koala77 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Like everyone on this part of the forum, I've got that really unsettled feeling and want to go back to the UK. I'm an Aussie that first moved to the UK during uni days and stayed 3 years. Then one year, things were difficult at work, a family member was ill and when a job in Australia came up that I was offered, I packed up and moved back. I knew within weeks I'd made the wrong decision, but told myself that it was just re-entry issues. I furnished a house and tried to fit in. When the year contract was up and I was offered permanent I turned it down and got the international movers in and moved back to the UK. I never really settled, but I did feel I was in the right country. I said I'd never return to Australia and I finally went for permanent residency. My mum's English and although she's been in Australia for 40 years, she's never really settled. 9 years on and the credit crunch hit, my relationship broke up and I'd not managed a holiday home in 5 years. I started to think about Australia and being closer to family and when a few of my really close UK friends mentioned they were considering migrating, I decided I was going home. This time I chose Melbourne. I spent a few months with my family in Adelaide and got quality time with them. Then I got a job in Melbourne, came here, made friends, enjoyed the job, got a great place to rent and started the whole furnish the place and my stuff was shipped over. But even with a great salary, I was finding that I was never going to be able to afford a place where I wanted to live - I'd be stuck renting - and I really want a home and to feel settled - somewhere I can call my own. While I've made friends, something still isn't right and I hate the dating game too and all the men I've met turn me off - I think it's the accent! Christmas just wasn't right - even though I spent it with family for the first time in ten years, it had no atmosphere. I'm normally a real Christmas person, and I had a great Christmas in 2008 with friends - loads of atmosphere and good times. I'd felt that the last Christmas I had here too. While I love being by the sea, and walking home via the walkway along the bay, I don't want to go in the sea or lay in the sun. I burn way too quickly, need to cover up and have four new moles (I have a real English complexion). I loved the sea in the UK, and had been contemplating moving to Cornwall for years. I had learn to surf down there as well, but I hate surfing here - I have a real phobia of sharks due to being on a beach years ago as a kid when a great white decided to eat someone. Now I've lost my job and suddenly the honeymoon period is well and truly over. Although I go out a lot and have made new friends, I'm questioning my current personality - it's like I've gone back to the age I was when I left the first time and am out partying all hours and doing stupid things. My old friends are mostly settled down and while it's been OK spending time with them, we really have nothing in common any more. I am applying for jobs here but after what's happened in my current workplace I'm really disheartened by the attitude of work people here. I learned so much in the UK and did several qualifications there, but any ideas I put forward here (which was meant to be my job) were met with criticism saying yes well we don't do that here. Last week I saw a job advertised in Cornwall which is completely in my specialist field. But now I've seen it, I can't get the idea of moving back out of my head. I just know that even if I don't go back, I'm always going to miss the UK terribly. I love the architecture, the countryside, the shopping etc. I also have debt over there, but I have been good and been making payments still - they know where I am. My credit card companies weren't so nice and insisted that I pay everything before I left, so when I couldn't they sold the debt to some not so nice debt companies. However they'll only come after me here, and I don't believe in running out on debt so they know where I am. At the moment the exchange rate is good, and my salary here (well when I was working) was higher than what I could earn in the UK. Likewise the loan payments are really favourable - but that might not be the case for long. I've spent thousands and thousands on moving over the years - and have just transferred all my pensions here and lost thousands on the exchange rate. I feel really lost now - I can't keep doing ping-pong - but whenever I return to Australia I want to leave so quick - where as when I return to UK I stay for ages until something happens. I come from a long line of ping-pong Brit expats - my great gran and grandad emigrated in the 60s when my mum's family came out - then they went back to the UK in the 70s, then came back in the late 70s when I was born and then when my great grandad died, my great gran did it every year - 6 months in Oz/6 months in the UK. As I said, my Mum goes back for 5 weeks every few years. In my heart, I know if I had a house near the sea in the British countryside with a partner that I loved, I'd finally feel settled. I just can't visualise myself feeling that settled here. I'd miss my family, but after being away from them for 14 of the last 16 years I don't feel that close to them. I'd miss my Dad the most, but I only see him when I visit SA every few months and while it's awful to say, he won't be around forever. So part of me wants to spend time with him while he is around, but the other part says, what happens when he's not and I've set up here in Oz and left it too long to go back to the UK? I'm at that age where I need settlement! Sorry for the long post, but I am so confused at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
