Guest Guest37175 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 I'm starting work next week at long last, although as stints of unemployment go, it was more like a holiday that I couldn't afford than Bleak House. Naturally in these uncertain times I'm going through an agency. That's all that seems to be on offer these days. Nick Clegg got the last proper job going (Wanted: Person to make David Cameron seem plausible by comparison) so there's F-all else. In my line of work, as a 'Vile Kiddy-Snatcher' (Copyright Daily Mail) or Social Worker as I'd prefer to be called, there's normally always been loads of jobs. We're talking the misery business here and traditionally no b^gger ever wanted to work in it. But now, even after the tragedies of the past decade, jobs are drying up as the 'Broke-Back Coalition' (copyright David Davis MP 2010) are cutting back quicker than Cyril Smith's favourite pie-shop. I had to laugh the other day when the spotty twenty-something at my agency asked me to provide a character-reference to cover the 6 weeks (count 'em!) that I've been back in the UK. The agency have got a Criminal Records Bureau Check that's only three weeks old and a heap of references that go back to when I was being breast-fed, but that still wasn't enough. I tried to explain that during those weeks my time had been spent job-seeking, eating chocolate Hob-Nobs and watching The Ryder Cup (often simultaneously), but he told me "Look, I know it's a bit of a pain, but we have to comply with anti-terrorist legislation...we need to know what you've been up to." Now I can tell you, I don't fit the classic terrorist profile. I have a long-standing affection for London Transport, I've never wondered about Pakistan as a possible holiday destination and I'm allergic to khaki. Nor have I ever been radicalised, although, if I hear one more surly jobsworth tell me "Well, you can't expect us to contact Australia to verify that can you?," then I may instigate a Jihad of my own! Anyone else experienced cr@p like this upon returning?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrcatania Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Ha Ha.... You should have just claimed assylum on arrival ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddysMum Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 No experience and I feel your pain, but that did make me :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36762 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I'm starting work next week at long last, although as stints of unemployment go, it was more like a holiday that I couldn't afford than Bleak House. Naturally in these uncertain times I'm going through an agency. That's all that seems to be on offer these days. Nick Clegg got the last proper job going (Wanted: Person to make David Cameron seem plausible by comparison) so there's F-all else. In my line of work, as a 'Vile Kiddy-Snatcher' (Copyright Daily Mail) or Social Worker as I'd prefer to be called, there's normally always been loads of jobs. We're talking the misery business here and traditionally no b^gger ever wanted to work in it. But now, even after the tragedies of the past decade, jobs are drying up as the 'Broke-Back Coalition' (copyright David Davis MP 2010) are cutting back quicker than Cyril Smith's favourite pie-shop. I had to laugh the other day when the spotty twenty-something at my agency asked me to provide a character-reference to cover the 6 weeks (count 'em!) that I've been back in the UK. The agency have got a Criminal Records Bureau Check that's only three weeks old and a heap of references that go back to when I was being breast-fed, but that still wasn't enough. I tried to explain that during those weeks my time had been spent job-seeking, eating chocolate Hob-Nobs and watching The Ryder Cup (often simultaneously), but he told me "Look, I know it's a bit of a pain, but we have to comply with anti-terrorist legislation...we need to know what you've been up to." Now I can tell you, I don't fit the classic terrorist profile. I have a long-standing affection for London Transport, I've never wondered about Pakistan as a possible holiday destination and I'm allergic to khaki. Nor have I ever been radicalised, although, if I hear one more surly jobsworth tell me "Well, you can't expect us to contact Australia to verify that can you?," then I may instigate a Jihad of my own! Anyone else experienced cr@p like this upon returning?! Careful mate, before you know it you'll be pining for those upbeat Aussie agency types who (I'd like to imagine, at least on the GC) whilst vacuous and dumb, are blonde, busty, and perky to the point of exploding (and that's the blokes). Are you sure you were breast fed? If you believed the propaganda from the Nipple Nazis (AKA midwives, health nurses and WHO) breast fed infants are more intelligent, less prone to attacks of blatant cynicism, and never experience any negative emotions. Also the propaganda states that exclusive breastfeeding til the age of 36 is mandatory to reap these benefits, so if true maybe your references aren't complete enough. I do agree with the Daily Mail that you SW's are vile 'kiddy snatchers'; either that or criminally negligent. Which one are you? In my trade (brickie) I've found that leaving the UK for more than a couple of weeks is enough to become de-skilled and out of date with the latest developments and government initiatives. Cheers HarpoDom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest32776 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 In my trade (brickie) I've found that leaving the UK for more than a couple of weeks is enough to become de-skilled and out of date with the latest developments and government initiatives. I've heard keeping up with cutting edge hod technology nowadays can be a real challenge. If I go back to my old trade in the UK (on the bins) retraining would be essential. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 How frustrating, but your post is so well written it made me giggle as well:em3600: sorry! I hope you can account for those 6 weeks to appease them! :wink:and very best wishes for you and your family's future Susie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Similar story with nursing it seems some areas are talking about redundencies - used to be nursing and social work were jobs for life. I did think you'd have been able to walk straight back in with social services though. Hope you manage to get a reference lol ... your post made me smile ... Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest UFO Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I have been working in Europe on and off since 2007 as IT contractor(to help with a move to Australia). Many companies in the UK, even recrultment agents have looked at me in the same light. Some companies wont even bother with me due to having different countries on my cv. I believe they think you are trailtor for living the uk or some rubbish like that. :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest famousfive Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 What a great post.Maybe you could get some of the mods on here to give you a reference.It may account for a lot of that 6 week 'missing' period and if you were on here as much as some of the rest of us anyone with one brain cell will be able to see that you really did not have enough time left over[after PIO] to organise a jihad of any significance.:biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest valleylass Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Anyone else experienced cr@p like this upon returning?! Yes I did, and I wasn't in Australia for that long. I had five CRBs done between February and June at 45 of your English pounds each :goofy: If you need enhanced checks for the job you do then that's unfortunately the system; this doesn't explain why they are anticipating your latent terrorism to rear it's head. This reminds me of the time my cousin was visited by the police because his thick Scouse accent was mistaken for Irish brogue and they suspected him of terrorism. His crime was..... looking for a house to rent in the Cotswolds - they don't get many Scouse accents down there and it made 'em anxious. Clearly with an accent like that he's an IRA member:biggrin: I suppose it makes a change from being suspected of theft cos of your Scouse accent - did that ever happen on the Goldie?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jo and Dave Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 LOL !! It isn't Cotswold police it's CLotswold police, I can just imagine the scene too, I bet they even dusted down their never used before riot gear to do the job too... probably wasn't even wearing it properly either. I also smiled about the Agency policies, for ***ks sake, they make it as blatantly difficult as possible, that in itself is surely a way of radicalising you, put you at odds with the rest of the sane world, seems almost like a Reggie Perrin moment, you can always imagine picking up the chair you were sat on and side swiping the smug git !! I hope all goes well for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madgen Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 very interesting post! how have you found the work situation in social work now, particularly in relation to agency social work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest37175 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 very interesting post! how have you found the work situation in social work now, particularly in relation to agency social work? There's still work around, although it's harder to come by now, as it is in every walk of life really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madgen Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 are you managing to keep in work though? what part of the UK are you living/working in? I suppose the bulk of the work is still child protection? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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