ayatollah Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 For years I have been trying to convince my wife to move to Australia. My dad lived in Tasmania for 13 years so I have close ties there, including a 15 year old sister. 2 years ago we took a trip out and seen family and friends in Perth and Tasmania. My wife absolutely loved it, a fantastic time was had and upon returning she was adamant that she wanted to move to Australia, Tasmania in particular. Even though I wanted nothing more in the world, I decided to have the sensible head and calm here down a bit. I said we'd think about it and talk in a month's time. I knew she was still in holiday mode and she wouldn't be making a decision based on that feeling. So a month went by and we broached the subject. And sure enough, her enthusiasm had died. I knew this would happen, so I hadn't got my hopes up too much. She kept saying that I should have sorted it when she wanted to go, and if we had have done it then, then she felt like this after then it would have been the wrong decision. While I was a bit upset, I accepted it as I don't want to force her to do anything she doesn't want to. That was all fine. Until about 2 months ago. She brought up the subject again. She said she had been thinking about it for a long time and said that she really wanted to do it. I brushed it off initially as folly, but she kept going on and I got excited! I sat her down and tried to explain everything that we would have to do, the expense, the pain of leaving family/friends, etc. But she was coming back with the fact that we already have a lot of friends in Tasmania and a community to walk straight into. She was in the perfect frame of mind, so I started making enquiries. In Tasmania I had met a lot of people, who were friends of my dad, and one of them offered me a job. I couldn't take it at the time but enquired again there when my wife had this change of heart. He said the job was still there if I wanted it and they would sponsor me for it. He said to name a date, it didn't matter when. So we were planning to go over this time next year, we wanted to have our 30th birthdays at home, which will be Jan and Feb next year. We got quotes for our dogs, belongings, etc. But we never committed to anything, thankfully. Because now, it turns out we might be pregnant. While I am over the moon at this, it is still very early stages and we are not getting carried away. But I know my wife will not want to move anywhere with a child. She has already said that we will have to move it back another year if we have a kid, but I can see this being an indefinite wait. As I say, I will be ecstatic if everything is confirmed. But this is a double edged sword and I might be losing out on Australia. Hopefully, it does just mean putting it off for another year, but I don't know if I'll have a job waiting for me then, and don't know if we'll be able to afford it with a child! But at the minute it's all guess work, and we know nothing for sure yet, but it feels weird to have one brilliant thing maybe happen in my life but another brilliant thing taken away. Just thought I'd share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JemGerrard Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You have a child on the way - and your worrying about Australia. Get a grip man. Whilst Australia is great, its just a differant life, suits some there, suits some here. But the major issues of life are the same. And being a father is the same fantsatic and scary event , most important responsibility whether in Australia or the UK. Shocking post in my opinion. The Australia delusion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toomers Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 JemGerrad - did you miss the point of the post or what!!!!! At no time did the poster say he wasnt looking forward to being a parent ect, just expressing his concerns at how his wife was up and down with the desicion to move to Oz... I understand the feeling of uncertainty can throw you off balance and his wife's frequent change of heart would concern anyone as who knows if they do eventually go she may instantly want to come back.... far from needing to "get a grip" I think he is just keeping an open and honest mind about all the possibilities and hurdles...... I have been on this trip to get to Oz for about 6 years, my wife has blown hot and cold on many occasions - normally before and after birth she has been "dont talk to me about Oz, I couldnt even think about going" and now she is "lest do it, lets go and give life atry out there FOR THE CHILDREN" hang in there, do your research and ensure you can be a good provider.... gently does it as based on her love of the place she should come round without being pushed... I wish you every success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayatollah Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Seriously?! That's what you got from that post?! I think it's quite obvious that the child would take precedence and I am ecstatic at the prospect. I just thought post up, maybe with some support from others who have been in a similar situation but still make the move. Actually your post has quite annoyed me, so judgmental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toomers Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Ayatollah.. dont let the OP post knock you off balance.. I get you and understand why you wanted to throw this out to the forum.. Be patient with your wife (and JemGerrard lol) think about where you could be in the future - plan and work towards offering your wife the security she will need to make the move... you sound like you have a good support network in Oz already just give you wife the safe feeling she needs right now. If it is meant to be it will be! and also Man to Man I understand! Jason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JemGerrard Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Seriously?! That's what you got from that post?! I think it's quite obvious that the child would take precedence and I am ecstatic at the prospect. I just thought post up, maybe with some support from others who have been in a similar situation but still make the move. Actually your post has quite annoyed me, so judgmental. Maybe the title didnt help! "The dream may be over before its begun." - I didnt think