possie in brissy Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Like everyone on this part of the forum, I've got that really unsettled feeling and want to go back to the UK. I'm an Aussie that first moved to the UK during uni days and stayed 3 years. Then one year, things were difficult at work, a family member was ill and when a job in Australia came up that I was offered, I packed up and moved back. I knew within weeks I'd made the wrong decision, but told myself that it was just re-entry issues. I furnished a house and tried to fit in. When the year contract was up and I was offered permanent I turned it down and got the international movers in and moved back to the UK. I never really settled, but I did feel I was in the right country. I said I'd never return to Australia and I finally went for permanent residency. My mum's English and although she's been in Australia for 40 years, she's never really settled. 9 years on and the credit crunch hit, my relationship broke up and I'd not managed a holiday home in 5 years. I started to think about Australia and being closer to family and when a few of my really close UK friends mentioned they were considering migrating, I decided I was going home. This time I chose Melbourne. I spent a few months with my family in Adelaide and got quality time with them. Then I got a job in Melbourne, came here, made friends, enjoyed the job, got a great place to rent and started the whole furnish the place and my stuff was shipped over. But even with a great salary, I was finding that I was never going to be able to afford a place where I wanted to live - I'd be stuck renting - and I really want a home and to feel settled - somewhere I can call my own. While I've made friends, something still isn't right and I hate the dating game too and all the men I've met turn me off - I think it's the accent! Christmas just wasn't right - even though I spent it with family for the first time in ten years, it had no atmosphere. I'm normally a real Christmas person, and I had a great Christmas in 2008 with friends - loads of atmosphere and good times. I'd felt that the last Christmas I had here too. While I love being by the sea, and walking home via the walkway along the bay, I don't want to go in the sea or lay in the sun. I burn way too quickly, need to cover up and have four new moles (I have a real English complexion). I loved the sea in the UK, and had been contemplating moving to Cornwall for years. I had learn to surf down there as well, but I hate surfing here - I have a real phobia of sharks due to being on a beach years ago as a kid when a great white decided to eat someone. Now I've lost my job and suddenly the honeymoon period is well and truly over. Although I go out a lot and have made new friends, I'm questioning my current personality - it's like I've gone back to the age I was when I left the first time and am out partying all hours and doing stupid things. My old friends are mostly settled down and while it's been OK spending time with them, we really have nothing in common any more. I am applying for jobs here but after what's happened in my current workplace I'm really disheartened by the attitude of work people here. I learned so much in the UK and did several qualifications there, but any ideas I put forward here (which was meant to be my job) were met with criticism saying yes well we don't do that here. Last week I saw a job advertised in Cornwall which is completely in my specialist field. But now I've seen it, I can't get the idea of moving back out of my head. I just know that even if I don't go back, I'm always going to miss the UK terribly. I love the architecture, the countryside, the shopping etc. I also have debt over there, but I have been good and been making payments still - they know where I am. My credit card companies weren't so nice and insisted that I pay everything before I left, so when I couldn't they sold the debt to some not so nice debt companies. However they'll only come after me here, and I don't believe in running out on debt so they know where I am. At the moment the exchange rate is good, and my salary here (well when I was working) was higher than what I could earn in the UK. Likewise the loan payments are really favourable - but that might not be the case for long. I've spent thousands and thousands on moving over the years - and have just transferred all my pensions here and lost thousands on the exchange rate. I feel really lost now - I can't keep doing ping-pong - but whenever I return to Australia I want to leave so quick - where as when I return to UK I stay for ages until something happens. I come from a long line of ping-pong Brit expats - my great gran and grandad emigrated in the 60s when my mum's family came out - then they went back to the UK in the 70s, then came back in the late 70s when I was born and then when my great grandad died, my great gran did it every year - 6 months in Oz/6 months in the UK. As I said, my Mum goes back for 5 weeks every few years. In my heart, I know if I had a house near the sea in the British countryside with a partner that I loved, I'd finally feel settled. I just can't visualise myself feeling that settled here. I'd miss my family, but after being away from them for 14 of the last 16 years I don't feel that close to them. I'd miss my Dad the most, but I only see him when I visit SA every few months and while it's awful to say, he won't be around forever. So part of me wants to spend time with him while he is around, but the other part says, what happens when he's not and I've set up here in Oz and left it too long to go back to the UK? I'm at that age where I need settlement! Sorry for the long post, but I am so confused at the moment. Hi koala I am feeling your pain, oh dear its a hard one, u must follow your gut instinct and follow your heart and it will take you to were u wanna be. Being adventurous is one thing, but if it is making ya unhappy, the adventure must come to an end !!!!and maybe settlement were your "hat lies" will change your outlook on life. u are perfectly normal and we all strive for a better life and a change of scenery. but then sometimes you gotta hold ya head up and say "i did it" it was good at the time but now i want to live in harmony with my decision. whatever your decision is i hope it changes the way u r feelin. "we are put on this planet for a good time and not for a long time" Take care and keep smiling, :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofyhugger Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 The first sentence in the last paragraph says it all to me. You know in your heart what will make you happy. Life is too short to live for anyone but yourself and it's not a dress rehearsal. You have that picture in your mind of what you long for deep down. Make it happen, bit by bit. Onwards and upwards I say. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Apply for the job and put everything into getting it. If you get it then it's a sign and that is where your next opportunity will be. Life is all about taking those opportunities you are given and making them work for you. Personally I'm like your mum, 31 years here (next month) and have to escape on a regular basis (backpack packed and I am off at lunchtime for 5 weeks sanity and the chance to be "me" once more). However, it is an expensive hobby!!!! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MSTO Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 I agree with Quoll apply for the job, go all out to get it, if you do get it I think the decision will be made easier for you. By having a job to go to that is one less thing you need to worry about when you get to the UK. From reading your post you do seem happier in the UK. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koala77 Posted February 13, 2010 Author Share Posted February 13, 2010 Thanks everyone. I'm going to put everything into the application and see what happens. I can't afford to go back without a job to go to. I've got the return leg of my ticket I can use - currently dated for March but open to extension until June. The idea was I was taking a holiday in May and get another year return so I could go back again for a holiday in 2011 for my graduation. I'll apply for jobs here too - and see what fate lands me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koala77 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 well I still have no interviews here - although awaiting the outcome from an agency putting me forward for something. But I have heard from the job in the UK - the closing date isn't for another 10 days and they have apparently been inundated with applications however they have informed me I am definitely short-listed for the first round of telephone interviews - as mentioned, I have experience of doing a similar role before so while it's an attractive role to people with that skillset, very few will have actual experience in the same sort of role - so fingers crossed! I have no idea what I'll do if I get it financially. I think I may possibly stick all my stuff in storage before I go for the interview - and if I don't get it, rent a room back here for a while - after all I can't afford the rent after end of March if I don't have a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest London Girl Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Hi Koala I read your post and thought of myself in much of what you say, I am suffering terribly in the UK because part of me wants to go back but then if I did I know I would hate it. I have lived in australia twice and came back to the uk twice and each time costing thousands in the end my last time in australia ended up in a complete nightmare i got arested got drunk very depressed and it has followed me to the uk. I know how you feel it is the worst feeling to not know where you belong any more and i am feeling that now. I think you should go where your heart tells you, it seems you already know but need to be able to justify your thinking, Cornwall is beautiful and if I could i would live there but no work for me I think you should come back if you get that job and even if you dont it sounds like you are experienced enough to get another one. p.s i am also in huge debt in the uk but am laying low for the minute until i sort my head out as have been really depressed. Good luck with it all I really wish you the best, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest London Girl Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Koala, Can I ask how old you are? regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koala77 Posted February 16, 2010 Author Share Posted February 16, 2010 I'm 33. I've read your thread London Girl - hope it works out for you. The lesson I am learning - stop running away from problems! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest London Girl Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Hi Koala, Yes this is true, in my case though I was cracking up there really losing it. I have to say although I am very low I also feel free in a weird way I managed to go to Sainsburys yesterday and it was nice to be around like minded people and the shopping was a dream I never thought that getting a beef stew would be so nice. I am speaking to a solicitor in australia to represent me so that if i ever want to come back i can but slowly i am realising that my heart is here even if it is tough and i did make the right decision no matter how wrong i did it. The thing is follow your gut instinct my gut told me to get out and I did and I listened to the people on pio and they gave me good advice and I am grateful to them for that because i was ready to jump on a plane to new zealand and stop the shipping. The people on this site do understand i was at my absolute lowest almost suicidal and i got so many posts from people with support this site is wonderful because many of us have the same feelings or dilemas. I am sure you will make the right decision, I am 39 which is why I wondered how old you are as it appears you are a woman as I am and in some ways settling down with the right person is all we want in the right location and I am also looking for that, thought I found it in Australia until he turned into an animal. Anyway, pls pm me any time I would like to help if i can. J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaniaColin Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Hi Londongirl so pleased you are beginning to feel better about the choices you have made, and hope you make a speedy recovery and i'm sure you will feel better about everything, good luck with it all Tania x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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