both want, but don't pretend it's not a wedding - instead invite people to your celebration later in the year (which I would call it - not your wedding - you'll have already had that). No one can then call you selfish as you're not having two wedding, but a quiet ceremony (just the two of you) and then a celebration or blessing.

 

Do think about what you want though - my friend married in the US because her partner didn't want a church wedding, she compromised (hence the wedding in the US), but he didn't come through with the blessing in church which was very important to her. She said, she had really wanted to have close friends and family witness her marriage (it was just them), and they never got to do so.

Edited February 6, 2013 by ali