Guest mozziebite Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 I've always been a laid back lassie, like the sun, like a bevvy (sometimes a bit too much!), love sitting having me tea outside (or dinner if you're from down south!) - I even like AC/DC!! So why the hell am I so unhappy here? I really like Australia, gorgeous beaches, people are nice but am spending a lot of time lately trying to analyse why I don't like it here when it seems everyone else does.... The only thing I can come up with is 'roots' and how firmly you might have set them down in the U.K. I am missing family and friends so much, I never thought I would be like this. Before I left the UK lots of my female work colleagues said with a cold look in their eyes ' I could never go and live in Aus, would miss my family too much' etc etc. I inwardly laughed them off, thinking they had no sense of adventure. Turns out they were right all along. Bloods thicker than water, time to set the wheels in motion to go back home. It was me all along, not Australia thats the trouble! What a relief getting that off me chest, now back to my glass of wine.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 I've always been a laid back lassie, like the sun, like a bevvy (sometimes a bit too much!), love sitting having me tea outside (or dinner if you're from down south!) - I even like AC/DC!! So why the hell am I so unhappy here? I really like Australia, gorgeous beaches, people are nice but am spending a lot of time lately trying to analyse why I don't like it here when it seems everyone else does.... T back home. It was me all along, not Australia thats the trouble! What a relief getting that off me chest, now back to my glass of wine.... Great post Mozzie, why prolong the agony when you have one life, enjoy your planning and your glass of wine:wubclub: Susie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Hi Mozziebite, You have hit the 'Brick wall' that everyone hits at some point, missing family and friends. There are various paths people take at this point, Move back to the UK Give yourself a few more months to see how it goes Take a holiday in the UK and see if it is really what you want to do There is no wrong or right answer to your position, only you know how you feel and what is right for you. The only advice I can offer is to ask you to think about your moves now. If you go back will you in 12 months time think... Perhaps I should have given it longer Will I feel any different in another 6 months, should I try it and see how it goes Should you take a holiday and see how things feel in the UK. Remember that your friends lives have moved on and they may not fall over themselves to welcome you back. I wish you well, whatever your final decision is and at least if you go back you can say, I tried Australia, I know what its like. :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mozziebite Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 I agree totally with what you say Colin, you are so right and everyone will say the same, give it longer or go back for a hol. But when you wait til your kids are off to school before you can have a bit cry its different, I don't feel right here and when you best pal says 'whats happened to you you've always been a happy person' you begin to wonder. Mebbes if I go back this summer my pals won't move on or forget me, hopefully.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest31881 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 What ever you decide I wish you well, only you know how you feel and only you can make the desicion. There have been many on here who have expressed the sentiments you have. You are not alone in feeling this way. Some go back, some dont. Do what you feel is right for you. If you are in to much emotional pain then Australia is probably not the place for you. make your plans, start the ball rolling, at least that way if you start to feel better, you will know in your heart you are making the right decision. best wishes and good luck:wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Life is too short to be miserable, go with your gut otherwise you could find yourself 20 years down the track being very stuck and still unhappy.:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pommekate Posted February 14, 2010 Share Posted February 14, 2010 I remember that feeling so well, I did go back to the Uk for about 6 weeks after being here for 1 year, and although it was great to catch up with everyone, I did realise that I missed australia. When I was on the flight going to the Uk I was thinking that it was going to be soo hard to come back but it was the opposite. It did take me a good 3 years to really feel settled here. Eight years later with an aussie hubbie and 3 kids this is now home for me. Everyone is different so I have to agree with some above posts suggesting going back for a hol. But after 7 months everything is still very new. Good luck with the decisions you make, and only you can make them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SophieKin Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 7 months, even though it is a relatively short time, is long enough to know if you want to return. I am in the same boat and have been here the same amount of time and I am giving it another year, but I know exactly how you feel. There is nothing I really dislike about being here but everyday I feel like something is missing and that is wrong when I am here with my family - the only thing it can be is a sense of belonging that is missing. I could plod on here but I dont think I would ever be really happy. It is a decision only you can make, good luck and I hope things work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mozziebite Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Thank you all so much for the replies it was lovely to see nobody banged on about only being here 7 months which is what I was expecting! I think what is making it worse is two kids who wanted to come in the first place and are both now saying they miss their friends and old schools and also the doorbell doesn't go here all the time with mates knocking to play out - I suppose we were all okay at first but if you think your kids would like to go back - it makes you worse I suppose, even tho they have made some friends here. I think if we are going back, we need to go back sooner rather than later in case we mess their education up (eldest is at High School) Might be easier said than done getting a job back there (husband) tho. In the meantime I will continue to enrol them into swimming, footy, take them camping, go surfing as we have been doing ..like I say its a great place - they are just missing home which is having a massive effect on me, brought all my true feelings to the surface which I was willing to bury for their happiness. Sorry to ramble on on this site but seeing it as a kind of therapy session! He he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaniaColin Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Hi we to have only been here 7 months, i still have my good days and bad days, the children are more settled now, i to missed not having any kids knocking on for them, and yes i know it takes time, but i suppose it is how strong you want to stay here. My two eldest now have friends in the street who knock on most nights for them, and they both had friends sleeping over the weekend. I think they seem alot happier now than they have for a long time. My 9 year old still wants to go back home, and yes i will take him back, just waiting for his passport to come through, and then decide what i need to do. For me it is the isolation of not really seeing anyone, i miss my friends and hairdressing clients and a good old gossip, and even speaking to mums and dads at the school. So i think come next month i will make a decision one way or another, i to think about my kids education, at least they can catch up if we go back soon, good luck in what ever you decide to do Tania x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 