Linda Irvine Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 :sad:Been here in Gympie Queensland for 17 months now, quiet country town as we are in our 50s and hubby had to get job in a regional area. Applying for perm residency at moment, getting police checks and medicals etc. done, but I feel it's all sweeping me along and I'm still not sure I want to be here! My son and his partner live 2 hrs away in Brisbane and they are expecting our 1st grandchild plus my other son is living and working in London. Big guilt feelings about wanting to go back to the UK with grandchild on the way and hubby liking it here, and I feel so sad some days missing my life in England plus friends, work and relatives. I feel that I'm just existing at the moment and waiting for things to get better although I have met some really nice Aussies by doing voluntary work and joining a book club and history class. Why do I still feel so empty? Anyone else feel like this? I feel I should be sure of what I want to do by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Hi Linda I am sorry to hear of your situation, unfortunately sometimes Australia isn't right for people and they do struggle to settle, it is even harder when the rest of the family enjoy their new life. You are doing all the right things in getting out and about and meeting new people. Have you been back to the UK since you arrived? If not why not book yourself a holiday away, go back and see your son and see if you feel happier back in the UK. Some people go for a holiday and then realise why they did leave in the first place and they come back and settle in a lot easier. Hugs Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 :hug: Yup. Very empty most of the time and I have been here considerably longer than you have:biglaugh:. I would like to say that it will get better - it may well, but on the other hand it may not. Is this where you want to spend your winding down years? The attraction of a grandchild may make it easier for you - you wont be that far away of course when the bub arrives and your world may well change for the better. But you still have to feel happy within yourself and it is quite possible that Australia will not engender that feeling within you no matter what you do or who lives here. It is equally possible that you would go back to UK, find it fits like a pair of old slippers and tear your heart out when you have to leave to come back here but Kate is right, you may need to leave to find out for sure. Hopefully if you do decide that your future is in UK, your DH wont be difficult and will go back with you. Good luck and remember that there is no right or wrong to all this - if it doesnt float your boat then cut your losses and go to where you will be happiest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Irvine Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Yes, we have been back to the UK in July for a month to catch up with everyone and had a wonderful time with our son and my sister especially. I miss them so much that I feel torn in half between here and there. I have a lot of thinking to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest johno1 Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Do feel for you Linda. We are 'down the road ' in Buderim. Been here for just 10 weeks but I know its not feeling right at the moment and as Quoll said, we think we may quit while we are ahead and head on back soon. Trouble is, my boys are absolutely loving it and I know in my heart it is a better life for them. Don't know how to tell them.... As previously mentioned, why not wait for the baby then see how you feel? There is a meet in Mooloolaba on Saturday...maybe you could come along to that for a chat x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Irvine Posted October 14, 2009 Author Share Posted October 14, 2009 Well, I hope you do whatever makes you happiest. Kids are resilient and will settle back happily eventually, although it's hard and makes you feel guilty. The most important thing is that it's better for them if you're happy. All the best whatever you decide and lots of luck for the future x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KAS Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Hi Linda, I think I'm in the same boat.I've been here 9 months and so want to go back home but my OH and eldest are adamant that they are staying,and "it's the better way of life" for my children that brought us here and to go back just for me would make me a selfish person??? I feel personally that to keep dragging them across the world everytime I feel like I've had enough is not good for them!! So for now I'll have to grin and bear it and look forward to our 6 week trip next year and that will make me even worse (like you) or cure me ( I doubt it) My way of coping day to day is to think that this is a holiday and we'll not be here for ever and it's only when I have these thoughts that I'm not so negative about the whole of Australia because believe you me when I'm in that state of mind I hate everything about this place,I even wake in the middle of the night and think I've made a huge mistake. I hope everything works out and you can only do whats right for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sooveroz Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 :sad:Been here in Gympie Queensland for 17 months now, quiet country town as we are in our 50s and hubby had to get job in a regional area. Applying for perm residency at moment, getting police checks and medicals etc. done, but I feel it's all sweeping me along and I'm still not sure I want to be here! My son and his partner live 2 hrs away in Brisbane and they are expecting our 1st grandchild plus my other son is living and working in London. Big guilt feelings about wanting to go back to the UK with grandchild on the way and