Mongrel Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 When do you stop thinking about family in the uk? I have 3 sisters and 1 brother in the uk. We had a close relationship with most of family before we emigrated but since we have been here 1 sister stays in touch and the others just ignore us. Doesnt help that the sis that ignores us is the one that our 18 year old daughter ( only child ) is living with. It upsets me on a daily basis, my OH loses patience with me and tells me to get on with it. Thats fine but hard to do. Is it jealousy with the famly in the uk? My sis and her OH always wanted to emigrate but never had the guts to do it! I am gutted with the way they have treated us and they have been one of the reasons i have been unsettled since i got here. I love my life here and we are very happy, My question is do we just forget about the family and let them get in touch with us or persist with emails, texts etc and hope they accept that we are here to stay.:spinny: Not the full story here but will give more detail if needed. Thanks in advance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sykestykes Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Hi Mal I don't think it's the distance so much as the sense of "unfinished business" that you have with your family. I'm a big believer in keeping the channels of communication open even if it's just to say "Look, we love you and we're here for you. We would love to hear from you/ see you, if that's what you want to do." At least then if they choose to continue ignoring you, you'll know that you gave it your best shot and you weren't in the wrong. Hoping things work out for you, Sue xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mon&mark Posted September 7, 2008 Share Posted September 7, 2008 i think sometimes people who are afraid of change take alot longer to accept things when another person has made that change because they tend to focus on their own regrets but they are your family and i'm sure given time they will come round and accept things the way they are and be intouch with you, but i agree with the other post keep intouch with them and still make the effort if only to make yourself feel better that you're not the one instigating the lack of communication Good luck, Mon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 Thanks for replies. Its hard to be ignored by family that we were close to before coming here. I dont understand it and when i dont understand something i analyse myself and wonder if im at fault. Spoke to friends today who all told me that although it hurts i have to move on and hope that they will come around eventually. Its their problem not mine lol i hope? Nicki xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 My sister been in Australia for approx 3 years and I dont hear a word from her anymore:sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 My sister been in Australia for approx 3 years and I dont hear a word from her anymore:sad: Thats sad, families eh? you cant choose them, as the old saying goes? :arghh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Nicki, My lot in Oz telephone for birthdays and Xmas. My brother telephones our mother every other sunday evening here whilst he drives to work in St.Kilda. Mums 94. we might telephone each other if there is a matter that needs to be discussed where the human reaction is needed. That might happen once a quarter. They write a little notepad blog every sat/sunday or as the mood takes them, then once a month they email it to family with computers. They also might email once or twice a week just sending jokes on a round robin. I cannot rememebr what we all did before computers. We could text each other but what's the point we have e-mail. I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you setle down into a contact routine that suits you and your family never reply don't worry. Just stick with your routine, you will feel better for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest kdal Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Thats sad, families eh? you cant choose them, as the old saying goes? :arghh: .. I know I always say to my Oh 'right thats it i'm not calling her anymore' and then a month later I cant help myself so I phone , no answer so I text and no answer. The other day for the first time in abt 4 months my sister sent me a text saying 'is this your number Kim?', yipppeee 'yes' I replied, and havent heard a dicky bird since:no:. I even sent an email to her work place the other week as soon it will be Xmas and I dont have their new address (they have moved out of their rental to new address), to send the children their xmas pressies and card .. It is sad but we can you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 Nicki,My lot in Oz telephone for birthdays and Xmas. My brother telephones our mother every other sunday evening here whilst he drives to work in St.Kilda. Mums 94. we might telephone each other if there is a matter that needs to be discussed where the human reaction is needed. That might happen once a quarter. They write a little notepad blog every sat/sunday or as the mood takes them, then once a month they email it to family with computers. They also might email once or twice a week just sending jokes on a round robin. I cannot rememebr what we all did before computers. We could text each other but what's the point we have e-mail. I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you setle down into a contact routine that suits you and your family never reply don't worry. Just stick with your routine, you will feel better for it. I know thanks. I email them because thats me. I suppose one day i might just think **** it but till then i just carry on. Im too nice and understanding me thinks? :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 .. I know I always say to my Oh 'right thats it i'm not calling her anymore' and then a month later I cant help myself so I phone , no answer so I text and no answer. The other day for the first time in abt 4 months my sister sent me a text saying 'is this your number Kim?', yipppeee 'yes' I replied, and havent heard a dicky bird since:no:. I even sent an email to her work place the other week as soon it will be Xmas and I dont have their new address (they have moved out of their rental to new address), to send the children their xmas pressies and card .. It is sad but we can you do I just think about growing old, im nearly there lol, and not being in touch with them to moan about arthritis, the price of fish etc lol Oh well their call eh? Still sad though and i will think about it daily at the moment, cos thats me? :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J&T Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 It's so sad to hear some of these stories. My husband and I both have big families and have lost touch with some of our siblings (and we're still in England!). IMO there's so much jealousy about between families and I can't understand why people can't just share someone's happiness. I'm sure by the time we get to Oz, we'll probably be more or less on our own. My Grandfather left for Oz 40 years ago and I'm the only Grandchild that keeps in touch with him. (He has 10 grandchilden & lots of great-children that he doesn't even know). Only 1 out of his 4 children keep in touch. The others say it's his own fault for leaving the UK. Families are so complicated. We now just feel lucky that we have each other and we're our own little family. At the end of the day, all you can do is try!! Maybe they need a good holiday in Oz to understand more why you left. (They might even follow you there!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted September 8, 2008 Author Share Posted September 8, 2008 It's so sad to hear some of these stories. My husband and I both have big families and have lost touch with some of our siblings (and we're still in England!). IMO there's so much jealousy about between families and I can't understand why people can't just share someone's happiness. I'm sure by the time we get to Oz, we'll probably be more or less on our own. My Grandfather left for Oz 40 years ago and I'm the only Grandchild that keeps in touch with him. (He has 10 grandchilden & lots of great-children that he doesn't even know). Only 1 out of his 4 children keep in touch. The others say it's his own fault for leaving the UK. Families are so complicated. We now just feel lucky that we have each other and we're our own little family. At the end of the day, all you can do is try!! Maybe they need a good holiday in Oz to understand more why you left. (They might even follow you there!) I would love some of my family to come here but sadly i dont think that will happen Luckily i have some friends here who mean the world to me and i chose them, unlike my family! Take care xx:smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moonraker1961 Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 Hi,my family are the other way round as I live in the Uk and they are all in Oz.My twin regularly writes me off (does'nt email sometimes for weeks)if I tell her in convo that I might decide to stay here.It annoys me no end.Its like she is controlling the situation and saying to me "Well if you don't come back to Oz,get used to being on your own because I won't be emailing you" ggggrrrr lol Sadly I think in your case its pretty common.People move to Oz or somewhere else and family get the hump over it.Some folks can deal with it pretty well whereas others feel they need to act ****ty or whatever because of the decision you have made.Thats their problem though is'nt it?Its a real shame it happens but I can asure you,you're not alone xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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