GavCar Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hi everyone! Haven't been on for a while as been on holiday. Hope you all had a lovely xmas and New Year! We had a wonderful holiday in Italy but I'm slightly concerned that as towards the end of the holiday we started to miss everyone and look forward to coming home and its worried us about going to Oz. We're both just having a bit of a panic about being so far away from all our friends and family - I think it's sinking in that it is a really big deal and we'll be lucky to see people once a year. I'm now feeling torn between the life that we have always dreamed of and can we really live without our family in our lives? I know we dont have to stay but its a lot of upheaval and money to spend and I also have quote a good job at the moment. :arghh: I dont know if its just a panic or if I'm really having second thoughts. We weighed up all the pro's and cons at the end of the holiday and the reasons we want to go well outway the ones to stay but none of it is relevant if we just miss everyone constantly! I am very close to my dad and I think that will I feel terrible one day when he's not around and that I didnt spend much time with him. :sad: Its not the living abroad that I'm worried about its the distance - if it was a few hours we could go home a few times a year and would be easier for people to visit. We also had a lot of problems trying for a baby for quite a few years and we had many tests and were under the care of a specialist miscarriage clinic in london before we took a break for a couple of years as it was an awful time. We are now wondering if we should validate the visa and carry on trying here rather than putting it on hold ttil after we move to Oz and find jobs and settle in as it has taken us a long time to get to this point of help and I have a wonderful doctor. Also I'm starting to panic about going through what we went through in Oz without friends/family there to support us. If we validate and try for a baby here first I'm scared we wont end up going and if we dont go for a few years will that affect renewing the visa when it expires? We wanted this sooo badly and now I just feel really confused :confused: Just wanted to get it off my chest, thanks for listening. Cara xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheOptimist Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Aww, Cara, you need a big :hug: If your family/friends are as important to you as that, perhaps you should do nothing for a while until you are a little clearer as to what is most important to you? Living on the other side of the world would, I imagine, feel very isolating if you are pining after your family constantly, especially if you are hoping to start a family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GavCar Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 Thanks, We're normally quite an independant couple and don't see family on a day to day basis but we do all live within a short drive of the same town so maybe we just take it for granted that we can see them whenever we want. Thinking of going to Oz has made me want to spend more time with them and make the most of it so we have been spending more time with them all recently which I think has actually made things worse lol I think we are going to see how things go with the visa, validate, fingers crossed we will have a child in the Uk and the see how we feel after. Its likely that its just a panic and that when the time is right we will go. Another issue is that if we cant get pregnant we will have to look at something like adoption or surrogacy which as we are already 32/33 will prob not be able to do in Oz as will be too old by the time we are citizens. Thanks a lot for your reply x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest June Pixie Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 I totally empathise with your post - I am having serious wobbles - Even ignoring a call from our agent with the good news that we are now Category 2 - Medicals now! I'm not happy about moving. I enjoy my life in the UK, have a good job, constantly contact Envirocall to come to pick up the **** left after the binmen have been and actually appreciate living in the UK.... I love Spain and have been over there lots recently - only 3 hours away! If I move anywhere in the next 5 years it will be Spain. Plus my Uncle is UK bound after spending 18 years in Brisbane. He freaked out knowing no one was over there to arrange his funeral. That kind of scares me a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GavCar Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 I totally empathise with your post - I am having serious wobbles - Even ignoring a call from our agent with the good news that we are now Category 2 - Medicals now! I'm not happy about moving. I enjoy my life in the UK, have a good job, constantly contact Envirocall to come to pick up the **** left after the binmen have been and actually appreciate living in the UK.... I love Spain and have been over there lots recently - only 3 hours away! If I move anywhere in the next 5 years it will be Spain. Plus my Uncle is UK bound after spending 18 years in Brisbane. He freaked out knowing no one was over there to arrange his funeral. That kind of scares me a little. Hi, Thanks for your reply, I think to be honest one of the things is that we have realised that we cant put off the trying for a baby thing anymore as we really want to be parents and might end up missing out if we take another couple of years out. I know in normal circumstances people would say it shouldnt make any difference but it does with us because of previous medical problems and as I have a blood clotting issue I doubt they would want me to fly at all during pregnancy. I just have to be careful with timing for validation. Another bonus is I get maternity leave in the UK but not in Oz. I think we'll still go but not as soon as we thought. So have you decided not to go at all then? Cara x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest June Pixie Posted January 9, 2011 Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hmm, you are similar to us then - not to go into everything we are on a time scale with family planning and the pros of staying in the UK far outweigh the cons in terms of medical assistance. I value the NHS and all it has to offer. Although realistically I do realise the UK will have to move to a more insurance based system. It's a shame because it could work so good if it weren't for all the blasted red tape and over-priced tenders. Sorry rant over. Yes we will go through with it and validate, then return home, then our 14 year old will have a visa to be able to live and work in her gap year if she so wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GavCar Posted January 9, 2011 Author Share Posted January 9, 2011 Hmm, you are similar to us then - not to go into everything we are on a time scale with family planning and the pros of staying in the UK far outweigh the cons in terms of medical assistance. I value the NHS and all it has to offer. Although realistically I do realise the UK will have to move to a more insurance based system. It's a shame because it could work so good if it weren't for all the blasted red tape and over-priced tenders. Sorry rant over. Yes we will go through with it and validate, only for our 14 year old. She will have a visa to be able to live and work in her gap year. Yeah us too we will def go through with it and validate as we still want to go but would just like a bit more time to sort things out here and be 100% sure its the right decision. If you feel like discussing more detail on the family planning issues PM me. Im having a bit of a panic about trying again as it was soooo traumatic last time - but like my friend said if we want a baby we goota keep trying! I agree with the NHS being seriously let down by issues - what a shame :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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