Guest Est Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Has anyone had the same experience. Told both sets of parents we were moving to Brisbane - both very pleased for us and told us to go and what a great opportunity it is. Now we are in the process of getting medicals done and really getting things moving. Everytime I mention it my parents now they go quiet and say "well you haven't gone yet". They now obviously do not want us to go!!!! what do I do?? Est :cry: :wink: :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nelson Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Grit your teeth and remind them of what a wonderful opportunity you are giving them to visit you! Remember, too, that you are responsible for your own happiness, not theirs. I love my parents and siblings dearly and will miss them terribly but believe that I will be happier and better off in Oz... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest glennandkate Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Has anyone had the same experience. Told both sets of parents we were moving to Brisbane - both very pleased for us and told us to go and what a great opportunity it is. Now we are in the process of getting medicals done and really getting things moving. Everytime I mention it my parents now they go quiet and say "well you haven't gone yet". They now obviously do not want us to go!!!! what do I do?? Est :cry: :wink: :wink: I have had exactly the same thing with my mum and sister - Maybe try turning it around, how would you feel if it were them saying to you 'we're moving 12000 miles away'. I know I would be happy they were doing someting to make them happy but I would also feel a bit upset that they were deserting me !! Since we have had our visa's back my Mum does seem a bit better - I think she has finally accepted we are going and not speaking about it wont help - hang in there - it will get better.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest happygolucky Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 :roll: I know how you feel - I am dreading telling my folks, both dont have great health which stops them from flying, i feel like the worst person in the world taking there only grandchild, but i have a responsibility for mine and my daughters future, that is what keeps me going Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Good luck with it hun, I know it can be very hard. My mother has told me she wants to die before we go! My little boy is the youngest grandchild and the others are much older and they don't see them much. I have made a point of going over every week knowing they will not see him much when I go, not sure if this is the right thing or not. I would like to think they would visit, although I am doubtful, and maybe wish to join us in time. Hope it goes well hun Much luck with it SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest happygolucky Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Thanks for that - it is nice to know other people have the same worries and concerns.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itchyfeet Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Quote My mother has told me she wants to die before we go! That's a shocking thing to say, let's hope it was a heat of the moment thing. (Sounds quite selfish aswell). Hope things improve for all of you because it's not real easy when their happy for you. Zoff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Hi Zoff Sorry for reply delay, computer problems!! Not a heat of the moment thing has said it more than once! I have even thought of delaying things, more for my little boy and the fact I am taking him away from his grandad! When I hear thinks like that from them though I get a little more determined, after the guilt! I have enough worries being on my own without all that!! Don't know what I would do without you lot on here. Good luck with it all hun. SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sparky Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Hi Scoop You poor thing,sounds a bit like emotional blackmail to me. When all is said and done you have to do what is right for you and you're children,i know it's hard bringing up children on you're own and i think you must be a strong women to do this by yourself,can you're mum begrudge you wanting a better life for her granchildren!! Good luck, Lisa,x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Cheers Lisa My folks are very much for themselves, they always talk about their grandson and sometimes forget he is my son!! There is a lot of family history which helps to negate my guilt. It is hard enough contemplating moving to another country and starting again maybe not being able to own property for a year or two! This weather helps to refocus the efforts though. Thanks again for your kind words hun Truly appreciated. Regards SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phil Olsen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi Scoop What I did when I migrated 10 years ago was book a flight for them to visit me within a year. When they got to Australia, they understood what it meant for me and my children. It also put me at rest. My children now go back each year and there is huge anticipation, which is also a thrill Hope that helps Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi Phil thanks for the input I would like to think they would come out to visit, more for my little boy than for me. In reality I do not think it will happen. My Mum comes to my house sometimes in Winter, she works summer markets, but my dad has only been to my house once when I totaled my car. I only live 30 mins down the road. I am the one who has to put all the work in this end and get grief when I miss a weekend visit. God forbid I will be busy, single mum three dogs! I keep hoping. thanks again for the input mate. I think I would have gone a bit doolally with the support from guys on