hubby liking it here, and I feel so sad some days missing my life in England plus friends, work and relatives. I feel that I'm just existing at the moment and waiting for things to get better although I have met some really nice Aussies by doing voluntary work and joining a book club and history class. Why do I still feel so empty? Anyone else feel like this? I feel I should be sure of what I want to do by now. Hi Linda - we are in perth and heading back to the uk early next year after 3 years. the first year or so was great - enjoyed discovering new places and meeting new people. We had no one to take the kids to school and pick them up so we both worked part time. i think this gave us a holiday feeling and of course, being from scotland, the sun was a huge novelty!! but then it started to feel sort of "is this it for the rest of our lives"? funnily enough we once when we were talking about it all, we were asking ourselves if maybe it was to do with our age (mid 40s) and would it have been different if we'd came out when younger - the reason being the friendships we have back in scotland have spanned 40 plus years and we have shared good, bad and very intense times with those people. although we have made lovely friends here, there is no real bond as such and frankly, I don't think I can wait for 10 or 20 years for that to happen. we've also been shaped by living most of our adult lives in british culture and its just so hard to shake that off!! my aussie friends are lovely but just dont get me at times! you may indeed feel different once the baby comes and feel more of a desire to be here and although you are two hours away, you will be able to visit frequently. if you go back to uk, it will likely be that you see the child less but for longer periods at a time. i feel for you - its such a horrible place to be (emotinally I mean, not geographically!).. wishing you well and hope you find your inner peace :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorrydo Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 :sad:Been here in Gympie Queensland for 17 months now, quiet country town as we are in our 50s and hubby had to get job in a regional area. Applying for perm residency at moment, getting police checks and medicals etc. done, but I feel it's all sweeping me along and I'm still not sure I want to be here! My son and his partner live 2 hrs away in Brisbane and they are expecting our 1st grandchild plus my other son is living and working in London. Big guilt feelings about wanting to go back to the UK with grandchild on the way and hubby liking it here, and I feel so sad some days missing my life in England plus friends, work and relatives. I feel that I'm just existing at the moment and waiting for things to get better although I have met some really nice Aussies by doing voluntary work and joining a book club and history class. Why do I still feel so empty? Anyone else feel like this? I feel I should be sure of what I want to do by now. Hi Linda, I'm not that far away from you if you would like to meet up for a coffee some time, PM me and we could meet in Gympie. Dorrydo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Irvine Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 I feel for you and know exactly the feelings of hating everything Australian, (although it's not their fault we came here!!), and wondering if it's all a huge mistake. It's so much harder for you having kids to consider as well as hubby. I really hope you find what you want, maybe the UK trip will decide? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorrydo Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 :sad:Been here in Gympie Queensland for 17 months now, quiet country town as we are in our 50s and hubby had to get job in a regional area. Applying for perm residency at moment, getting police checks and medicals etc. done, but I feel it's all sweeping me along and I'm still not sure I want to be here! My son and his partner live 2 hrs away in Brisbane and they are expecting our 1st grandchild plus my other son is living and working in London. Big guilt feelings about wanting to go back to the UK with grandchild on the way and hubby liking it here, and I feel so sad some days missing my life in England plus friends, work and relatives. I feel that I'm just existing at the moment and waiting for things to get better although I have met some really nice Aussies by doing voluntary work and joining a book club and history class. Why do I still feel so empty? Anyone else feel like this? I feel I should be sure of what I want to do by now. Hi Linda, Have sent you a P M with my phone number. Dorrydo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 When one of the family likes it and another does not in my view nothing fixes it. My friend who is Australian lives in QLD and has done for 13 years and she wants to return to Victoria and always has. OH likes it in Queensland. So what happens they stay there and he is happy they move to Vic and he is unhappy. Its the same with moving to Aus. Depends on the person, men in general like Australia and the women miss their family except us we never missed the family. Once you have done it then its never the same again. As my other friend says her husband did not like working in the cold as he worked outside, it was ok for my friend she worked inside. You came here in the first place, why, ask yourself, did you not have reservations. Who said it would be easy. A lot return to the UK and a lot then want to come back to Aus, its a merry go round and very hard on the pocket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Irvine Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 It must be a lot easier and more black and white when you don't miss your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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