1 Year Anniversary!

[christopher]

I do read these forums but haven't really posted much but heres my story!

 

I moved out to Sydney exactly one year ago today with my Australian wife. She is from Perth but having visited Perth when we got married and then Sydney for our honeymoon, I knew Perth wasn't for me but loved the Idea of moving to Sydney. I Must say at this point I met my wife in England when she was visiting (her parents are english and had a house in England aswell as Perth) we met, fell in Love got married lived in England and after 7 Years we decided to move to Sydney.

 

One year on we have both got jobs and we have managed to buy a house in a beautiful suburb and on the face of it a successful move. The problem is for the last few months the 'novelty' has now well and truly worn off, I have been incredibly homesick, people say 'but look where you live' which is easy to say but there is something in me which kind of knows it isn't right, maybe that will change with time I'm not sure. One of the issues with all of this is my wife is loving it out here, her sister has just moved over from perth with her family so she is loving being an aunty, and we too would like to think about kids but I'm not sure my head is in the right space at the moment. She is dreading the thought of me wanting to move back to the UK.

 

It's such a strange feeling but think one of the main reasons I am not settling very well is because we had a very good life in England (or maybe I did!), my wife just hated the weather (whereas I hate the heat over here!)

I just miss s much of what I had and I think its starting to turn me into a whinging Pom .

 

I miss my big circle of friends

I miss my family

I miss my band I used to be in (the music scene in Sydney is just shocking)

I miss proper pubs (without bloody poker machines)

I find it stupidly expensive for what you get ($9.50 for a pint of bitter!!)

I miss being so close to Europe

I miss british TV

I miss british Humour

I miss being able to buy a decent European car without having to sell an organ!! ($45,000 for a mini!!)

I actually miss the weather and the changing seasons

I miss being able to get a decent curry

I'm findin Australia far too 'Americanised'

I'm finding everything a bit scruffy and lacking in style

I'm finding once you get over the Harbour and those things Sydney is actually a bit bland, I used to live in yorkshire and everything was close, the countryside and many different cities.

 

(theres probably quite a fe more things I could add)

 

See what I mean about being a winger and this is something I never wanted to be, I do apreciate I am probably not immersing myself into things as much as I should but when you are working full time (and a lot more hours than in the UK!) have a stupid big mortgage to pay for its difficult to find the time.

 

I am visiting home for a wedding in a months time and I'm actually dreading going because I will have to leave again.

 

I will say this though I am not bagging Australia I think its a fantastic place...... for a holiday.

 

Time will tell but Im not sure these feelings will change.

[Conniebygaslight]

I do read these forums but haven't really posted much but heres my story!

 

I moved out to Sydney exactly one year ago today with my Australian wife. She is from Perth but having visited Perth when we got married and then Sydney for our honeymoon, I knew Perth wasn't for me but loved the Idea of moving to Sydney. I Must say at this point I met my wife in England when she was visiting (her parents are english and had a house in England aswell as Perth) we met, fell in Love got married lived in England and after 7 Years we decided to move to Sydney.

 

One year on we have both got jobs and we have managed to buy a house in a beautiful suburb and on the face of it a successful move. The problem is for the last few months the 'novelty' has now well and truly worn off, I have been incredibly homesick, people say 'but look where you live' which is easy to say but there is something in me which kind of knows it isn't right, maybe that will change with time I'm not sure. One of the issues with all of this is my wife is loving it out here, her sister has just moved over from perth with her family so she is loving being an aunty, and we too would like to think about kids but I'm not sure my head is in the right space at the moment. She is dreading the thought of me wanting to move back to the UK.

 

It's such a strange feeling but think one of the main reasons I am not settling very well is because we had a very good life in England (or maybe I did!), my wife just hated the weather (whereas I hate the heat over here!)

I just miss s much of what I had and I think its starting to turn me into a whinging Pom .

 

I miss my big circle of friends

I miss my family

I miss my band I used to be in (the music scene in Sydney is just shocking)

I miss proper pubs (without bloody poker machines)

I find it stupidly expensive for what you get ($9.50 for a pint of bitter!!)

I miss being so close to Europe

I miss british TV

I miss british Humour

I miss being able to buy a decent European car without having to sell an organ!! ($45,000 for a mini!!)

I actually miss the weather and the changing seasons

I miss being able to get a decent curry

I'm findin Australia far too 'Americanised'

I'm finding everything a bit scruffy and lacking in style

I'm finding once you get over the Harbour and those things Sydney is actually a bit bland, I used to live in yorkshire and everything was close, the countryside and many different cities.

 

(theres probably quite a fe more things I could add)

 

See what I mean about being a winger and this is something I never wanted to be, I do apreciate I am probably not immersing myself into things as much as I should but when you are working full time (and a lot more hours than in the UK!) have a stupid big mortgage to pay for its difficult to find the time.