It is like what someone else said "You only live once" if you and your family are unhappy then Australia is NOT right for you. Does it matter that other people may love Australia, no it doesn't, and you are not a failure for going back, I think it takes a lot of guts to speak out and say Australia isn't right and that you have made the wrong choice, so good on you. I hope whichever path you choose you are all happy and that it is the right one for YOU alone. Hugs Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest red back Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Try a holiday back home first before throwing the towel in. The Uk is desperate and suffering from all the things you left.. Enjoy the wine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poca&Dan Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I've always been a laid back lassie, like the sun, like a bevvy (sometimes a bit too much!), love sitting having me tea outside (or dinner if you're from down south!) - I even like AC/DC!! So why the hell am I so unhappy here? I really like Australia, gorgeous beaches, people are nice but am spending a lot of time lately trying to analyse why I don't like it here when it seems everyone else does.... The only thing I can come up with is 'roots' and how firmly you might have set them down in the U.K. I am missing family and friends so much, I never thought I would be like this. Before I left the UK lots of my female work colleagues said with a cold look in their eyes ' I could never go and live in Aus, would miss my family too much' etc etc. I inwardly laughed them off, thinking they had no sense of adventure. Turns out they were right all along. Bloods thicker than water, time to set the wheels in motion to go back home. It was me all along, not Australia thats the trouble! What a relief getting that off me chest, now back to my glass of wine.... Oh my god, I completely agree with this post! I am so torn and feel so pathetic over it! Have not been here very long at all and feel stupid for already thinking this way.... Australia so far has been really good to us, and I keep racking my brains trying to work out what it is I don't like! The weather is gorgeous, the scenery is great, I love the city, we're near the beach, we are financially better off here, I have a beautiful home with all brand new furniture yet there is something missing or more to the point, I am not really finding it any different from the UK only the weather is better! All things that I have a round me - bar the weather - I could find in the UK, yet when I was unhappy in the UK I just moved the other side of the world! The first week I was here, understandably I was homesick, then it eased, we slipped into the lifestyle very quickly and smoothly, then this week it has just struck me so hard, my heart is literally breaking! I just don't know what I want! Part of me is so proud of myself for having made the move, and homesickness was to be expected, whereas the other part of me thinks I made a big mistake and now may have ruined my life!!!! If I do return, I will be returning on my own - came him with OH, I don't think he will leave, he is so in love with the country! So I run the risk of leaving a man that, well without sounding like I am delusional - is pretty much perfect, returning home and still being miserable - but no sidekick! When I think of home all of a sudden a cloud lifts, but I know it isn't like that and I know I was pretty miserable there! Like you said, wasn;t the country it was me who had the problem all a long! I plan to stay here at least a year before I make a hasty decision, but somedays I find that thought so hard to come to terms with! So nice to read your post! It's hard to get a point across - I am really fond of Oz, just miss home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest valleylass Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Hi PocaandDan Sorry you are feeling so wobbly, it sounds like you are suffering from that rotten people/home sickness which is deeply unpleasant. I should imagine everyone feels like this at sometime whether the move has been right for them or not. Sticking with it sounds wise - be kind to yourself too though and maybe try and talk to that lovely sounding bloke. I'm sure there will be lots along on here with some sound advice. Best wishes:biggrin: valleylass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poca&Dan Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 It is like what someone else said "You only live once" if you and your family are unhappy then Australia is NOT right for you. Does it matter that other people may love Australia, no it doesn't, and you are not a failure for going back, I think it takes a lot of guts to speak out and say Australia isn't right and that you have made the wrong choice, so good on you.I hope whichever path you choose you are all happy and that it is the right one for YOU alone. Hugs Kate You are so right! I think we get so caught up in 'we moved here to better our lives and Australia is such a fantastic country' that somedays I really feel like the only reason we would stay is because we bigged up what a fantastic opportunity it was to come here! People always said to me before I left 'if I was 20 years younger I would do it and you should go and you'd be silly to come back' but I realised these are poeple who have never really left there comfort zone! Which is silly, if ultimately you are/I am unhappy, then there is no sound reason to stay. It is Ok to admit that it didn't work out! At least we all tried it. As I said early I plan to stay for at least a year so that I can truely say that I tried it and it didn't/did work, but I will not stay if I am unhappy! Also I completely appreciate it all a lot more now too! I used to watch progs like wanted down under and see people with beautiful homes, with pools and constant sunshine and want to return to England. I used to shout at the tv 'why are you returning, look at the beautiful home you have' etc, but can completely understand it now. At the end of the day, money, nice home and stuff - it doesn't really count! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmylou23 Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 I met a couple at work the other day who had been here since the sixties. She's now in her early seventies and burst into tears while we were talking because she'd never see England again. They went home for a short period in the eighties, but their daughter wanted to come back to Australia so they did. It broke my heart because I couldn't live that much of my life wanting to be somewhere else then when I'm on my last legs regreting the decisions I have made. Life is too short, you have to do what makes you happy and sometimes sticking it out isn't the best option as it only leads to heartache in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mozziebite Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Ah that post really made me sad, but really hit home. I get mildly panic stricken at the thought of my hubby not getting a job and us staying... but at the end of the day he will get something at some point its stressing me out the 'not knowing when' bit...feel as tho we are in limbo at the mo and treading water but hey we have had a lovely weekend, the weather has been gorgeous, must stay focussed on not letting it get to me and enjoy the time we have left here. Oh and folks I have stopped analysing the 'whats missing' bit - I mean whats the point!!! And you are so right the folks back home saying 'you're mad to come back'....who the hell cares about Gordon Brown, the state of the economy and the rising petrol prices when it is pitched against your happiness and state of mind! Anway, the Aussies say the same about Kev and rising house prices (well mebbes not the petrol bit!!) Just can't wait to book my log cabin in Scotland in the winter, bring it on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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