SpongeRobert Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 If anyone is listening i could do with some advice please. My family and I have been in Perth now 5 months and everything is going well and everyone is beginning to settle down. The difficulty I am having is with my youngest daughter who is 11. she loves the school she is in and is doing really well with her academic studies but and it is a big but....she hasn't got any friends in her class. In the UK she didn't do well at school but had a best friend..her and her friend against the world so to speak. Now she is in a small school which only has 4 year 6 girls. The other 3 year 6 girls are very very clicky and one in particular is not very nice to her (bullies her a bit). This means she has no female to talk to in class etc. I know you think why did i put her into this school...well today I am wondering this myself but at the time i liked the school, children were nice, thought 3 kids bound to to one left out so even numbers and not too big a school. They have joined the year 6 and year 7's together so there are some more girls in the class but the class is split into two with year 7's on one side and year 6's on the other, then when she does find a year 7 to be paired with(like in PE) two girls go together and the girl left out comes and takes my daughters partner as she has known them longer, she is being excluded from the group of 3 cos this girls tells her to go away, stop following them etc so sits on her own, walks between classes on her own, talks to no one during class time so is withdrawing further from the world. She is ok at lunch and recess as she has friends in the year 5 class. So i guess I'm asking advice. I have removed her from her school in the UK where she wasn't doing well but had a best friend, moved her across the world for better life and yes she has a much better life, is happy in Australia, is happy at school, likes her school, doesn't want to move schools, they won't move her into a different class but..................................................... has no friends in her class. So? what should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 If she has friends at lunch and recess then I wouldn't worry too much, but do talk to her about the likelyhood of finding a close friend out of a sample of three people who's only common ground is age and where their parents live. Is the current yr 5 and yr 6 likely to also form a dual yeargroup class next year? Maybe talk to the teachers about ways they could make sure she gets included more, such as the teachers picking the pairs for PE on a rotating basis (she might not end up with a "friend" but at least wouldn't feel actively left out, and can get to know other people). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest braziersm Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 hi welcome to perth,we have been here 6 years and are going threw the motions of moving back to uk,, my two sons left school here at 15 as they were the same just could not seem to make any good friends, they have since completed apprentaships and are doing well,my 9 nearly ten year old daughter was at a great school and had some great mates most of which were new english comming over, we moved house and kept her at the same school for a year but decided to move her to the one which was just a walk away from our house. We wish that we had not as they were so clickie and and she found it very hard to make friends,also the parents were as bad,she started to miss school and even ran away from school ( at 9 ).After a year of lots of tears we decided to move back to the uk,i feel that unless you grow up with the kids at school here then theres not much chanch of making best friends, as your daughters older and loves the school then maybe give it time, theres always lots of new people comming over all the time ,i wish her lots of luck x:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 i feel that unless you grow up with the kids at school here then theres not much chanch of making best friends, From experience, the same applies in the UK. However, not having friends in your class is not necessarily the be all and end all, provided there are other opportunities for socialising outside of class (lunch/recess/out of school clubs/hobbies). Also worth bearing in mind that when transitioning to secondary school, there'll be a whole lot more new people to meet, and friendships will change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 .........often by making the teacher aware.........some situations can be avoided..........ie the teacher will pair up the children..........and by havving after school hobbies.............she could make a friend with the same interests..............don't worry one of mine seemed to have no friends for a couple of school years.........sat alone.........in class and recess...........did ok at school...........then suddenly had lots of new friends..........new school year............different set of children............as long as she is content at school and doing well..............friends will come along.............tink x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 A two pronged attack I think. First, be sure that her teacher and/or the student welfare person knows what the situation is and how it is unfolding. The teacher may also have some clues about what your daughter is doing (or not) which makes making friendships hard for her - sometimes it is the silly little things like being a teacher's pet, dissing the other girls' efforts, just generally being non responsive/shy, (being too tall/short/clever/pretty/naive- not much you can do about those though) and you can address those issues between you if there are any glaringly obvious ones. Secondly, look at her out of school activities for developing friendships - sometimes it is easier to click with someone if you have shared interests. Encourage those friendships and you may find that there are friends who go to a different school and it then may become an option to seek to move to a school with a known group of friends. It is tough being a parent when your kids are doing it tough at school - and schools are jungles!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tisme Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 And young girls can be very nasty, Hate to say it but more so than boys. :wideeyed: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 What I would suggest is inviting them over for a get together party, make it real fun, this worked for mine when we got here, we had a party and it was a great way to get friends with the parents as well as bring the kids closer together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpongeRobert Posted February 8, 2012 Author Share Posted February 8, 2012 Thank you so much for all the replies. I was feeling so low about this issue esp as its one of the things we all worry about when moving from one country to another and this doesn't matter whether its UK to Aus or Aus to UK. I took the advice offered and spoke to the teacher. My daughter explained what was happening and how it was making her feel. There were/are some things which are not helping in the transition and these include being very quiet and shy, being in the support a reader group which has caused these girls to believe she can't read (she can, its her understanding), that she will sit on the outside at group times and doesn't push herself forward...over all its her shyness cum self confidence that is hampering her. We are now trying to tackle each of these. However this doesn't lesson the behaviour of these girls and the school have acknowledged this one particular girl as being a problem. Her teacher from last term spoke to new teacher on our behalf, her teacher is now deciding which groups people go in, is stamping on any "bossyness", is giving my daughter lots of praise for being assertive and putting her hand up etc and is watching these girls overall behaviour. So school is looking up a bit. I also enrolled her into ice skating after school which she started on sunday (its not near school so new friends) and have enrolled her in a dance group near where we are planning to live when our house is built in the hope she will meet new friends. Her older sister (at high school and loving it!) is also being really helpful in letting her join in with "older girls" to boost her confidence and help her to chat with people who listen to the younger ones. Her friends don't mind at all and welcome her into the group. So fingers crossed things move on the up. As for the party.....think we will invite her friends in the year below to a pool party once our house and pool is built and let these 3 girls sort themselves out. Thank you so so so much for all your help and i think i have undertaken everyone's advice! oh yes and she is happy because the school have introduced a "buddy" system this year and she has been paired with a little girl in umm think its called Kindy? or maybe its pre-primary? so least she will have another friend! Only 2 years and then high school............................................. yes well we will face that one when I have to!!!! :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockDr Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 great! glad to hear things are working themselves out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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