 

I am visiting home for a wedding in a months time and I'm actually dreading going because I will have to leave again.

 

I will say this though I am not bagging Australia I think its a fantastic place...... for a holiday.

 

Time will tell but Im not sure these feelings will change.

 

 

Christopher- it must be so hard for you- I'm from Yorkshire too and married to an aussie- fortunately my hubby is homesick for Yorkshire too and we are heading back in Sept after only being here since Jan for all the reasons you state above. I think the main thing with here is that wherever you chose to settle has to have everything you will want for ever otherwise you are stuck because you cant really get anywhere else easily as places are so spread out.

 

Good luck and there will be lots of support offered to you on here but if you feel like this now....

 

:hug:

[Guest JulieW]

I miss exactly the same things you do!

 

Im also married to an Australian'and we also met and married in the UK before coming here 5 years ago. The difference is that we have children who are settled at school and would find it hard to adjust now to schools in the UK, as they would miss whole years because of the different school year and starting age here. My husband works in an industry which is in freefall in the UK and sadly I cannot earn the salary he does, although I would find it easier to get work in the UK in my type of work.

 

So my advice is to move back to the UK before you have children as, once you do, everything gets a lot harder. Im on the point of just going back with the children but that would mean breaking the family up. So try to persuade your wife that she was happy in the UK before and that you could have great holidays in Australia for the rest of your lives. As you say, Australia is great for holidays! If you stay and continue to be unhappy here, then have children here, you may find that you become trapped here.

 

All the things you listed as things you miss simply cannot be found in Australia, and it is a long list.

[Guest chloew]

I miss all those things, oh to be able to go to the pub for a pint of cider and a packet of peanuts without all those "pokies" or to be in Europe within hours. We have decided to move back later this year, so we are sorted out before the babies have started school.

[Zoot]

Sad thing is whether you stay or whether you move someone is going to be unhappy - your wife has her family in Australia you have your family in the UK, she enjoys the heat you dont. Perhaps going back for the wedding is a good time to reevaluate the situation and see what you think with the perspective of having lived in Australia for a year. You dont say if your wife is going with you to the wedding cause if she is it gives you both a chance to review Australia and the UK and see which one will tick the boxes for both of you. This decision is one you need to make together or else the inability to settle will tear your marriage apart.

 

It is also understandable that after a year you are feeling a bit flat - as you say the novelty has worn off, initially everything is new and exciting, you do all the touristy things and visit places you have heard about but never seen and you are busy setting up your life which takes a lot of your time and energy, but once you have all that in place day to day living takes over which is pretty uninteresting either place (washing, cleaning, going to work just doesnt quite stack up there with the things to do before you die kind of things). It can be then that everything about a place gets on your nerves.

 

Just make sure whatever decision you reach you know why you have chosen either the UK or Australia and can "justify" it to yourselves. Else you may find that even if you return to the UK after you have settled in and caught up with all your mates you start missing things in Oz and thinking that perhaps living there was better so then you find yourselves in the position of packing and moving to Australia again to see if it is as good as you remember and then missing things in the UK and moving back to the UK etc etc etc. Ping pong ......

 

It is a tough decision either way so best of luck to you.

[Guest mozziebite]

Yep, really miss all those things too, especially the British sense of humour. I totally hear what you are saying about working longer hours than the U.K. Often I read on PIO about people coming for a better work/life balance sadly this has not been the case for us. A 45 hour week minimum seems to be the norm, husband leaves work between 6 p.m. and 6.30 p.m and leaves them all in there at their desks! I know before you hit back everyone that this is not the case for you all but on a 457 you either put up or get out and sometimes the latter is easier said than done! He has to leave early every morning cos the traffic around Sydney is horrendous.

 

It is okay when you haven't got kids, work til 6 or 7 then hit a pizzeria or a pub, doesn't matter so much when you are younger but long weeks of constant work are quite tiring, oh yes there were a few months in the summer when we managed to have our tea outside in the sunshine if he got back by 7 but now its dark earlier, he gets back knackered, heads straight for the fridge and has a beer!! He has been refused holiday when he wanted to take it (school hols) - no, sorry, this hasn't worked out to be a 'better work life balance' for us at all.

 

I sat and moaned about missing home and not being able to get a job blah blah and the kids missed their pals and grandparents and my poor hubby was working hard all week, I feel so selfish now! Weekends was us 3 all saying 'yah, lets go' when all he wanted to do was chill. We are heading home in June, one happy mum, two happy kids and one burnt out hubby!

[Guest mozziebite]

Just read my post above and had a good laugh at the beer bit - nowt wrong with having a beer after work folks, just meant nowt else to do, dark outside, beer in hand, feet on settee, you get the picture!