here. Regards SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Scoop, I had anxieties about telling my dad, as it will leave him alone in England and he dotes on the kids, but even though I know he's sad he's said go for it as he always regrets not doing it when younger (my mum wouldn't leave her parents). As I'm in my early 40's I know i had to make a decision as once we hit 45 emigrating becomes a little more difficult. God forbid - but my dad could not be here in 10 years time and I would have missed the opportunity to give my children what I believe will be a better future. I know it may sound a little selfish but I cannot imagine continuing to bring up my children in this country. My dad has started an Australia fund!! and we've given him money for xmas and his birthday so he can visit. Ali x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi ali Chuffed for you hun, you never know your dad may end up wanting to come out to you :wink: I would love to think my folks would visit but in reality I know it will never happen. I know through my fear that this is the best thing for my little boy being able to be outside most of the year and not growing up to be an obese teenager. I know it's hard but at the end of the day my folks live for themselves so I have to do the same. Hope your plans go well hun and wish your father well with his Australia fund. Regards SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phil Olsen Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Hi SCoop Don't give up hope, my mother never went outside the village, is happy in her seat at home and is a stay away. When she got here (after much coaxing) she loved it Never give up hope, its amazing what happens when you make the break Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoop Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Cheers for that Phil much appreciated hun. Much luv SCoop x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest choobs Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Just when I thought this thread didn't apply to me - my Dad, who I rarely see and haven't ever spoken to at length (he's a very distant type) decided I was going to buy him lunch yesterday. I, of course, leapt at the chance to spend some time before we leave and was somewhat surprised to endure a two hour character assassination, wherin he explained exactly how I've spent the last 36 years single-handedly ruining the lives of our entire family. Yikes! And I wasn't even trying! Don't know if he's trying to hurt me because he himself is hurt (he certainly succeeded), or if he's trying to guilt trip me into not going (fat chance!) or whether I HAVE actually inadvertantly ruined the lives of the entire western world, but - frankly - I'm not sure I give a toss. I don't do judgemental and I don't do grudges, so I'll be there if they ever want to pick up the phone. What I'm not going to do, though, is take any responsibility whatsoever for this bullshit. Apologies for the rant, but this is a nice anonymous place to vent Cheers Choobs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stuckinblighty Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Just when I thought this thread didn't apply to me - my Dad, who I rarely see and haven't ever spoken to at length (he's a very distant type) decided I was going to buy him lunch yesterday. I, of course, leapt at the chance to spend some time before we leave and was somewhat surprised to endure a two hour character assassination, wherin he explained exactly how I've spent the last 36 years single-handedly ruining the lives of our entire family. Yikes! And I wasn't even trying! Don't know if he's trying to hurt me because he himself is hurt (he certainly succeeded), or if he's trying to guilt trip me into not going (fat chance!) or whether I HAVE actually inadvertantly ruined the lives of the entire western world, but - frankly - I'm not sure I give a toss. I don't do judgemental and I don't do grudges, so I'll be there if they ever want to pick up the phone. What I'm not going to do, though, is take any responsibility whatsoever for this bullshit. Apologies for the rant, but this is a nice anonymous place to vent Cheers Choobs Choobs families...nothing but a pain in the ass.My missus has'nt spoke to my parents for a few years now (long story) I havent told them about the move yet but i think they know now 'cos we were at a family party last friday nite and liz (missus) sort of told them in a rant.Ohh dear...looks like i'm in the dog house now. life's never simple,especially mine regards,Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Choobs, You're right not to take responsibility for others - if their lives are ruined they'll have played some part (at least) in that themselves, can't help thinking it was rather underhanded of your dad to do that - you're obviously better than than. As for ruining the western world - my little part of it is o.k. but stressful at the moment so take comfort in the thought that you;ve not ruined everything lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Beki Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 This kind of thing doesn't help stress levels much does it! Try not to dwell on what he said too much, he obviously on the wind up! :shock: Get back in the garden, have a beer and think of the big gap you're going to be putting between him and yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest pommy Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 As a parent left in u.k. i can relate to all i read. i was very brave when my only son decided to GO.but after twelve months we had to visit as we couldn't settle without them. On our return home we are at peace because we can "See" what they talkabout when we speak on the phone. So you young people go for it but try and be understanding of us PARENTS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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