sidney03 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Hello all, I'm hoping that someone can give me some advice please. My partner and I have been talking very seriously about moving to Perth. He is a Welder and has worked out there before and receives numerous job offers from company's he worked for out there. We have a 4 month old daughter together and I have a 9 year daughter from a previous marriage. Obviously the current state of the economy in this country is a massive pull to Australia. We know people in Perth and on looking on job sites, there are an abundance of job opportunities for my partner out there and in that respect know that it would not be a problem finding work. The friends we know out there could also advise on buying a home, schooling etc and speak very highly of the area they live in. The main issue we have is obtaining the permission from my 9 year old daughter's father. He sees her 2 nights a week a spends basically Sunday afternoons with her. My daughter is not thrilled at the prospect of leaving family and friends behind to move to the other side of the world but we know that we could have a far better quality of life in Oz and it would be the best for all of us. She is a confident little girl and we know that she would make friends very easily and would ultimately be very happy out there, we wouldn't make the move if for a minute we thought anyone of us would hate it. We don't think my ex will give permission for us to move her abroad without her being 100% for it herself. Has anyone had any experience with the Courts in this respect? We are aware that we need to provide them with research into schools, property etc, which we will of course do, but would like to know how people have found this process - outcomes etc. Thanks in advance for your help :cute: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolinemc Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Hiya, Haven't got much advice I'm afraid as haven't been in this position but I only hope your ex will realise that since you are the main custodian that you only have the welfare of your little girl at the foremost of your mind and only want the best for her:yes: At 9yrs they are so 'fickle' with things,my cousin and her OH have made the move,when they told their daughter she was devestated and wanted to stay with her nan,no amount of talking to her, showing her pictures worked as felt she wouldnt make friends. So my cousin thought outside the box and enrolled her in Brownies (she was in it in Ireland)and dancing before they got to Perth so that she would be making friends straight away and now she hopes she never has to come back to Ireland(thats her daughter saying that!)Maybe that could be something you might consider:huh: I hope you have some success in talking you ex around because it may make things easier for your 9 yr old. Wishing you lots of luck,sorry havent I havent been of more use Caroline:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidney03 Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 Thanks for your reply. Enrolling to Brownies is a brilliant idea, something I certainly hadn't thought about and will now look in to. I know that she would be very happy out there so fingers crossed we can talk her talk her round to the idea so that we can avoid the Courts but if needs must, it may have to be the route we go down. Thanks again, Roberta:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marzipan3010 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I am havin the same issues with my daughters dad, and shes only 6. heading to see my lawyer as her dad has threatened to have me arrested if i leave the country with her, even for a holiday so we can scope it out!! Hope you get it sorted, but if her dad is being difficult about it, goin to see a lawyer and see what rights you have may be an idea. Marzipan3010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidney03 Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 Hi, Sorry to hear your ex is being difficult, I really hope it all works out for you. We haven't even broached it with my ex yet but I know he's going to be difficult which is why I hoped my daughter would be all for it. I think he would struggle to say no if she asked him direct to let her go. I'm hoping that the Court would be on our side in anycase, he's got a bit of a checkered past with drink etc so the best place for her would be with us in Oz. Good luck with your ex. Roberta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 All the very best of luck, i hope it works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolinemc Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Guys I hope you both have lots of luck with the ex's. Its a shame they are being so short sighted,nothing to say they cant spend the holidays with them. My cousin was saying they get 3 weeks forEaster holidays,plus however long for summer so maybe something to throw into the mix? Wishing you both lots of luck xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolinemc Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Hi, Sorry to hear your ex is being difficult, I really hope it all works out for you. We haven't even broached it with my ex yet but I know he's going to be difficult which is why I hoped my daughter would be all for it. I think he would struggle to say no if she asked him direct to let her go. I'm hoping that the Court would be on our side in anycase, he's got a bit of a checkered past with drink etc so the best place for her would be with us in Oz. Good luck with your ex. Roberta Sorry just re-read you post about your ex,hopefully you wont have to go down that route...how about the chance of a puppy,I know that would defo get my little one there no questions asked!! Caroline x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I know this has been said on other threads before but we need to also spare a thought for dads too. Specially if dads have had contact and still do with their son or daughter. How would you feel as mums if dad suddenly said "I want to go to the other side of the world with our child" Just my thoughts. Good luck to everyone in this position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pintpot Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I know this has been said on other threads before but we need to also spare a thought for dads too. Specially if dads have had contact and still do with their son or daughter. How would you feel as mums if dad suddenly said "I want to go to the other side of the world with our child" Just my thoughts. Good luck to everyone in this position. I often think that when I see these sort of threads If my wife and I split up and she had custody of our son, but I had regular contact, I'd have to be VERY convinced that any proposed move to the other side of the world would be in his best interests before agreeing, because whether you like it or not, you are essentially asking the dads to give up their children. And no, Skype and the occasional holiday isn't the same. Not all dads are nobbers when it comes to their kids, in fact most aren't. I don't think it's right to paint dads who are reluctant to give up their kids as being "difficult" Sure, it makes things difficult and sometimes it means people can't move where they would want to, but that's real life and one of the things you have to accept if your family breaks up - also one of the things you have to accept if you take on someone else's children. I have a good friend who's been offered the job of his dreams in Canada but can't go because he has a 12 yr old stepdaughter, and my brother can't leave Romania (not that he particularly wants to) for the same reason - a stepdaughter. You just have to accept it and get on with it Good luck to all concerned, I hope you find a solution that's acceptable to ALL parties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Winning the right to take a child out of the country isn't a forgone conclusion, some parents have gone to court and lost. The court will take into account the relationship the child has with the absent parent and you should factor in how contact is going to be maintained e.g. paying for your ex to come over to see his daughter, sending your child to the UK for holiday and for how long and how often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alfieward Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 We have been through it and it’s not pleasant!!! We applied in 2008 I was allocated a state sponsor in 2009. We spent the best part of 5grand on solicitor and then went to Perth to do recy. Went to court with my wife's ex with a barrister another grand. Only for our daughter to say to cafcas (court welfare officer) that she didn’t want to go and that if my wife wanted to go she would go and live with her Dad. Obviously my wife was devastated. We had sold house had case officer done meds and police checks. Gutted is an understatement but it gets worse!! My trade was downgraded and we left in limbo. In February 2010 my ex lost the plot and we ended up with custody of my 10 year old son. Now April 2012 I have received an email saying I have been allocated another case officer. My first reaction was sod that can’t go through that again but we had family discussion and both kids want to go. So to make this happen we will have to go to court twice!!!! My mum had a saying "No matter how bad thing are there’s always someone worse off" ??!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 We have been through it and it’s not pleasant!!!We applied in 2008 I was allocated a state sponsor in 2009. We spent the best part of 5grand on solicitor and then went to Perth to do recy. Went to court with my wife's ex with a barrister another grand. Only for our daughter to say to cafcas (court welfare officer) that she didn’t want to go and that if my wife wanted to go she would go and live with her Dad. Obviously my wife was devastated. We had sold house had case officer done meds and police checks. Gutted is an understatement but it gets worse!! My trade was downgraded and we left in limbo. In February 2010 my ex lost the plot and we ended up with custody of my 10 year old son. Now April 2012 I have received an email saying I have been allocated another case officer. My first reaction was sod that can’t go through that again but we had family discussion and both kids want to go. So to make this happen we will have to go to court twice!!!! My mum had a saying "No matter how bad thing are there’s always someone worse off"??!! You have been through the mill with everything, I hope things get better for you and soon get things sorted out..... :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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