was going to be I may be a dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Congrats on your news. It's funny how life has a habit of throwing things our way when we least expect them. Hope things work out in such a way that you get a heathy, happy baby AND the move to Tassie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toomers Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 JemGerrard - this information was in the post, you cant just glean what you want from the title... Comment on the subject after reading the post, your comment "get a grip" after misundersstanding the post wasnt helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jolie Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 hey don't loose faith just yet, i am a mother of a 2 and 3yr old extremely close to my parents and lots of friends here, we did tackle the whole Austrailia thing last year but because my youngest was only one and having a 2yr old as well i needed my family and couldnt bare the thoughts of leaving them it was the only thing that stoppedd me from going. that was last year now in the last two months just like your wife did i told my hubby ive been thinking about it and now we've applied for a job to see whats out there and are thinking we might be there by july this year!!!! now im really excited about the whole thing, The main reason for doing this is the better life i want for my children as once you have a child you will know what im talking about it just becomes all about them. I found the miserable winters unbearable with the kids and really only thing for them to do is arts and crafts and watch telly which i dispise as they should be out playing, not only that but the money that can be made out there compared to recession ireland its crazy not to give it a go. I take comfort in the fact were saying were going for a year so there is no pressure for us to stay and if we really like it we wont come home!! My brothere lives out there too so at least we have some family too. who knows your wife might feel the same about a better future for your bundle so enjoy the most exciting time in your life, whats meant to be will be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest truebeliver Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 jemgerrard! that was harsh!!!!!!! on the OP yes your new arrival has held your plans back unexpectedly and your certainly allowed to be a bit gutted about that your only human and im sure your thrilled at the prospect of bieng a new dad two differnt subjects with two different emotions, but from the sounds of it your going to be a very busy man! so taking time out to be a dad is probably going to be a blessing and a very rewarding one at that, i think you did the right thing to get your wife to seriously think about it you obvs know her very well relocating to the other side of the world should not to be rushed and im sure if it was meant to be there will be a job opportunity one way or the other when you and your familly are ready to go good luck and congratulations dawn x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JemGerrard Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 jemgerrard! that was harsh!!!!!!! Maybe from being married to an Aussie, and each of us having family in the opposite country, and probably having opposite choices of where we would like on the face of it , right now choose to be. I can see the equal and opposite benefits and negatives of both countries to our lives. So I dont think it harsh, its just not really very important. Especially if his wife never shares the dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perplexed Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Don't lose heart ayatollah! Its a great start that your wife is on board with a potential move to Australia. Also, you don't know how she'll feel after she has the baby, maybe she will be even more determined to go and make a life of it out there. It was very considerate of you to make sure your wife was certain before making any plans - we all know what holiday brain does to you! I was the same when my husband said he wanted to move to Australia - disbelief and then the whole "are you really sure" questions come along.Being a parent is the most wonderful thing in the world. Congratulations!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest truebeliver Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 jemgerrard you told him to "get a grip" and said it was a "shocking post" in my opinion thats harsh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toomers Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 JemGerrad - no amount of back peddling or smoke screens can erase the fact your comment wasnt needed. The OP is a new poster and you came in with a stupid comment with no real understanding of the post!! even the below quoted post from yourself really doenst help!! It was his wifes "dream" and if you read the post correctly he advised her to wait a while after returning from Oz to gain a balance on her feelings!! Saying to someone "get a grip" when all they were doing was sharing a situation and asking for oponions is HARSH wether you accept it or not... I look forward to your next contribution NOT!!!!!!! Maybe from being married to an Aussie, and each of us having family in the opposite country, and probably having opposite choices of where we would like on the face of it , right now choose to be. I can see the equal and opposite benefits and negatives of both countries to our lives. So I dont think it harsh, its just not really very important. Especially if his wife never shares the dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maruska Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Congratulations on the baby:wubclub:. There will always be jobs whenever you decide to move especially because you have friends and family in Tasmania already. It might be that your wife will be even more willing to move after baby for better lifestyle or opportunities ( I don`t know what your life is like in the UK and if it would be change for the better). We are attempting a move with 4 years old and 18 months old and while I am a bit apprehensive I think it`s doable ( a lot of people on this forum made the move with kids). Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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