wheezie Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hi, I have looked at few threads on moving back and I guess I am similar in lot of ways. I know only I can make the decision when it comes down to it. Been in aus now four yrs and its been great. However this last yr I have felt very unsettled. I had my third child and really struggled. My husband works, I don't, (used to be a teacher). I just feel useless worthless and am fed up. We just had a trip back to uk and I decided I wanted to move back. My husband is ok with that and could return to his old job. I am just worried ant making the wrong decision. We live out in Redlands, it's lovely and quiet. However, I am so unfulfilled. I have friends yet most from uk and tend to be unsettled too. The guys tend to work and don't feel so homesick. My other two boys are at school. I constantly hear from everyone in uk how depressing and awful it is, with crime high, immigration issues etc. Is it really so bad. I worry abt uprooting the kids to then worry even more abt them. I have started to be concerned abt my own parents hence one of reasons for returning too. But then shouldn't it be abt my family. My children are happy with whatever yet are young. I think life is calmer here. We would move back to Essex where we came from although I don't want to live same town. Does this make sense. I think I just want some reassurance and want to know how life is back there. Visiting is always fun as we seeing so many people, yet I know real life is not like that. Louise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunni1234 Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Do you have oz citizenship? If so this can make it easier to decide whether to stay or return. I say easier not easy. There are problems world wide. Problems here in OZ problems in the UK. What i am trying to say is neither place is better than the other just different. We have made the decision to go back (very soon) it was not easy but right for us at this point in time in our lives. We are oz citizens so we can come back if we choose to (but unlikely) . Just wanted to let you know you are not on your own. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fredwanteddownunder Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hello Wheezie Yes its difficult because in someways you feel like youve failed!!! I am returning back to the Uk because its right for me at this stage in my life I may come back but dont know?? I came here with Wanted down under with The BBC it made the journey more exciting but when you get down to the every day niity gritty its just the same crime, drugs, politics only here you feel like theres no connection and thats all down to our roots what we know and were we have come from, its a beautiful country and I have felt lucky to have experienced it but thats all it has been a experience it will never be home. Australia and traveling around has taught me Home is were you lay your hat youve just got to be happy in your heart and do whats right for you now and absorb the cost issues and put it down to one big adventure!!!!! I just Hope that I am not in My local supermarket and get spotted doing that show!!! hahaha!!! Do whats right for you dont worry about anything else youve been a strong person for trying it, at least you give it a shot, many others wouldnt dare!!! Best Wishes x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 ^^ You could be a local celeb when you get back Fred :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fredwanteddownunder Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I hope Not!!! hahaha!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheezie Posted May 22, 2012 Author Share Posted May 22, 2012 Hi, yeah we will have our citizenship before we return. Have our test this thurs. I have had a fantastic time but cannot see myself being here for rest of my life. It is a hard decision and very scary. I know before I was married I was quite nomadic moving around a lot and now I just think oh is this just a I am bored again and want go elsewhere. But a lot more at stake with three kids in tow now. I think people back home have this image that Australia is nirvana and I must be crazy to want to go back there. And likewise a lot of Brits here would never consider returning to uk as it perhaps is to them. But yeah the climate is wonderful and life is perhaps calmer but I don't think that's enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nollie Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 hiya, hope i dont upset or say the wrong thing, but it seems like you are feeling the way i felt after my last baby, you have said you feel unsettled and from reading your op that your hubby works and you dont.. it may be that you are feeling worthless (the same as i did) as all of a sudden all around are having grown up lives, working out with adults etc etc. being a mum can be the most lonely profession in the world, no matter how many friends you visit or playgroups you go to. I think what i am trying to get at is making small changes to your life over there, before you make the final decision to move back to the uk. It may be the move back will give you something else to focus on rather than the groundhog day suffered by mums. I am sorry if i am way of mark, but i felt the same and became obsessed with moving to australia, i have made a few changes in the way i think and things i do each day (so stopped feeling so worthless) and yes the pull to australia is still strong, but i am happy in my mind its not just cause i am bored. My biggest fear when i was at my lowest was the question (am i running away) but now realisation has set in that things will be the same in aus, i will be at home for a while, but now i know this and have made changes to me, i am happy still to proceed xxx I hope all goes well with you and if you are still there when i come over we can catch up xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 I think there is a real market for crystal balls these days!!! I am not at your stage of life but have found the move back to UK the best thing for me, for my health (physical and mental) and general sense of well being. I know there is a doom and gloom culture out there but on a day to day basis it doesnt impact me or the people I am gradually connecting with - most seem very happy with their lot, they take far more holidays than I am used to, buy nice things and drive cars newer than mine! Sure there are redundancies (as in Australia), sure there is crime (as in Australia), sure there are immigrants (as in Australia) but otherwise there really isnt that much difference. I find the weather to be fabulous - I love variety and there is that is spades - but other people seem to see one grey day and assume that the rest of the year has been like that (sunshine this morning and expecting over 20C later this week) - I am out and walking in the fabulous countryside most days now and get a real surge of joy as I walk along (people think I must be nuts, big grin on my face!!!). I do think there is a sense of boredom that comes over you if you have been one of life's adventurers in the past - 3 years is probably about enough for that to kick in. If you do decide to stay then I would suggest looking at ways to enhance your sense of self worth (I can relate to the "worthlessness" of "just" being a mum - I went and did a masters at that stage of my life and ended up in a different career that I quite enjoyed but still wasnt enough at the end of the day) - perhaps volunteer for somewhere like Lifeline or the SES, join a gym (if you can afford it - trite but true that exercise raises the endorphins) etc. However, you are lucky that your DH says he would go back with you, some of them are so happy in their own little worlds that they arent prepared to move out of their comfort zone. There is some question about whether you go back to what you left (as you would do if you returned to a job) or whether you move on to somewhere else, so you might want to think about that. Good luck with whatever you decide (Essex is looking very pretty at the mo LOL!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheezie Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 Hi, thanks quoll and nollie. Nollie I agree with such of what you said and yeah it is a case of being fed up and struggling g doing the whole family and kids thing. It is lonely and mayBe I feel back in uk I would have my parents close plus my husbands mum would help out a lot too as she is fantastic with the kids. I keep thinkingnu we would have more time as a couple which just doesn't seem to happen here. I keep myself busy with gym most days and play group. Quoll I started a masters too but am breaking at mo due to baby. But then I didn't know if it was really what i wanted to do either. It's just tough to know what's for best. I looked at lot of threads on here and it is niceto see that there are an awful lot of people who don't see uk as some crime ridden hole where it rains 365 days a yr.n Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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