JoandJon Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I get grumpy very easily at the moment, so have decided to publish a list (ok another one) of the rules of public transport in Melbourne. 1. Escalators have two lanes: Stand on the left, walk on the right. If you stand on the right you will be shot. 2. When it's peak-hour and the escalator is crowded, the rule of thumb is this: one step only between people, not two. (i.e. Person - gap - person) 3. Don't sit near me if you smell of any of the following: Vomit, Urine, Mould, Bananas, strong perfume, cigarettes, illegal substances, stale beer, 4. Your bag did not pay for a seat, so don't 'humph' or glare at me if I tell you to move it so I can sit down. 5. Please turn your music down - yes you. 6. I sit near the end of a row because I get off at an early stop in the city. No I will not sit near the window because then I won't be able to get out at the other end. You're welcome to squeeze past me, but I'm not moving. Sorry. 7. I really don't care what your best-mates boyfriend did to that spazzo from history. You bore me. Go away. 8. Weird people are allowed to sit within my eyeshot so I can take the p&ss out of them on facebook, just not close enough that I have to interact or shield my phone so you can't see that I'm talking about you. 9. Dogs are welcome, Morons are not. Cats can take their chances if they feel brave. 10. Don't spray perfume on the train unless you want me to vomit on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest57588 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I get grumpy very easily at the moment, so have decided to publish a list (ok another one) of the rules of public transport in Melbourne. 1. Escalators have two lanes: Stand on the left, walk on the right. If you stand on the right you will be shot. 2. When it's peak-hour and the escalator is crowded, the rule of thumb is this: one step only between people, not two. (i.e. Person - gap - person) 3. Don't sit near me if you smell of any of the following: Vomit, Urine, Mould, Bananas, strong perfume, cigarettes, illegal substances, stale beer, 4. Your bag did not pay for a seat, so don't 'humph' or glare at me if I tell you to move it so I can sit down. 5. Please turn your music down - yes you. 6. I sit near the end of a row because I get off at an early stop in the city. No I will not sit near the window because then I won't be able to get out at the other end. You're welcome to squeeze past me, but I'm not moving. Sorry. 7. I really don't care what your best-mates boyfriend did to that spazzo from history. You bore me. Go away. 8. Weird people are allowed to sit within my eyeshot so I can take the p&ss out of them on facebook, just not close enough that I have to interact or shield my phone so you can't see that I'm talking about you. 9. Dogs are welcome, Morons are not. Cats can take their chances if they feel brave. 10. Don't spray perfume on the train unless you want me to vomit on you. Aren't they now arming some of the Metlink staff on certain routes?. If they're as quick to get their guns out as they are to issue fines then you'll probably get your wish soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckleface Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Diddums - not sure whether I should laugh or give you a hug. Might just do both :laugh::hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 What can I say - I've had a couple of 'interesting' journeys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisleylass Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Applies to Brisbane too! Although most journeys have been pretty quiet in terms of conversation and music, at peak time anyway. Back in the UK I was sick of kids/neds playing squealy techno music on their phones! The bag thing really annoys me. Brisbanites are bad with this. I'll freely admit, one day I was on a quiet bus (off peak) and slung my bag on the aisle seat. I was engrossed in reading and hadn't noticed the bus getting busier. I looked up at one stop and realised there were only a couple of seats left, and quickly moved my bag so a lady could sit down, and she apologised! I just said well, my bag didn't buy a ticket so doesn't get a seat which made her chuckle ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 People who put their feet on the seats (everyone in Sydney)....... So you inevitably plonk your bum on filth :frown: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 *Sigh* Quite a dull train this morning - no real ppl watching of interest. Hang on -heres Dandenong, there's usually spme special ppl getting pn.... Wait abd see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not eveb the usual noisy music! There are 2 women ppposite both fallibg asleep with the 'forward nod' approach. 1 womabn wearing ludicrous sunglasses. The regular blind guy with his lively black lab guide dog. Dullsville!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoandJon Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 GLovely not lively phone is v annoying - would edit but cabt control cursor that eell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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